Chapter 6 - Odds and Ends

Darren twisted and turned in his sleep, dreaming of the Morgendorffers discovering his secret and becoming angry. Helen, Jake, Daria, and Quinn, wearing white robes, came through a foggy mist in a dark room, surrounded him, and began to accuse.

HELEN: (Frowns, points at him:) How could you lie to me, your own mother, like that, young man? Just think--I hugged you!

JAKE: (Frowns, points at him:) Thanks a lot, Big Guy! You had to be a bad son that stabbed me in the back--just like my Old Man in reverse!

QUINN: (Frowns, points at him:) Congratuations, Big Bro--I'm humiliated because of your lie! Sandi's gonna eat me alive, and it's all your fault!

DARIA: (Frowns, points at him, usual deadpan:) Oooooh, boy, bro--you've broken Daria's Rule of Law #1--Thou shalt not deceive Daria Morgendorffer, and you shall pay accordingly. (Takes out a rope that's tied with a noose at the end, throws it over a branch of a suddenly-appearing tree, and pulls the noose over Darren's head, while Helen, Jake, and Quinn start to laugh at Darren sinisterly)

DARREN: (Panics, wide-eyed:) Wait! I'm sorry for lying to you all! Please give me another chance!

DARIA: (While shaking her head slowly:) No can do, bro. (Darren looks down and sees he's standing on a trap door, while Daria grins:) See you in hell. (The trap door opens, Darren screams)

Darren suddenly woke in a cold sweat holding his neck, and a hand was laid on his shoulder from the side.

JAKE: (Sitting beside Darren's bed in his pajamas and housecoat, concerned:) Are you okay, son?!

DARREN: Yeah Jake, I--(sees Jake, and falls out of bed, screaming:) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! (Now on floor, looks up at Jake stunned:) What are you doing in my room?!

JAKE: (Gets up out of his chair and waves his hands frantically, tries to reassure Darren:) I'm sorry, Darren! I was just sitting there, looking at you, watching over you! (Narrows his eyes, looking into space:) Unlike my Old Man--that rotten jerk! He left me to fend for myself at military school while he treated my mom like dirt! Well now, I'm not gonna make that mistake, oh, no! I'm gonna be there for my son! (Darren backs slowly away from Jake while still on floor, terrified, [think of "Terminator 2"--Linda Hamilton] and about this time, Helen, Daria, and Quinn, who was now in her nightclothes, come in)

HELEN: (Angry:) JAKE! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! (Darren flinches at Helen's shouting)

QUINN: (Confused:) What's going on, Daddy?

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Dad's just reliving old childhood memories, again. (Pauses, looks at Helen, slight frown:) Didn't we go through this before with you and dad?

JAKE: (Snaps out of his ranting with Helen's shout, suddenly nervous:) H-huh? Um, Helen, I just, ah--

DARREN: (Now gathers his wits, covers for Jake, looks at Helen:) --He--just heard me having a nightmare while he was out in the hallway passing by my room, and came to see what was going on, that's all. He found me on the floor when you came in. (Jake catches Darren's story, mouths a "thank you" to him)

HELEN: (Now calmed:) Oh, my! You must've had some nightmare, Darren. (Thought v.o.: My poor son--you must've been thinking about your parents, weren't you?)

DARREN: I--was dreaming I--fell off a cliff. I saw the ground coming towards me--

DARIA: --And remember, it's not the fall, but the sudden thump--

HELEN: (Annoyed while Darren tries not to laugh:) --Daria! (Looks at Darren:) Well, if you're all right Darren, Jake and I are going back to bed and get another hour of sleep. (Pushes Jake out of the room)

QUINN: (Looks out the window:) Hey, the sun's coming up--

DARIA: --It's called sunrise, Quinn--you'd be surprised that it does that everyday, and you wouldn't miss it if you'd get up and not sleep half the day away.

QUINN: Ha, Daria. I'm gotta get my beauty sleep--not that you'd ever want to get some for yourself. (Looks at Darren:) See you later, bro. (Leaves out of Darren's room)

Daria frowned to herself in slight shock. Did Quinn just call Darren her "bro"? She looked over at Darren, who looked at her a bit uneasily. Did he notice it, too? Well, she wouldn't know unless she asked--here goes.

DARIA: Um--Darren?

DARREN: Yes, Daria?

DARIA: Did I just hear Quinn call you--

DARREN: (Cuts her off gently:) --Her "bro"? Yes, I heard that. (Hesitates:) She said the same thing last night while we talked in her room. I was planning to say something about it to her today--

DARIA: (Now cuts him off gently:) --Do you feel--(pauses:) well, uh--uncomfortable with Quinn calling you that?

DARREN: (Looks at Daria, surprised:) Eh? N-no, of course not--it's just that, well, maybe that we should make sure that her calling me "bro" is true after the DNA test is done today. I wouldn't want her to be, er--embarassed or something if for some reason or another the test comes out, well--negative.

DARIA: (Eyebrow cocked:) You don't think the DNA test will be positive, Darren?

Darren stared at Daria wordlessly for a moment, with no expression. For the briefest of moments, Daria wondered if she said the wrong thing. Darren then spoke.

DARREN: (Shrugs:) I'm assuming that it will be, Daria--we all are. I mean, with the stories that I heard from (pauses:) your parents about what Turley did, and their hearing my story in comparison, it has to be true--(then in a way that sounds like he is trying to convince himself:) right? I'm just wanting to be careful here, that's all. (Pauses:) Do you think I shouldn't say anything to Quinn about her calling me her "bro"?

DARIA: To be honest with you-- (sighs:) no, I wouldn't, Darren--at least not until after the test is taken, and if it does turn out negative. I think Quinn's really getting into this "brother" thing, and has accepted it with no questions asked. (Adds:) I mean, our--(catches herself:) my parents think you're their son, so, why not let Quinn think the same sort of thing about you being her bro? (Darren ponders this) I mean, if the test is negative, then, well, she won't be the only one to be disappointed, and mom and dad could be there to help her through that.

DARREN: (Gives a quiet smile:) Would you feel disappointed if the test is negative, Daria?

Daria's eyes grew wide for the shortest possible moment, then she resumed her "expressionless expression".

DARIA: (Looks for words, shrugs, in a low voice:) I guess I'd be a little disappointed--(smirks:) you know, I couldn't have a bro to tease mercilessly like Quinn--(Darren grins) and I would want to try out some new barbs on another sibling, and I need you to test them on before I use them on anyone else. (Darren laughs)

DARREN: Well then, I guess we'd better hope that I'm ready for that, huh?

DARIA: (A little red-faced, Mona Lisa smile:) I guess. (Smirks, changes subject:) So, did dad really catch you in a nightmare?

DARREN: (Glances at Daria:) What do you mean?

DARIA: I mean, dad used to sit down beside Quinn's and my bed when we were little, watching us while we were asleep. When we woke up, he was there staring at us.

DARREN: (Wide-eyed:) You're--kidding!

DARIA: Nuh-uh. He did it occasionally until Quinn and I were about eight years old, and then mom stopped him because she thought he was scaring us. I think he came to us about an hour before we woke up, and just sat there, worried about "his little girls". Quinn told me once she kind of missed it once in awhile.

(Note to reader: Jake did this with an awake Daria-see "Ill")

DARREN: (Looking uncomfortable:) That's--scary.

DARIA: Tell me about it--so, did he catch you in the nightmare, or did you wake up and find him there looking at you--(adds, smirks:) and then you thought you were in a real nightmare?

DARREN: (Smirks back a little at Daria:) Both. I had the nightmare, and when I woke up, he was there. He put a hand on my shoulder, probably trying to reassure and comfort me, at least from his point of view. I looked right at him and fell out of the bed, hollering, because I was startled at the time.

DARIA: (With a look that says, "Oh God, he's embarassing the family again":) Yeesh. Look, I'll speak to dad about that so he won't do it again--

DARREN: (Shakes his head:) --No, it's okay. I'm guessing that, to him, at least, that he's trying to make up the time he lost by not having a--son. This may sound crazy to you, and it probably is--but let him keep doing it. (Daria looks surprised) After I got over my initial reaction over what he did, I listened with you all when he talked about his dad, my possible biological grandfather, and I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. If it helps him to get to know me better by doing that, it'll be fine--for a while at least. (Narrows eyes:) What sort of "hell" did his "Old Man" put him through? He said something about a military school--?

DARIA: (Looks up to think for a moment:) Hmmm--well, from dad's "rantings", he's told us that grandpa "Mad Dog" Morgendorffer was a real tyrant and bully to him and grandma Ruth. Grandma generally looked the other way and supported grandpa when he rode dad. Grandpa wanted dad to be a "man", and thusly sent him to the Buxton Ridge Military Academy, which promptly changed dad forever. Dad became bitter over what grandpa did, and even got angry with grandma over not standing up to grandpa. (Note to reader: see "Jake of Hearts") That little "confrontation" dad had with grandma over grandpa came after dad had a mild heart attack. (Sees Darren's concerned look:) I said mild. He's doing okay now, although he has to watch what he eats. (Pauses:) Speaking of which, I'd better warn you that mom's called her mom, grandma Evelyn, and grandma Ruth, along with aunt Rita and aunt Amy to meet you next week.

(Note to reader: I got the name of Jake's mom from "Jake of Hearts", and the name of Helen's mom from Kara Wild)

DARREN: Yes, remember the private eye I told you and Quinn that I hired while going on our way to the motel where I stayed at? (Daria nods:) Well, he gave me some basic background info that I had some relatives outside of you guys. What are they like?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Prepare yourself. Grandmas Ruth and Evelyn hadn't seen each other in years, and there's a good reason for that--they couldn't stand one another then when they had first met.

DARREN: (Cocked eyebrow:) Oh? Why's that?

DARIA: (Shrugs:) What else? "Your son/daughter isn't good enough for my son/daughter". Grandma Evelyn at best tolerates dad because she kind of still sees him as the spineless hippie mom had left her family for, and at best tolerates him for mom's sake, while grandma Ruth has never forgiven mom for having the audacity to actually leave the house, and her family, to work. (Smirks some more:) But that's only the beginning. My aunts Rita and Amy are coming, too, and maybe my cousin Erin and her husband Brian will tag along, also. The only one worthy of my attention and respect is my favorite aunt, Amy. By the way, don't call her "Aunt Amy", just "Amy".

DARREN: (Chuckles:) Okay, I will--so why is Amy your favorite aunt?

DARIA: (Sounding a little like admiration:) Well, she doesn't give a damn about what anyone else thinks, like me. Amy takes no crap from anybody, and speaks her mind when she feels like it, and tells it like it is. She told me at Erin's wedding that when she was little, she was largely ignored by my mom and aunt Rita, who went at each other to compete over grandma Evelyn's attention. Amy told me she was left only with color commentary, and then one day, she found herself all grown-up, and taking no B.S. from anyone--ever.

(Note to reader: Of course, this was in "I Don't")

DARREN: (Holds his breath, letting it out slowly, sounding unsure:) Ooooh--I seeee.

DARIA: Ah, don't worry--Amy will probably like you--you're innocent of our family's neurotic tendencies. She likes to use sarcasm just like me to deal with inordinate stupidity when confronted by it. Some in our nutty family say she looks like an older version of me, and with her glasses, I suppose she does. However, I think without her glasses, she looks more like (shudders:) Quinn. Oh well, I guess even our heroes aren't perfect. (Nod to Kara Wild on this one)

DARREN: I guess. (Looks at his wind-up alarm clock on a table beside his bed:) Hmm--it's almost 6:00 a.m. Good time to go jogging right now--its cool in the morning. You jog?

DARIA: Nope. I tried once with Jane, but after dragging myself home, I vowed to never do it again. There's no way in hell I'd want to kill myself that way. A self-inflicted gunshot to the head, yeah--but no jogging.

DARREN: (Laughs:) That's probably because you simply just jumped out there and jogged. Maybe you might want to start slowly and work your way up, you know, stretching and such, then--

DARIA: --Jane told me the same thing, and I told her to go take a hike. You now have the honor of hearing the same thing--go take a hike. (Smirks)

DARREN: (Grins, holds his palms up, facing Daria:) All right, okay! Well, in the meantime, I'll get the feel of the neighborhood, and see you in about an hour, and by that time, you people will be up and about to let me in.

DARIA: All right--and if by some reason mom and dad die between now and then, I'll let you in. (Yawns:) See you then. (Leaves the room)

Darren changed into tan sweatpants and a white cotton short-sleeved shirt, and quietly slipped out the Morgendorffer's home. He stopped on the front steps, put his hands over his eyes to shield them from the glare of the rising sun, and breathed in the morning air. Darren went out on the driveway to stretch his muscles, and after about ten minutes, began to jog.

As he jogged, he took in the sites of this tiny suburban town called Lawndale, being careful to remember exactly where he was going, and looking at the street signs and for any particular landmarks. Darren had a small black pouch on a belt around his waist, facing the front. It contained a tiny amount of change, the map of Lawndale with the Morgendorffer's home street circled, and a slip of paper with the Morgendorffer's phone number, in case he got lost. He noticed that few people were up at this time of the morning, and that was fine by him. Darren needed to think, and with no distractions, he could do so at his leisure. He jogged up to a statue of a bearded man, and noticed the sign in front of it, which said "Village Green". Darren jogged on the sidewalk that encircled the statue, and then stretched some more.

He remembered the call he gave to his aunt the night before, and of her shock after he told her that he was staying with the Morgendorffers--she sounded stunned that they would take him in so quickly. Of course, Darren didn't tell her about his initial impression of them, for fear that she'd scream for him to come home. All he told her was that the Morgendorffers were very nice people who had invited him to stay over their house after they had insisted for him to do so. His aunt had sounded reassured, and said she'd leave for Europe immediately. Darren chuckled to himself over these people who were more than likely his birth family. Helen, the hard-driving attorney and "I-wear-the-pants-in-this-family" mother, who seemed to care more about her job than her family (although Darren was sure this wasn't totally true). Jake, the meek father who appeared to be out of this world (and of reality itself) at times, except when watching over Darren. (Darren shuddered slightly over this thought,) Quinn, the youngest sister who stresses boys, fashion, and popularity over anything else (though perhaps there was more to her than meets the eye).

Then there was Daria. Darren narrowed his eyes when he thought of her. Where to start? She gives the impression that she's above it all, hiding how she really feels behind her sarcasm and (very) dry wit. No facial expressions. No emotions. Very ordinary-looking in appearance and in dress, but highly intelligent. Not popular--in fact the very opposite of Quinn. How to tell what she really thinks? Then it hit him--her writing. The words Daria wrote were powerful and dark, and contained a force that gave him the chills, in fact, the same sort of chill he had received when he saw Doctor Turley on his deathbed. Darren winced silently to himself when he thought about Daria, giving himself a grim chuckle.

Darren finished his stretching, and began to jog around the statue again, this time almost retracing his route on his way back to the Morgendorffers. He rounded a corner that was blocked by a tall hedge of bushes and promptly ran into a man, who was wearing a baby blue sweatsuit, and a woman, who was wearing a pink sweatsuit, and jogging in the other direction. All three fell unto the pavement, and the woman got up and promptly screamed at Darren.

WOMAN: (Definitely PO'd:) You MAN! Can't you watch where you're going?

DARREN: (Flinches back slightly, looking up at her:) Er, sorry, ma'am--I didn't see you!

MAN: (While getting up and offering a hand to Darren, sounding very soft-spoken and timid:) Now, Janet, I'm sure that we were just as much at fault as this young man, if not moreso. (Points to a small sign nearby:) See? It says Joggers-One-Way-Only, and that young man (motions his head in Darren's direction:) was going in the right direction. I'm afraid we were going the wrong way.(Helps Darren up)

JANET: (Slightly calmed down, but still glares at Darren:) He's a MAN! ALL men are always wrong! (Sees the soft-spoken man wilt slightly over her remark, softens her tone for him) Well, maybe not you, "Skinny". (The soft-spoken man gives a "cute" smile to her)

DARREN: (Remembers what Daria told him last night about a "Ms. Barch", carefully chooses his words:) Uh, may I ask you a question, ma'am?

JANET: (Raises her voice back at Darren, which makes him flinch again:) What sort of question, you MAN?! Oh, I see! You're trying to proposition me, aren't you?! All of you men always want to proposition us women, get what you "want", and then spit us out--(points into Darren's chest with every word:) just--like--HIM! (The soft-spoken man watching them both cringes back from her ranting)

DARREN: (Fights against the urge to run from this "she-demon", asks:) No ma'am! It's nothing like that, really! (Looks over at the cringing man, who looks ready to about to cry, points at him) I mean, er, I wouldn't have a chance with him around anyway, right? I just want to know something--(narrows eyes:) is your last name Barch?

JANET: (Now surprised:) Hah? (Frowns:) How did you know my name, you man? (Begins to walk towards Darren meanacingly:) Have you been stalking me?

DARREN: (Backs away calmly, holds up his hands:) No ma'am! It's just that my, uh--sister told me about you, that's all!

JANET: (Still scowls, moves forward:) And who might that be, you man?

DARREN: (Pauses:) Um--Daria Morgendorffer.

Janet Barch and the cringing man looked at each other, stunned, then Ms. Barch turned back to Darren, and really frowned, this time rushing forward towards him.

JANET: Now I know you're lying, you man! Daria Morgendorffer's a student of Timothy O'Neill's and mine, and she has no brothers, only a sister named Quinn! (Takes a swing at Darren, who avoids it, and runs for his life) Come back here, you stalker! (She now chases him)

Darren flew around the corner of a nearby building, with Ms. Barch hot on his heels. Only when he hit the afterburners did he lose her, but not before he heard her shout:

JANET: Wait until I call the police, you scum! There's no place you'll be able to hide from them--or me!

Darren ran wide-eyed, and did not stop until he was sure he had completely lost that woman--and eventually himself. He looked around for any sort of landmark while leaning against a telephone pole, and gasping for breath. He then scratched his head in confusion--he was lost. Darren took out the map of Lawndale from his pouch and spread it out on a nearby bench, slowly tracing his finger from the street where the Morgendorffers lived relative to his current position. He looked around and saw immediately that he was near some shops. Taking the map with him, Darren followed the street until he saw a street sign that said Dega Street. This was Lawndale's dying shopping district, thanks to Cranberry Commons. He folded up the map and put it back in his pouch, and began to make his way back to the Morgendorffers, all the while watching out for that Barch woman. He paused for a second when he thought about that, and chuckled to himself at at the irony--another female was after him--but this time, wanted to hurt him, not try to like him--quite an--interesting change in a way.

(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer's--the same time)

Helen Morgendorffer was preparing to do the unthinkable--take a half-day off from work, her final day working until she and Jake would be off for vacation all of next week. There was so much to do between now and then, with her mother, mother-in-law, and sisters coming over to see Darren, and in that aspect, her house for the first time, save for Amy, Ruth, and her niece Erin, who had been over before. Then she thought about the DNA test she had arranged for her, Jake, and Darren to take at the Cedars of Lawndale Hospital, a test she thought there was no need for, for from the moment she saw Darren standing up and looking at her and Jake in the food court, she knew immediately that this handsome young man was indeed her and Jake's son. Any trace of doubt or skepticism had vanished--those eyes did the trick for her--the type of eyes that only a mother could understand. Helen thought of what her mother, Amy, and Rita would think when they saw Darren, and smirked. Her mother had no sons, of course, and her dad Howard Barksdale had always wanted one, instead getting Amy, and according to Amy, holding it against her.

Then there was Rita. Helen thought about how it seemed how her mother would always favor Rita over her, and all of the fights that would take place between she and her sister. The rivalry was always fierce between the two, vying for their mother's attention, with, from Helen's point of view, Rita coming out on top more than often. Well now, with Darren, the scales could be tipped in her direction, not Rita's. Even with the long talk she and her sisters and mother had had when Helen had separated from Jake for a few days, both still had that rivalry. After all, one simply can't sweep years of resentment under the rug after one talk, right?

(Read Kara Wild's terrific fanfics "The Tie That Chokes" for Amy's visit, and "None In The Family" for Helen's father's name, Amy's claim, and the Barksdale-Morgendorffer women's "talk")

Helen smirked again at this thought while she sat at the table and drank her usual cup of coffee, when her cell phone rang. She clicked the phone on.

HELEN: (In her falsetto voice:) Helloooo?

VOICE: (Sounding soft and hesitant:) H-hello, M-Mrs. Morgendriffer?

Helen frowned. She knew immediately who this voice belonged to, having heard it several times concerning her daughters about school. It represented everything she loathed--slow, and unsure, not knowing how to proceed, easily intimidated--something Helen Morgendorffer vowed she'd never go through again, not since that night she had decided to allow that S.O.B. Turley to "operate" on her after she thought Jake had fainted.

HELEN: (Annoyed:) Hello, Mr. O'Neill, and it is MorgenDORFFER, at least get it right! If this is about Quinn's grades, you'd better have one hell of an explanation as to why you're calling about them now! Why did you wait to say there was a mistake in her passing? You do realize--

MR. O'NEILL: (Cuts her off frantically:) --N-no, no, Mrs. Morgendorffer! It's not about Quinn! I'm calling to ask if you've ever heard of a young man who claims to be your and your husband's son--Daria and Quinn's brother!

HELEN: (Stunned:) H-how did you know about my son, Mr. O'Neill? What in the hell is this all about?!

MR. O'NEILL: (Sounding equally stunned:) Y-you mean that that fellow is your son? B-but how--?

HELEN: (Now furious:) I ASKED you a question, Mr. O'Neill! How did you know about my son?!

MR. O'NEILL: (In his "I'd-better-hurry-up-or-this-woman-will-kill-me" mode:) Eep!I'msorry,Mrs.Morgendorffer!Ms.BarchandIwerejoggingtogetherandweranintothisyoungmanwhoclaimedthatDariawashissister--

HELEN: (Rolls her eyes:) He is Jake and mine's son, Mr. O'Neill, and slow down! You said he was jogging when you and Ms. Barch ran into him?

MR. O'NEILL: (Now a bit calmer:) Y-yes, Mrs. Morgendorffer! B-but I-I don't understand--

HELEN: It's quite a long story, Mr. O'Neill, one I can't tell to you over the phone. Now, what happened to him?

MR. O'NEILL: W-well, Mrs. Morgendorffer, after we ran into him, I helped him up. M-Ms. Barch, w-who's standing here beside me at the telephone booth, g-got angry with him, and--(voice changes)

MS. BARCH: (Sounding a bit apologetic:) --I thought he was trying to proposition me because he told me my last name, and I'd never seen him before. He said that Daria was his sister, and I said that Daria never had a brother. I--swung at him, but he avoided me, and ran away. I chased him a little bit, but I lost him. I was going to call the police, but Skin--I mean, Mr. O'Neill, wanted me to call your house first to see if that young man's claim was true. (Pauses:) He really is your son?

HELEN: (Sighs, tries to remain calm:) Yes, Ms. Barch, he is, or I assume will be after my husband and I take a DNA test with him later today. I only hope he didn't get lost.

MS. BARCH: I'm so sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer. Mr. O'Neill and I plan to resume our jog and keep an eye out for that MAN--I mean, your son. Is there anything we can do?

HELEN: (Thought v.o.: Haven't you done enough, man-hater?) No, no--wait. Maybe you can do something. I'd like to ask you and Mr. O'Neill to keep quiet over what you heard concerning our son. My husband and I want no unnecessary gossip to spread around the area, and we want to break the news to everyone on our own terms--will you please do that?

MS. BARCH: Of course, dearie--it's the least we can do. (Pauses:) I have one question to ask, though--what is your son's name, in case we spot him while we're out?

HELEN: (Sounding relieved:) His name is Darren. Thank you, Ms. Barch, goodbye.

MS. BARCH: Darren--goodbye, Mrs. Morgendorffer. (Hangs up)

Helen clicked off her cell phone and sat down at the table a little worried. She thought about telling Jake, who, like her was getting ready to work a half-day, but she held back out of knowing that he'd go berserk, and tear out of the house looking for Darren, the last thing any of them would need right now. She narrowed her eyes, deep in thought. Helen considered that her son seemed to be a responsible young man, and there was no need to panic, at least not yet. She decided to wait at least for at least about twenty minutes, then alert the others. About this time, Jake walked into the kitchen tying his necktie, getting some coffee.

JAKE: (Excited:) Hi, honey! (Bends down to kiss Helen's cheek:) Today's the day we get that DNA test thingy! Are ya ready, Helen?

HELEN: (Tries to sound calm, covers her nervousness to keep Jake in the dark:) What? Oh yes, Jakey. It's a big day, today, yes indeed.

JAKE: (Narrows his eyes:) Say, honey, you okay? I heard the phone ringing when I was changing in my clothes in our bedroom, and I knew you were downstairs and let you get it. Something wrong? Who was on the phone?

HELEN: (Widens her eyes:) It was a--wrong number, Jakey, and nothing's wrong with me! I'm just--a little nervous about the test we're taking today, that's all. I suppose the phone suddenly ringing like that made me a little--jumpy.

JAKE: (Sits down beside Helen, puts his arm around her:) Aw, it's all right, Helen. You're the one who said he's our son, and after looking at him myself, I can see that you're right! That test is just a mere formality. (Chuckles:) Don't tell me you've gotten second thoughts?

HELEN: (With a quick glare at Jake:) No, of course not, Jake. I'm just thinking--(changes the subject:) about, uh--next week, you know, with our mothers, my sisters, and Erin and Brian coming over, and how we'll have to handle the expected chaos over our mothers coming together, and all that.

JAKE: (Waves Helen off:) Oh--well now, I wouldn't worry too much over that, honey. I'm guessing Darren might be able to help everybody come together and stuff. When our mothers take one look at him, they'll go ga-ga!

HELEN: (Glances at the front door in the living room, expecting to see Darren at any moment:) I suppose they will, Jakey--I suppose they will.

Darren had finally found his way back to the Morgendorffer's, although he had to go around the way he came through before because of that Barch woman. He was into his jogging regimen again and had spotted the Morgendorffer home base, when a beat-up, smoking, early-70's model blue Pinto came driving past him, leaving him in a cloud of smoke, gas, and oil fumes. He coughed and waved his hands, trying to fan the smoke away from him. Darren noticed that the car pulled in front of the Morgendorffer's, and a young man with not-quite shoulder-length brown hair got out of the car. Though he couldn't see the man from a distance too clearly, the man looked worried. Darren picked up his pace going back.

Helen suddenly heard the doorbell ring. Jake had went back upstairs to finish getting ready for work, so she wouldn't have to worry about him seeing her reaction over Darren coming back. She felt relieved--her baby was okay. Helen rushed to the front door, and reached out to hug and kiss her son.

HELEN: (Sobs slightly, eyes closed:) Oh, son! It's okay! You're home, now! (Kissing the person she thinks is Darren's cheeks)

TOM: (Eyes wide open over Helen's fierce hug and cheek kisses:) Mrs. Morgendorffer! Stop! What are you doing?! (Helen's eyes open, grow even bigger than Tom's, and she draws back, horrified)

Darren saw the woman who could be his birth mother hug and kiss this stranger. What in the hell was going on?

Jake, who had come out of his room with his briefcase, and Daria, who along with Quinn were in their nightclothes, had come out of their rooms and had met their father in the hallway, and then came down the stairs. They became stunned at what they saw. What in the hell was going on?

JAKE: (Grows furious:) What-the-hell--?

QUINN: (Frowns in disgust:) EWWWWWW!

DARIA: (Stunned for an instant, then smirks while coming down the stairs with Quinn and Jake:) Now, how long has this been going on? What will Jane think? Mom, I didn't know you had it in you! (Begins singing in her sarcastic tone, Mona Lisa smile:) Mom and Tom, sitting in a tree--

HELEN & TOM: (Both frantically waving their arms, hollering over each other, Tom wiping his cheeks:) NO, NO! It's not what you think! No way in hell--(both look at each other, red-faced:) no offense! I only like Jane! Jake, I only love you! Nothing happened!

HELEN: (Quickly steps in front of an angry Jake, who's coming down the stairs past Daria and Quinn, and staring daggers at a frightened Tom:) Take it easy Jake! I thought Tom was Darren!

DARREN: (Looks in the doorway:) That was for me?

HELEN: (Sees Darren, delighted:) Oh, son! Thank God you're okay! (Runs forward and hugs him, but leaves Tom er, defenseless)

TOM: (Eyes really wide open now, because Jake isn't stopping, looks at Helen frantically:) Uh, Mrs. Morgendorffer, help me!

HELEN: (Takes her attention away from Darren, frowns at Jake:) JAKE! GET A GRIP!

DARIA: (Steps up:) Um, you know, Mom, for some reason that I can't quite gasp, I kind of think that is the worse possible thing you can say to Dad at this critical moment in time--

JAKE: (Suddenly snaps out of his rage just as he was about to put his hands around Tom's neck:) Huh? (Sees Darren, grins:) Oh, hi, Big Guy! Been joggin', huh? (Tom wipes his head in relief, sighs)

DARREN: Uh, yes I have. (Looks down at Helen:) Ah, why the sudden show of affection?

HELEN: Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Barch called me this morning and told me you ran into them while jogging. Ms. Barch said she swung at you because she thought you had propositioned her--

DARIA: (More smirking:) --Wow, Darren, first Mom and Tom, and now you and Ms. Barch? I guess love is truly in the air-- (Darren snickers at this, while Helen and Tom scowl at Daria, red-faced again--even Quinn tries not to laugh, while Jakes stares at Darren like a grinning idiot again)

HELEN: --DARIA! (Looks back at Darren:) Anyway, she said you ran off and out of sight, and I thought you might've gotten lost or something. I decided to wait for a little to see if you came in, which you did.

JAKE: (Snaps out of his "trance", inquisitive:) Hey, Helen! You told me that phone call was a wrong number this morning, not Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill!

HELEN: (Sighs, goes up to Jake, puts her hand on his chest:) I'm sorry, Jakey. I didn't want you to be worried--

DARIA: (Deadpan:) --Or driving out on the street like a madman looking for Darren--(Helen glares at Daria) what? (Looks at Tom, motions to him to follow her into the den:) C'mon, Tom--I've got the feeling that you've come to talk to me, am I right?

TOM: (While following Daria:) Er, yeah, Daria--did I just hear your parents say that this guy "Darren" is--

DARIA: --Their son and mine and Quinn's bro? Uh-huh, just about--it's kind of a long story. I'll explain in our den, and tell you about Jane's call to me last night. (Both she and Tom disappear in the den)

DARREN: (Looks at Helen:) Actually, I did get lost--for a few minutes, anyway. But I had the map of Lawndale in my pouch here, (pulls out map to show Helen, Jake, and Quinn:) and I read it, followed it, and it turned out okay.

QUINN: (Walks up to Darren:) Darren, can we go out today? We can go to eat out at Chez Pierre, and--

HELEN: (Glares at Quinn:) --Now Ouinn, Your father and I are going with Darren to the hospital about 1:30 today for the test. He won't be able to eat lunch with you at Chez Pierre.

QUINN: (Rolls her eyes:) MUH--OOOM! You and dad won't be with Darren at the hospital all day, right? Darren and I can go after you get back --

HELEN: (No-nonsense tone:) --And ruin your appetite for dinner? I don't think so, young lady!

DARREN: (Looks over at Quinn:) Hey, it's okay, Quinn--we can go to eat at this "Chez Pierre" early next week, or whenever. How about you, me, and Daria go out to eat lunch before I go to the hospital? You know, a cafe or something?

QUINN: (Disappointed, but somewhat pacified:) Oh, okay. (Thinks:) I guess we can go to that Pizza King place that Daria and her weirdo friend Jane go to, and I can get cheeseless pizza, or something.

HELEN: (Satisfied:) Good. You and Daria can bond with Darren, and then he can take you two with him to the hospital. (Looks at her watch:) Oh! I'm late! (Gets her briefcase that was lying near the door:) I'll see you later at the hospital, Jakey, Darren, Quinn. (Leaves out the front)

JAKE: (Looks at his watch, too:) Yipes! I gotta go, too! Take it easy, you two! (Snatches up his briefcase, and leaves, shuts the door)

QUINN: (Stretches, yawns:) Gee, I'm still tired, Darren. (Goes to kitchen, followed by Darren)

DARREN: (Smirks:) Maybe you wouldn't feel so tired, Quinn, if you excercise and jog.

Quinn and Darren entered the kitchen.

QUINN: Jog? (Shudders:) EEEW! I'd get hot n'sweaty n' stuff! Sweat does not look good on the fashionably correct. It's so--icky. Besides, I watch my weight by eating right and stuff. (Opens refrigerater door, gets out fruit and a diet soda:) See? This is all I need for breakfast. (Sits down at the table while Darren gets a bowl and pours out some cereal, then sits at the table with Quinn)

DARREN: (Shrugs, sits down at the table:) Suit yourself. I meant to tell you about going to the Fashion Institute--you need a good grade point average to get in, Quinn. What was it in high school this year?

Quinn moaned--this was not a good sign to Darren, who cocked an eyebrow in curiousity.

(Scene changes to the den, about 10 minutes later)

Daria had explained to Tom the story about Darren. Tom, of course was just as shocked as she thought he'd be.

TOM: That's--incredible!

DARIA: Yeah, I know--instant brother--maybe. (Changes subject abruptly:) Look, before you ask, Jane called me last night. (Narrows her eyes:) I was able to convince her to give you another chance, and you damn well better make the most of it, because I'm not gonna keep trying to put you both together.

TOM: (Grows quiet:) Yeah, I see your point. It was stupid of me to think that Jane doesn't take her art seriously, dismissing the argument like that.

DARIA: She also said that you control her.

TOM: (Raises an eyebrow:) What? Hey, I want what Jane wants! I don't control her! Where'd she get that? What in the world is she seeing?

DARIA: (Rolls her eyes:) Hey, we girls see things you guys don't. Maybe if you looked through her eyes, you'd see what she sees. (Pauses, hesitates:) Look, Tom--I'm going to ask you to do one thing for me concerning what's going on between you and Jane.

TOM: And that is---?

DARIA: (Sighs:) Leave me out of it from now on, okay? This isn't the "Dating Game", and I'm not the host. (Goes into a dark tone:) You've gotten one more chance, mister--make it count. Call her tonight.

TOM: (Considers the tone of Daria's words:) Okay, fair enough--no more dragging you in the middle of our problems, Daria. I know you've done more than enough, and I want to thank you for that.

DARIA: (Smiles slightly at him, catches herself, then suddenly frowns:) As you damn well should, Tom. Jane's my friend, and I don't want to see her hurt.

TOM: Don't worry, Daria--I'd never willingly hurt Jane--

DARIA: (Cocks eyebrow:) --Or otherwise unwillingly, right?

TOM: (Chuckles softly:) Right. (Pauses:) I'd better get to work, then. See you.

DARIA: Okay, then, and good luck--break a leg. (Thought v.o.: Just--just don't break a damn heart.)

Tom and Daria came out of the den just as Quinn and Darren were coming out of the kitchen.

QUINN: (Frowns:) I have to have at least a "B" average to get in? That's not fair! I'd have to be like a freakin' brain to do that!

DARREN: Sorry, Quinn--that's what I heard about enrolling in the Fashion Institute. We can get into their website later on your laptop and see what they have in their curriculum.

QUINN: (Looks down, pouts:) Oh, all right.

TOM: Hello, Darren. (Extends hand)

DARREN: (Shakes Tom's hand:) Hello, Tom--nice to meet you, although it was under less than--ideal circumstances. (Grins)

TOM: (Grins as well:) Sorry you thought I was making a "move" on your mom.

Darren stopped for a brief moment and thought about Tom's seemingly innocuous remark. His mom? They would all find out later if this were true--for the moment, he let it slide, and spoke.

DARREN: No problem--I don't think she was your "type", anyway.

DARIA: (Smirks, looks at Tom:) Hey, if you and Jane can't work out your differences, maybe my mom will be available for a torrid affair.

TOM: (Rolls his eyes:) No offense, but that'll be the day. See you all.

DARIA: Adios. (Opens door for Tom, who leaves, then shuts the door, gives a little sigh:) And that is that.

QUINN: (Disgusted look:) Ugh! Jane sure knows how to pick 'em, huh?

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Look who's talking. You pick guys about as often as a snot-covered booger is picked out of a nose --by anybody--at anytime. MMM-yum! Brown gold, Texas-tee! (Darren tries to hold it in, but to no avail, for he's laughing out loud)

QUINN: (Now so disgusted, she dosen't notice Darren's reaction:) EWWWWWWW! You're gross, Daria! I'm gettin' out of here! (Goes upstairs)

DARIA: (Smirks:) I've done it again--Quinn has been driven away. Damn, I'm good. (Looks at a still-laughing Darren:) I do hope I've started your day right, bro--Ms. Barch's little "chase" notwithstanding.

DARREN: (Tries to control his laughing:) O-oh I'm g-getting there, Daria. When do you want to leave for the Lane's?

DARIA: Let me change out of my pajamas, shower, and I'll be ready in an hour. I'll use the master bath in mom and dad's room.

DARREN: Okay, and I'll use the guest bath--(stops, realizes something, his smile slowly fades, looks directly at Daria:) uh, Daria--?

DARIA: Huh? What is it?

DARREN: (Hesitates:) Ah, I don't know if you noticed this or not--but, well--you just called me, uh--your "bro".

Daria's eyes grew wide in realization--Darren was right. She did call him that--and it seemed to come out in a casual way, like it was always so. What just got into her? Why did she say that? For a rare moment, Daria felt exposed, as if her inner weakness had been torn away--she considered herself fortunate that Darren did not know her that well--if it had been Jane, she'd die of embarassment, not that she wasn't feeling it now, at least a little. She quickly developed an excuse to cover herself.

DARIA: (Shrugs, gives a quick little smile:) Well, uh--why not? If Quinn can get away with calling you that, and mom and dad can get away with calling you their son, then I might as well get with the program too. (Turns around quickly:) See you in a few--er, bro. (Leaves up the stairs quickly)

Darren stared up at the stairs for a moment, then slowly smiled. He then started up the stairs as well. He did not know that Daria had quickly went into her room, leaned against her closed door, completely red-faced, and relieved to get past the moment, taking deep breaths.

(Scene changes to the Appleton Tower, the same time)

William Appleton stood in the middle of his office, a large, opulent area with a huge oak desk and a white Persian rug in front of the desk. There were two white leather couches that sat perpendicular to the desk in the front of it, and both couches were on either side of the rug, which lay on the black plushy carpet of the entire office floor. Sitting on the rug was an ivory coffee table, and on the table was a silver tray with a silver pot full of tea, some biscuits, and sugar. The walls that surrounded the office on three sides were made of white marble, with tall oak bookcases full of books on two of the walls, and a small oak conference table with four chairs along the other wall. The remaining wall was of tinted glass, with a breathtaking view of the New York City skyline. The office's fluorescent lighting was turned down so that the light that had shown through from the outside was the predominant light. Benny, who was writing on a pad, was sitting on one of the couches, listening to William, who in turn was staring out of the window across his desk.

WILLIAM: (Deep in thought:) --Yes, Benny, Leonard Potter has to be dealt with as soon as possible. I'm sick and tired of his damn legalistic company nonsense. Every time I make a move, he sticks his nose in, and says (in a mocking tone:) "We can't do this, we can't do that". I think a transfer way out to our West coast branch will do him some good, as well as us, and then we can put our own legal man in.

BENNY: I'm on it, Boss. (Smirks:) That stiff jerk's as good as gone, but--(hesitates, while William cuts his eyes back to Benny) do you think he'll go willingly, Boss? He might fight it. (William grins at this)

WILLIAM: Let him. My dream would be to see Leonard quit in protest, but I'll guess that he'd fight it, not that it will do him any good, because we have an opening in the legal department out there that needs to be filled, and I can say that he's the only one that can fill it, based on his experience. If he fights it, I'm within my power to fire that bastard. Either way, I can't lose.

BENNY: (Grins wickedly:) Shrewd, Boss. (Looks down at some notes on the coffee table:) The energy division chief should be up here soon for that meeting she wants.

WILLIAM: (Scowls, sits down in the couch opposite of Benny:) That damn know-it-all shrew. I hope she says she can't sell those two nuclear plants so I can fire her. (Looks at Benny with a bit of a reflective look on his face:) You know, Benny--I miss the good old days, when women knew their place, stayed at home, and laid up and had the babies. They'd cook our food, washed our clothes, and raised our children. (Shakes his head slowly:) Damn, I'm glad I didn't marry in this day and age, or ever. My wife would run everything, and I'd have to cower at every rant she'd make. It would have been pathetic--hell, I'd have no backbone, because if I'd ever laid a hand on her in anger, I'd be in jail so fast, my head would spin.

BENNY: (Nods his head, grows quiet:) Yeah, Boss--those were the days.

The intercom on William's desk buzzed, and his secretary came on the speaker.

SECRETARY: Mr. Appleton, Ms. Constance Waters is here.

WILLIAM: (Gets up with Benny:) Very good, send her in.

The secretary opened the door, and Constance Waters walked in holding a folder. She had been in the divisional meeting a few days before, the one division chief that had stood up to William. Constance had a confident air about her, dressed in a blue power suit, with deep brown eyes, and had brown and gray-streaked, shoulder-length hair. Her face was rather youthful-looking, with what William would classify as something of a--smirk? Could it be--?

CONSTANCE: Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, William. (Shakes his hand)

WILLIAM: Well, I was rather curious as to why you'd insist on meeting me so quickly after our divisional meeting. (Manages a faux smile:) Don't tell me you've already sold those plants, eh?

CONSTANCE: (Definitely smirks even more now:) Okay, I won't tell you, William.

WILLIAM: (Eyes grow as big as saucers:) Y-you DID? (Pauses, narrows his eyes at her:) Did you sell them at a profit?

CONSTANCE: (Gives William the folder:) See for yourself. (William looks in the folder) Fuju, a Japanese energy subsidiary of Tsunama, bought both, and intend to convert them to garbage-burning plants. (Smiles:) Not only that, but they intend to share the cost of converting it with us in return for our investment in Tsunama--we will have a 50% share of it--pending approval from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Federal Trade Commission.

WILLIAM: (Stunned with Benny:) W-what? H-how? Appleton's been trying for years to get in that area of the Asian market! (Looks in the folder again, with an equally-stunned Benny looking over his shoulder)

CONSTANCE: Simple. As I said before, we'd help them convert--for a share of their head company, Tsumana. Garbage-burning plants are very profitable these days, and Fuju wanted a share in the American market as well, so we stepped in their market, and they stepped in ours. I'd like to add we came out ahead in making a profit--at least a 33% profit margin for us in terms of investing in their market verses the cost of helping them convert our two plants. Their chairman will be here next week to sign the agreement with you. (William looks up slowly from the folder, with a strained look on his face)

WILLIAM: (Shakes his head slowly, faux impressed:) Well, I must say, Constance, I am pleased with this. (Shakes her hand:) Good work, good work indeed. You, of course, will be there for the signing?

CONSTANCE: (Smirks:) Of course. Now, if there's anything else--?

WILLIAM: (Distracted:) Eh? Oh, no--no, not anything else. Get in touch with my secretary, and I'll see you then. Benny, see Constance out, will you?

BENNY: (Follows Constance:) Sure thing, Boss.

CONSTANCE: Until then--goodbye. (Benny opens door, she leaves office, Benny shuts door behind her)

William stared at the door for a moment more, then scowled.

WILLIAM: (Through clenched teeth, throws his arms in the air:) DAMN, DAMN, DAMN! Hell, Benny--I couldn't get Tsunama, but Constance could? What does she have that I don't?

BENNY: (Shrugs:) Beats the hell out of me, Boss--but so what? Appleton will come out on top, and you'll get the credit.

WILLIAM: (Glares at Benny, who cowers:) That's not the point, you idiot! When the Board and the stockholders hear of this, Constance will score some damn brownie points with them! Hell, she may even challenge my control someday! (Slumps down at his desk, dejected)

BENNY: (In a condescending tone:) Boss, maybe you should take it easy--

WILLIAM: (In a low tone:) --Get out, and leave me alone, Benny.

BENNY: (Narrows his eyes, strains to hear:) Sorry, Boss, but what'd you say?

WILLIAM: (Now enraged, gets up out of his seat:) I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!

Benny cringed back, and immediately left out.

William slouched back in his chair, and looked out at the city.

WILLIAM: (Thought v.o.: No one's going to take Appleton from me--NO one!)

(End of Part Two)