Chapter 12 - Equal and Opposite Reactions

(The Morgendorffer's residence, about 15 minutes later)

Darren came up the the front door, full of anxiety. What would he say now? How would his birth family react to his disclosure that he liked Jane, and she him? He visualized the anticipated reactions--a stunned Helen and Jake asking questions, like, "Why Jane? Doesn't she like Tom?" Quinn--Darren could only imagine her anger and disgust--something like, "EWWWW--how could you like a loser like Jane?", or, "How could you do this to me?", or, "Now I can never show my face in the Fashion Club again!" He chuckled quietly at that thought.

Then there was Daria--Darren had told her that he couldn't possibly do anything with Jane--she was Daria's best friend, the same for Jane saying Darren was Daria's brother. What a classic case of self-denial, old boy. What would she say about him and Jane seeing each other? Darren sighed--this was not going to go well no matter how he put it to the Morgendorffers. At least there was one good thing about all of this--Darren telling his birth family about Jane would be a good test case for seeing their "reactions" prior to his telling them later that his last name isn't "Coverton", but "Appleton". Of course, he couldn't do that until this "Sanchez" character was caught and could point out who hired him to murder Darren's adopted parents--telling anyone else could drag then into this, and possibly put them in danger. He narrowed his eyes, deep in thought, as something else entered his mind--how would Jane react to his saying he was an Appleton? He suspected that she would be more forgiving, knowing why he had hid saying anything--of course, he couldn't be too sure. For all Darren knew, Jane could side with Daria, and--stop thinking, Darren--get in there and tell them about this sudden thing that's occurred between you and Jane. He rang the doorbell and took a deep breath.

The door opened, and Daria stood there while holding her pen and pad under her arm, a cup of coffee in her other hand, showing her usual expressionless look, and still dressed in her nightclothes. She stood aside and let Darren by, then followed him into the living room. Darren looked uncomfortably at her--something Daria caught onto almost immediately. She cocked an eyebrow at him, curious.

DARREN: (Sounding uneasy:) Thanks for letting me in, sis. (Looks around:) It's a little after noon--(chuckles:) anyone other than Quinn up yet?

DARIA: No problem. Everybody's still in hibernation as far I can tell--you got in just in time right after the "noon" curfew. (Pauses:) So, what's up, bro? (Smirks:) You look like you've done something wrong that you feel kind of guilty about--there may be hope for you yet. (Darren gives a lopsided smile at Daria)

DARREN: (Sighs:) I guess you can kind of say that I am feeling guilty, Daria--(pauses:) I just hope you can understand what I'm about to tell you, because I guess I'm still trying to understand it myself.

DARIA: Ah, now you've gotten me intrigued--(pauses:) hold it--you just came from Jane's. Does your feeling "guilty" have something to do with her? (Darren gives a slow nod, and Daria sighs:) Hey, don't tell me that after your talk with her you're still feeling like that kiss was your fault. I kind of thought from your call to me this morning that you two were past that.

DARREN: (Looks for words:) Well--uh, Daria--Jane and I--didn't get past the kissing incident. (Daria raises her eyebrows in surprise:) In fact, (chuckles uneasily:) we kind of--well--uh--(voice gets very low, looks away, talks quickly:) did some more of it.

Daria looked stunned--or as stunned as Daria could get if one could tell. Did she just hear her brother say--nah--she must have misheard him, that's it--got to be.

DARIA: (Slight smirk:) Hmm--you almost had me there, bro. (Darren frowns slightly at Daria, perplexed) For a second there, I thought I heard you say that you and Jane kissed again. Nice joke.

DARREN: (Now looking and sounding completely sincere, totally serious:) Daria--I'm quite serious. Jane and I, well, did kiss each other again, and we're kind of--attracted to one another. There, I said it. (Daria's eyes light up)

Daria was about to say something when there was a collective gasp from behind them the very next instant, and Daria and Darren turned around. At the foot of the stairs in their nightclothes, Helen, Jake, and Quinn looked at both of them, completely wide-eyed, with their mouths agape, and were flabbergasted.

(Scene changes to the Appleton Towers, the same time, in William Appleton's office)

Called in for a "special" Sunday meeting, Constance Waters stood in the middle of William's office with her arms crossed, her face a mask of fury. William Appleton, who was sitting behind his desk, leaned back in his chair with his hands in a prayer-like position up to his chin, looking at her calmly. On his right side, Benny was giving her a neutral look. On William's left side was a nervous-looking Sam Norwood.

CONSTANCE: (Frowns:) What in the hell do you mean, "You're needed in Japan?" I thought we were going to get someone else to head our operations concerning our share of Tsunama/Fuju!

WILLIAM: (Cocks a menacing eyebrow for a second, then faux smiles:) Now, calm down, Constance--after careful consideration on my part, and since you're the one who spearheaded this fabulous deal, I thought you'd jump at the chance to to go there! After all, no one else is available--

CONSTANCE: (Widens her eyes in disbelief, cuts him off:) --What do you mean, "No one else is available"? How about (counts on her fingers:) Wild? Forman? Berry? Hass? Bronstein? That Bob what's-his-name? Neilson? Don't you dare tell me that Long or Takis is unavailable--and I know for a fact that either Kilner or Fox, or even Marley, and that--that--"paperpusher", Rich--

WILLIAM: (Now cuts her off, rises out of his seat, glares:) --Enough, Constance! If you can't do the job--

CONSTANCE: (Narrows her eyes and clenches her teeth, slams her hand on the desk, which causes everyone but William to jump:) --Oh, no you don't--that "job" line won't work here! I did my "job" with selling the nuclear plants, and then went way beyond that with Tsumana/Fuju! I've gotten entirely too much work here to simply drop and go over to Japan to oversee those operations! (Pauses, realizes:) You've become brazen in trying to get rid of me, even if you know that the Board might do something if you try, haven't you, William? I heard through the grapevine that I represent something of a "threat" to your Chairmanship like Potter did--only worse--(sneers:) right?

William's eyes grew extremely big, clenched his teeth, and he gave a glare that could've obliterated a planet to Constance, who suddenly had the feeling that she had just said the wrongest possible thing. Both Benny and Sam cut their eyes at William, privately terrified. The tension in the air became almost unbearable for a moment, then William spoke while slowly leaning on his desk by his hands, still standing, and pointedly looking at Constance, smirking wickedly.

WILLIAM: (In a dark tone:) Think what you want, Constance--it makes no damn difference to me one way or the other. The fact of the matter is, is that I'm the Chairman, and I'm in a good position to present my reasons to send you to Japan to the Board, and you don't. Go to the Board. Go to our shareholders. You have the right to do whatever you think is best. (Pauses, then his voice takes on an even darker tone, now with no expression on his face:) But make no mistake, my dear--if you "think" that you can take my position, then I'd suggest that that is all you can do about it--"think". Do not delude yourself as to assume that I'll go "gentle into that good night", because if you ever do, that will be your first--if not your last mistake--count on it.

Constance looked at William, stunned. Did he just threaten to--? She glanced at Benny Lodell, who simply kept a poker face while looking at her, and at Sam Norwood, who was sneaking a peek at the ceiling nervously. She thought carefully for a second before she spoke her next words, not entirely sure if William actually was serious.

CONSTANCE: (Keeping up a brave front:) I-I never said that I wanted the Chairmanship that you have, William--there's no need for threats from you--

WILLIAM: (Cuts her off, slightly lessening his dark tone, still with the expressionless face:) --Or you, Constance. We're a team here, and if you're not with the program, then you're in the way. (Narrows his eyes:) Are you going to help or hinder us by challenging my authority? I am your superior, and you are my subordinate. (Pauses:) The choice is yours.

Constance swallowed the rage she felt, and decided that the professional thing to do was to wait for William to dig his own grave--something she figured that Leonard Potter was waiting for William to do while in Los Angeles. She guessed that she could win this dispute if she brought it up before the Board of Directors, but it could be a costly one, for a strong possibility existed that there would then be a split within the ranks (Constance had much support in the conglomerate and on the Board--almost as much as William himself, thanks to Tsunama/Fuju), and it was possible that lingering bitterness could erupt from any possible infighting that could occur, thus possibly hurting the company--and morale as well, not to mention the negative publicity that could do damage to the conclomerate concerning the stock market, and its shareholders. She suspected that William knew this--that she was a team player, and would not upset the goal in mind. Shrewd move, William, appealing to my sense of teamwork like that--you win--for now.

CONSTANCE: (After pondering, sighs, speaks in a low, resigned tone:) Very well, William--I'll pack, and leave as soon as possible.

WILLIAM: (Grins, triumphant:) Excellent, Constance--you have two days to pack. I'll contact Brault and Williams to share in the workload in taking care of your energy position, and I'll get Grenier and Morgan to fill in their positions. (Walks around the desk still grinning, puts his arm around Constance's shoulder, something that momentarily frightens her for some reason, and leads her to the door:) Call me when you're packed, and we'll go over the final paperwork with Yee and Daoren when you leave, okay? (Pauses, gently but firmly turns Constance to face him, looks down at her directly in the eyes, smirks coldly:) Now, I'm going to assume that if anyone asks about why you're going to move to Japan, that you'll tell them you decided of your own volition to go and personally oversee our operations in Tsumana/Fuju--no need to let everyone think that you're going over there because I "pressured" you to, right?

CONSTANCE: (After giving a quick, unreadable glare at William, in a curt response:) No, of course not, William. If anyone asks, I'll tell them that I'm going because the company--(hesitates:) needs me over there.

WILLIAM: (Gives a cold grin, squeezes Constance's shoulder:) Spendid! (Opens door:) Goodbye, my dear--enjoy your trip!

CONSTANCE: (While walking out, in a cold tone:) William. (William shuts the door behind her)

William went back to his desk and sat down expressionessly. Sam Norwood had formed a big grin on his face, astounded, and spoke.

NORWOOD: Boss, that was--was--incredible! You sure put that Waters witch in her place, and--

WILLIAM: (Cuts him off, frowns:) --Have you found any legal loopholes that will give me the Chairmanship of Appleton Industries free and clear as of yet, Sam?

NORWOOD: (Now looks foolish, stutters:) W-well, uh, I'm s-still looking, Boss. I haven't f-found anything yet, but--

WILLIAM: (Now snarls:) --THEN DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO KEEP LOOKING UNTIL YOU DO, YOU NITWIT?! (Norwood cowers, and rushes out of the office, slams the door behind him in his haste)

Benny gulped as William turned slowly to him.

WILLIAM: (Narrows his eyes:) Is everything set with the Woo situation, Benny?

BENNY: (Fights back his nervousness:) Y-yeah, Boss--our man told me yesterday that he sucessfully planted that super-sensitive bug in the reception area of Woo's office. He's reported that no one has come in this morning, and that Woo and the people that work for him probably won't until tomorrow. He has a monitoring system in his car, and is currently right outside of Woo's office, (pauses, looks terrified when William glares at him:) I-I mean, on the next street over, Boss--listening in.

WILLIAM: (Now looks off into space:) Tell him to stay all day today, Benny--I want to keep a constant watch on him and his men--no need to take any chances that someone might come in and we miss anything, eh? (Benny nods) Good. (Rocks back and forth in his chair:) Now, we've got to locate Sanchez--(cocks an eyebrow:) anything on that yet, Benny?

BENNY: Nothing yet, Boss--it's almost as if he's vanished into thin air, or something. After he had called me about the second part of the payment pending the results of the NTSB findings, I thought for sure he'd call back by now. (Pauses:) I guess he's not taking any chances on someone connecting him to the crash, eh, Boss?

WILLIAM: As he damn well better not do, Benny--still, best not take anything for granted. The next time he calls, I want to know immediately where he is. That way, we can keep an eye on him in case he tries something funny.

BENNY: (Cocks an eyebrow:) You really think Sanchez could double-cross us, Boss? I mean, wouldn't he be in as much trouble as we'd be if he were caught?

WILLIAM: (Sighs--gives a "Benny's not getting it again" look:) Benny, if for some reason Sanchez is somehow or another discovered by the police to have a hand in what happened to my dear brother and sister-in-law, he could turn state's evidence against us, and make a deal with the district attorney, getting some sort of immunity agreement, or getting little time in jail, and putting our fat in the fire. Also, remember that Sanchez was arrested for extortion--(glares at Benny as if he wants to say something else, but decides not to:) as one of his many--violations. He could try and extort more money from us--(narrows his eyes:) not that he'd ever even dare try to do something as stupid as that--I just want to make sure that he's under wraps. (Grins wickedly:) Of course, we might have to get rid of him anyway if he becomes a--problem. (Looks out of the window)

BENNY: Boss, with Constance gone for awhile, wouldn't that just leave--

WILLIAM: (While still looking out:) --Outside of finding Sanchez, my "nephew" to possibly stand in my way? Here is where Sam Norwood had better find something to get Darren out of the way, legally if possible--if not, I'm going to have to--force the issue with my "so-called" nephew, especially if he's involved in trying to discover if I was the one who ordered his "parents" deaths. (Cuts his eyes over to Benny:) Is that man that I wanted on standby to spy on Darren ready to go at a moment's notice?

BENNY: Yeah, Boss--just give the word, and he'll go immediately to this "Lawndale" place.

WILLIAM: (Resumes looking out over the city:) Good--still, I don't want him to just sit around and twiddle his thumbs while we waste money on paying him--tell him to get some information on these Morgendweefers, you know, just call someone--

BENNY: (Releuctantly interrupts William:) --Er, Boss--I--think its MorgendOFFERS--

WILLIAM: (Casts a quick, vicious glare at a now-slightly cowering Benny, talks through clenched teeth:) --Morgendorffers, Benny--(resumes his normal voice:) like where they work and live in this "Lawndale" place. We know that Darren's birth mother is a lawyer, and his birth father is a marketing consultant, or something. (Pauses:) See if our man can find out anything on Darren's sisters as well--we might need them all as some sort of--"insurance" in dealing with my "nephew".

BENNY: Okay, Boss. (Leaves the office)

(Scene is back at the Morgendorffers, the same time)

Darren had just told everyone of Jane's kiss in the Zen, (After all, he couldn't deny it now, could he?) and why she had done it, and the events of the morning that led up to both he and Jane kissing each other again. (Including finally, the death of his fiancee, Stephanie Reardon.) After the initial shock and expressions of condolences from Helen, Jake, and Quinn over Stephanie, (Daria had wisely said nothing about Darren telling her earlier, so as not to give the others the impression that Darren had "favored" Daria over them by confining his secret pain to her first) Darren's guesses about what would happen when Helen, Jake, and Quinn found out about Jane were largely true, as Helen was pacing back and forth in the living room along with an equally-worried Quinn, and Jake standing off to the side with a nervous look on his face, more than likely because of Jake's fears over how Helen would react. Daria had sat down beside Darren on the middle couch while all of this was going on, and simply watched her mother and sister with her usual "expressionless expression", and had not said a word--Darren couldn't tell from Daria's reaction about his liking Jane--as if. He then watched his birth mother and sister with an intrigued expression as they paced. Helen, (as well as Quinn) had stopped, and looked at Darren with an expression of disbelief, then spoke.

HELEN: Darren--(hesitates:) are you sure about Jane? (Daria, not Darren, cocks an eyebrow as if asking, "What's the matter with Jane?") I mean, I--(looks at Jake:) that is we know that she's a good girl, but how do you know that this isn't just a--(looks for words:) physical attraction between the two of you? (Darren sighs)

DARREN: To be honest with you, speaking for myself, (pauses:) I really don't know what it is--and don't all relationships start with a physical attraction? Didn't you two (motions to Helen and Jake:) first become attracted to each other physically? (Helen and Jake look at each other, blushing for a moment) I just think that Jane is good people, that's all. Yes, I know she was with Tom, but from what she told me, their relationship was basically over for awhile.

QUINN: (Rolls her eyes:) Daaaarren! Believe me when I say that if a girl drops a guy and picks up another one right after, (snaps her fingers:) just like that, it goes up in smoke--pure and simple!

DARIA: (Smirks:) And you ought to know about that "up in smoke" type of relationship, shouldn't you, Quinn? You do it all the time, right? (Quinn gives Daria the glare to end all glares) Oh--that's right--make that "did"--you can't right now because of the "Big Bro" factor around here after the word got out about your "admirers" getting their asses kicked by Darren. (Sneers:) You just can't stay in "practice" at the moment, can you?

QUINN: (Points at Daria:) Hey! It's not my fault that you didn't tell Jane that Darren knew martial arts! (Daria glares at Quinn's comeback, while Darren looks up and sighs)

HELEN: (Narrows her eyes:) Daria, Quinn, that's enough! Darren, all I'm saying is, well, are you sure that Jane doesn't remind you in some way of--well--

DARREN: (Gives a slight frown, cuts Helen off, stands up:) --Stephanie? Is that what you were going to say? Look, let's get something straight--I have to get on with my life--I've been in mourning for about two months. If you all think that I'm attracted to Jane as some sort of--"remedy" to get over Stephanie--

HELEN: (Rushes forward, gently puts her hands on Darren's chest:) --No, no, that's not it, son--of course you should get on with your life! We're just--concerned over your--"sudden" interest in her, that's all! (Looks over at Jake, who has sat down on the right couch and is reading the Sunday paper:) JAKE! Put down that damn paper and get up and come the hell over here and help me!

Jake threw the paper aside, jumped up, and came over to Helen and Darren.

JAKE: Uh, well--(looks over at a glaring Helen:) maybe, well--maybe Darren's right, dear. (Adds hastily before a shocked Helen can say something:) You know, he and Jane are grown, responsible, mature young adults. I mean, if they want to get together, then, well, that's their business, ya know? (Pauses, looks confused for a moment:) Is that right, Helen?

DARREN: (Smiles at Jake:) Hey, thanks for your support. (Daria smirks, for she knows what is going to happen next)

Helen gasped in shock and anger, her eyes grew as big as silver dollars, clenched her teeth, and she grabbed the cup of the half-filled, now-cold coffee that Daria had put on the (named appropiately enough) coffee table, and promptly poured it over Jake's head. Helen then stormed upstairs. Quinn glared at Darren for a moment, shook her head in disgust, then followed Helen upstairs. Darren watched them both go, stunned.

DARREN: (Looks between the soaked Jake and Daria, lost:) I didn't--I mean--that is--did she--

DARIA: (Sighs:) Relax, bro--mom gets like that sometimes. (Darren's eyes and mouth grow even wider from shock) I remember that something like that happened before--she'll calm down and apologize later. (Looks over at Jake, who looks down, embarassed:) C'mon, Dad--lets go in the kitchen and get you cleaned up. (Pulls Jake into the kitchen, followed by Darren)

(Note to reader: Helen got like that with Jake in the episode "Arts 'N Crass" with the "penne a la pasto", remember?)

(Scene shifts to the Lane's at the same time)

Jane sat on her bed in her room, having showered and changed into her regular clothes, and now was talking with a fully-awake Trent (unbelievable as that was), who was sitting beside her. She had told him about her conversation with Tom the previous night, and the one earlier this morning with Darren--culminating with their second kiss in the Lane's living room. Trent took in every word, at first surprised, then pondered for a moment, and spoke.

TRENT: Whoa, Janey--what did mom say about this when you told her?

JANE: (Sighs, rolls her eyes:) While she was rushing out of the door to that damn "Art In Pottery" show? (Pauses, frowns to herself, surprised:) Hell, I can't believe that I just used the word "damn" with "art". (Shakes her head slowly while shutting her eyes:) Geez, this whole situation must be affecting me more than I thought. Anyway, she said in her own soothing voice: (imitating her mom:) "Whatever calms your inner soul, Jane", then she blew outta here like a bat outta hell. (Looks uneasily at Trent after a moment:) Never mind about mom--what do you think about all of this, Trent?

TRENT: (Shrugs:) Hey, it's cool, Janey--I liked Tom, and still do, but Darren's okay, too. I'm not exactly an "expert" when it comes to relationships--

JANE: (Smirks, thought v.o.: Tell me about it, Mr."Get-with-Monique-one-week-then-dump-one-another-the-next-week" Lane.)

TRENT: --but I think if you really like Darren, and he you, then go for it. (Pauses:) Do you know how Daria's gonna react to you liking her brother?

JANE: (Frowns slightly at that thought:) I dunno--Darren said that he'd tell Daria and her family when he left here this morning. I'm waiting a little while before I go over there myself to face the music--(smirks:) no pun intended, bro. (Trent smirks back, then Jane adds after a moment:) I wanted to go with him, but he insisted that he wanted to prepare them for me--it doesn't seem right for him to take his family's grief for me--God knows he did more than enough for me over that sinkhole. (Looks down, depressed, and Trent puts a reassuring hand on Jane's shoulder)

TRENT: C'mon, Janey--(arches an eyebrow:) you don't think Daria's gonna be upset or something, do you? She's your best friend.

JANE: (Cuts her eyes to Trent:) Trent, I'm not worried too much about Daria--it's her family that has me nervous. (Snorts:) I can see Quinn now, worrying about her "reputation" being "ruined" by me seeing her brother, or Helen just screaming about how I might be a "bad" influence on her son, or something. As for Jake--well, I can only say he'd probably go with what Helen says--I hate to say it, but the man has little backbone in standing up to her, bless his weak little heart--(thinks about Jake's minor heart attack that he had:) oops, wrong choice of words, there--sorry.

TRENT: (Sighs, then:) Janey, I think you're being too hard on Mr. and Mrs. M--(narrows his eyes:) though I can see "Daria's Sister" being PO'd, but she doesn't count, at least to me. Even if they do have some reservations about your seeing Darren, they really can't stop you two from doing so, you know? I mean, you guys are grown up and all. Also, you gotta remember he's getting to know his birth family--do you really think that they'd want to push him away now by giving you a hard time? (Shakes his head slowly:) I don't think so.

JANE: (Smiles weakly, shrugs:) Yeah, I guess you're right, bro, but still, I don't wanna get too much on their bad side because I'd like for us to all get along, if you know what I mean, which is why I'm working on a painting for them that I hope will kind of get into their good graces. (Pauses, then reaches over and hugs her brother:) Thanks, Trent--for being there for me--and well--for everything.

TRENT: (After hugging his sister, releases her, smiles:) Hey, I'll always be here for you, little sister--you know that. (Stands up with Jane:) Well, I'm gonna take the "new" Tank back to Nick, and he's gonna take me to get my car out of the shop.

JANE: (Smirks:) So, the 'ol blue Plymouth is up and runnin', eh?

TRENT: Yeah. We're gonna go to McGrundy's and practice for our gig there for the first time since we "recovered" for this Friday's show. (Pauses:) Hey, why don't you invite Darren to come with Daria there?

JANE: (Shrugs:) Good idea, bro--I'll ask him and Daria.

TRENT: (Goes to the doorway, then stops before he leaves, eyebrow cocked:) You sure you're gonna be okay, Janey?

JANE: (Gives a quiet smile:) I'll be fine, Trent. I'll wait about a few hours, then I'll head over to the Morgendorffer's to await (in a self-mocking dark tone and glare, suddenly standing rigid, like a soldier at attention:) "My day of judgement". (Trent smirks, then leaves, and then Jane drops her playful look, sighs, and goes to her set-up easel, and begins to paint furiously with an intense look on her face)

(Back to the Morgendorffer's, about an hour-and-a-half later)

Daria, now dressed in her regular ensemble, was typing on her computer keyboard when there was a knock on her door.

DARIA: (Raises her voice slightly:) Is it feeding time yet? If so, I ask you to slide my food under the door--of course, you'll need a damn saw to do the job--

VOICE: (Sounding apologetic, chuckles quietly:) --Funny you should ask about food--I'd like to ask if you can watch me eat some humble pie. May I come in, Daria?

DARIA: Sure, Darren, c'mon in. (Darren enters, dressed in a casual white shirt and kahki pants having just showered)

DARREN: Hey, sis--(glances at Daria's computer monitor:) what're you writing?

DARIA: (Gives a quick smirk, cuts her eyes at the monitor:) On this outdated, crappy, slow-ass of a hardrive that downloads into next week? It's a short story about a character I call Melody Powers. She's an American secret agent--remind me to tell you about it later. (Pauses:) What's on your mind, bro?

DARREN: (Thought v.o.: Note to self--make sure Daria gets Appleton's newest top-of-the-line 700 MHz Sharpshooter PC after all of this lunacy is over.)(Sighs:) I think we both know what's on my mind, Daria--Jane. (Daria cocks an eyebrow) You didn't say anything about it yet, so I'm--here to say that I'm sorry for not being honest with you about what I really felt after Jane's kiss, and concerning Jane herself. At the time, I really didn't have a good handle on my feelings--and neither did Jane. I--shouldn't have kept you in the dark about that.

DARIA: (Shrugs:) It's okay, Darren. I figured you'd want to talk to me about it without anybody around, and to be honest with you, I already suspected that you two kind of liked each other already, so it's really none of my business if you and Jane want to see one another.

DARREN: (Ponders for a second:) Daria--I think, and I'm sure Jane thinks as well, that, to a certain extent, it should be your business. (Daria looks at her brother, curious) The last thing either of us wants to do is have you feeling, well, awkward over Jane and me having some sort of relationship--after all, she's your best friend. Neither of us planned to have this happen--it just, well, did. (Frowns to himself, tries to convey his words:) Both of us were kind of "caught up in a crossroad" of our lives--

DARIA: --And where you two ran "smack dab" into each other. (Darren thinks about what happened earlier this morning with running into Jane, and the apparent irony of Daria's words, smirks to himself) (Daria sighs:) Well, I gotta say stranger things have happened. (Pauses, talks in a serious tone:) Look bro--I'm probably biased, but if you gotta like someone, then I can say without a doubt that Jane is the girl I'd want for you to have. (Darren smiles, relieved, while Daria gives a small smirk:) Don't tell her that I said that--she'd never let me live it down.

DARREN: (Laughs:) No problem, sis--she won't hear it from me. (Pauses:) By the way, Helen came by my room and apologized to me for her reaction to Jane, having told me also that she had done the same thing with Jake. She wants to take me out to lunch Wednesday--I'm supposed to come by where she works to pick her up--we'll use my rented car to go and eat, and I can meet her colleagues for the first time--she said they're eager to meet me.

DARIA: Or maybe they'd want to dissect you, and see if they can make you their newest client. (Darren snickers) Hmm--does her apology and subsequent eat-out mean that mom approves of you and Jane?

DARREN: (Smirks:) You know, I asked her about that--and she grudgingly said that she won't say anything bad about Jane and me when Jane comes over later. (Adds, shrugs:) At least Helen promised she wouldn't.

DARIA: (Smirks:) Maybe you'd better get that in writing--you know, with mom being a lawyer and everything.

DARREN: (Grins:) The thought had crossed my mind. (Starts to leave:) Well, I'd better talk to Quinn about this--

DARIA: (Narrows her eyes, gets a slight frown on her face:) --Why should you care about what our "beloved sister" thinks, Darren? It's not like she could do much about it, save for moaning and complaining about how it's "ruined her popular reputation".

DARREN: (Casts an uncertain eye at Daria:) I know I'm reaching here, sis, but I think I can convince Quinn to lay off of Jane--(Daria rolls her eyes) no, really. I believe that just talking to her can do the trick. Wish me luck. (Leaves Daria's room)

DARIA: (Calls after Darren, smirks:) I wish you a whole hell of a lot of luck, bro--a wheelbarrow full of rabbit's feet, horseshoes, and four-leaf clovers of it. (Thought v.o.: My poor, deluded, too nice of a big brother--I wonder how much she'll try to finagle out of him for her silence on Jane? Better remind myself to ask Quinn later.) (Goes back to her computer, sits down, continues to type)

Darren knocked on Quinn's bedroom door. Quinn, also dressed in her familiar clothing, had been reading Waif magazine, was sitting on her bed, and had cut her eyes at the door, frowning.

DARREN: (Sounding muffled:) Quinn? C'mon, it's Darren. Let me in--I want to talk about Jane.

QUINN: (Rolls her eyes, sneers:) Hmmph! Why should I, bro? You like her, an' that's that! There's nothing I can do about it, except suffer an' stuff! You don't care about my feelings!

DARREN: (Quietly:) Sis, let me in to just talk, okay? I'm getting kind of tired talking to a door. (Pauses:) Please?

Quinn gave a quick sigh, got off of her bed, opened her door, and let Darren in. She walked past him after shutting the door, and leaped back on her bed, facing Darren, lying on her stomach. Quinn rested on her elbows, and was looking directly at him, still frowning.

QUINN: Shoot--and it had better be good.

Darren sat down reluctantly on the edge of Quinn's bed, and pondered his next words, quietly speaking.

DARREN: I like Jane, and she likes me, sis--it's as simple as that.

QUINN: (Makes a smacking noise with her mouth, as if in disgust:) God, bro--of all of the girls on the planet, why'd you pick Jane? (Darren frowns at this, something Quinn picks up immediately on, then quickly adds:) Not that Jane is the worse person you can get, by any means. It's just that fashion-wise, I certainly think she can do a lot better--but what is it about her that you like? I mean, with your looks, you can have anybody!

DARREN: (Looks annoyed, gives a quick sigh:) Thanks for the compliment, but I thought we had gone over this downstairs. I like Jane because she's an attractive, (Quinn rolls her eyes) nice, wickedly funny and decent person. (Pauses:) Look, I'll admit that the kiss she gave me at the Zen kind of--contributed to it, but it was a small contribution. Isn't there some way that you can be nice to her when she comes over later? I'm asking you as my sister to do this for me, your "Big Bro".

QUINN: (After a moment, suddenly gets a scheming look on her face:) Hmmmm--are you an' me still gonna go to Chez Pierre tonight, bro?

DARREN: (Looks at Quinn, a bit perplexed:) Uh--sure, sis--if that's what you still want--what does that have to do with Jane?

QUINN: (Sits up, scoots over to Darren, hooks her arm with his, and gets into her "charm" mode:) Weeeell--I'm gonna need some new clothes to put on for our date--(pauses:) maybe if we can, like stop at Cashman's an' kinda get a few things for me before we go, I can be real nice to Jane. (Goes on quickly before Darren can say anything:) Besides, I haven't had a date with any guy since you beat up Joey, Jeffrey, and Jamie, and I have been really concentratin' an' stuff with you helping me on getting into the Fashion Institute with improving my grades--even though I feel like (ugh) Daria--becomin' a "brain" an' everything. Don't you think you at least owe me for that? (Darren ponders this) After all, as the vice-president of the Fashion Club, I gotta keep up with the latest fashion trends an' everything. (Suddenly gasps, realizes:) Yeah! That's right! (Darren raises an eyebrow, gives Quinn a quick, strange look:) My birthday gift! You can just tell our parents you're getting that stuff as my gift! (Pauses, as Darren now frowns at Quinn, perplexed:) Don't you remember when you an' I first met, bro?

DARREN: (Thinks for a moment:) Yes--yes, I do, Quinn--you thought I worked at Cashman's and had met our parents at the mall to get a "gift" they wanted for you. What does that have to do with--

QUINN: (Cuts Darren off excitedly:) --Don't you see, bro--? (Darren gives a quick shake of his head, still comprehending:) You and I can just say you were getting my birthday gift from Cashman's, you know, just in case our parents ask where I got my stuff from. (Smiles, looks in space:) It's perfect--they can't take it away from me because of that! Mom won't go after me if you tell her!

DARREN: (Looks at Quinn expressionlessly:) Let me get this straight--you want me to bribe you into liking Jane by buying you some clothes at Cashman's, and then say to our parents that the clothes are your birthday gift so they won't be able to take your clothes away if they find out, thinking that you took advantage of me?

QUINN: (Nods and shrugs:) It's like when I thought Daria had taken advantage of you, you know, blackmailing you when you sided with her an' told the Fashion Club I was your cousin? (Quickly adds:) Not that I'm holding that against you, bro--it's history, really. Besides, everything's legal an' on the level--it will be my birthday next month. (Pauses, smirks:) So, what do you think, bro--do we have a deal?

Darren stared at Quinn for a second, then sighed, resigned to his fate. He chuckled to himself--his youngest sister's business acumen was nothing short of remarkable--she had accounted for virtually every contingency--or so it seemed. In that aspect, he had to admire Quinn for her doggedness and "business negotiation"--he wondered half-seriously if she actually could fit in well at Appleton's fashion division, Circa. He also supposed that if he was going to get Daria a new computer, then Quinn should get something as well--even if it was for keeping the peace with Jane.

DARREN: Okay, Quinn--it's a deal. If our parents ask, I'll tell them I did it for your birthday. (Thought v.o.: Although I'm sure Daria won't believe that--and I guess I can't blame her. She and Jane are right--I am too nice.)

QUINN: (Squeals with delight, hugs and kisses her brother on the cheek:) Thanks, bro! (Gets off bed, narrows her eyes, begins to pace:) Let's see, now--our reservations at Chez Pierre are for 7:00, and it's almost 2:30 now, and that gives us, like, four-and-a-half hours--(pauses, looks at Darren:) when's Jane comin' over, bro?

DARREN: I'm not sure--she said she'd be over in a while--why?

QUINN: Well, we don't have too much time for us to go to Cashman's and look. (Darren looks puzzled) I need to know what I'm gonna get, bro--one can't be too careful when it comes to fashion--it takes time! Can't you just call Jane and ask her to come here now if she's not busy with her little "art-stuff"? (Darren rolls his eyes) I mean, she's gonna have to talk to Daria about you anyway, so see if she can come as soon as possible, okay? The sooner we can leave, the sooner we can be ready to go to Chez Pierre!

DARREN: (Smiles, talks in a good-humoured tone, puts up his hands:) Okay, okay! I'll call and see if she can come. (Gets up)

QUINN: Oh, yeah--there's something else I wanted to ask you before you call Jane, bro. It's really nothing, but--um, yesterday morning I kind--of--well, heard mom and dad say that you call them by their first names. (Darren cocks an eyebrow) What's the deal with that?

DARREN: (Gives a quick chuckle:) Ah, and I suppose you were with Daria when you heard them say that? She didn't tell me when she asked me about it last night.

QUINN: (At first surprised, then becomes red-faced, looks away:) She did? Well, I wasn't exactly with her when she heard mom and dad say that. I heard her come by my door, and I got up to see what was goin' on, and uh--

DARREN: (Raises an eyebrow:) --You saw Daria listening to our parents talk? (Grins when Quinn nods:) Like I told Daria, I just couldn't call them "Mom" and "Dad" right out like that--(his voice goes low:) you know, because it would be like not respecting my deceased (adopted) parents, and all they've done for me. (Pauses, slightly alarmed for some reason, gives Quinn an uncertain look:) You're not thinking of calling them by their first names because you heard that I did, right? I mean, I only did that when I knew you and Daria weren't around to hear.

Quinn giggled, waving Darren off.

QUINN: C'mon, bro--you just gave me a good reason not to an' stuff. I can understand that that wouldn't have been fair to your (adopted) parents. Don't worry--I'll still call them "Mom" an' "Dad"--(adds as an afterthought, shrugs:) besides, I call them "Helen" and "Jake" sometimes when they're not around to my friends.

DARREN: (Looks at Quinn with an arched eyebrow, thinking Daria had said the same thing last night:) Well, uh, all right--I'll go and call Jane.

QUINN: (In her singy-songy voice, smiles:) Okay, Darren. (Darren leaves, while Quinn makes room in her closet for her new clothes)

(Scene is back at the Lane's)

Jane looked over her newest masterpiece on her easel, with paint-covered hands on her hips, and a prideful smirk on her speckled paint-covered face. She had finished it in personal record time--it was going to be a surprise for the Morgendorffers. After spraying it with a clear, protective coating, Jane covered the painting (making sure it was dry) with a white bedsheet and wrapped it up carefully. She was completing the wrapping, when the cell phone in her room rang. Jane grabbed a paint-stained damp towel hanging on her bedroom chair and wiped her hands, then answered her cell phone on the third ring.

JANE: Yo!

VOICE: Hey, Jane--did I call at a bad time?

JANE: (Smiles:) Darren? Hey! Nah--you called at a good time--I had just finished, um--some art. (Pauses:) Uh--did everything go well when you got back to the Morgendorffers?

DARREN: It's okay, Jane--(chuckles:) the coast is clear. Daria said that it was fine with her about us, so relax. Jake even said it was okay with him. Helen and (pauses:) Quinn eventually accepted it, so you can come over with no reservations--and as I told you this morning over breakfast, Quinn and I are planning to go to Chez Pierre tonight, (sighs:) so, if you can, do you think it's possible for you to come over as soon as you deem it fit to do so? Quinn asked me if you could so she could get ready for the "date" she and I are having.

JANE: (Snorts:) Well, we couldn't keep Quinn waiting, could we? (She then sighs, relieved, though she still thought she heard some sort of reservation in Darren's voice about Quinn's okay, playfully swings her fist:) Sure! Lemme get cleaned up real quick, and I'll be on my way.

DARREN: Okay--(pauses:) do you--well, need for me to come and pick you up, or something?

JANE: (Smirks, in a semi-mockingly playful tone:) Awww--isn't that sweet. Ah, I can use the walk--it isn't that far. (Thought v.o.: That and not letting you see my surprise gift to you and your family, Darren.) Gimme about 20 minutes, and I'll be there.

DARREN: Okay, see you then, Jane. (Hangs up)

Darren clicked off his cell phone, went to Quinn's room to tell her Jane was on her way, then came back to his room. He then went through his clothes bag hanging in the closet, looking for something appropiate to wear to this Chez Pierre tonight--according to Quinn, it was "a really fancy" French restaurant, so he decided to wear a black dress jacket and matching pants, his best suit, as well as the most expensive one he had--the other clothes he had were basically "regular" clothing. He certainly could have brought many expensive clothes made by Circa Fashions with him, but he would have possibly garnered questions by the Morgendorffers over how he could afford such clothing, and most definitely the vast majority of them would have come from Quinn. Darren felt that for sure Quinn had the potential for being a very good fashion designer, (she decided after a good cry that modeling was not the way to go after Darren told her of the chances of succeeding in the modeling industry, even with his help) the same for Daria being a very good writer, and Jane succeeding in her field of art. As he zipped open the side pocket of the bag, something fell out onto the carpeted floor. It caught his eye, and he turned pale for a moment. How did that get in there?

"That" was a picture of him and Stephanie Reardon. He bent over and picked it up, and stared at it intently for a moment. He remembered when it was taken--about six months ago while at Eastward College, just outside calculus class by Curtis, and Darren had his arm around her waist, holding her close. Stephanie was grinning at the camera with her pearly-white teeth showing and her thick, black hair was in its regular ponytail style, with the ponytail part lying on her right shoulder, similiar to a female Native American hairstyle. Stephanie's small, round, face, and dark brown eyes were full of joy. She wore a red sweater with the Eastward reed and book symbol on the upper right part of her chest. She was gone now--never to return. It would do little to no good to keep thinking about it, save for keeping the good memories. Stephanie would want him to go on--no doubt about that. He grew a bit wistful, then smiled slowly as he thought about Jane. If there was any girl that could help him go on, he believed for some reason it could be her--but he did not want to like her just to help him get over Stephanie--that wouldn't be fair to Jane--or the memory of Stephanie, or even himself. Of course, it could be the same way concerning Jane and Tom from Jane's point of view over seeing Darren to get over Tom, even though Jane said that her and Tom's relationship had gone steadily downhill for awhile--Darren pondered on whether he should talk to her later about that.

His cell phone on his bed suddenly rang on its own. Perhaps Woo had found Sanchez? He quietly put the picture back in his bag, reached on the bed and clicked on the phone, and spoke.

DARREN: (Hesitating for a moment:) Er--hello?

VOICE: (Sounding quiet, and contrite:) Hey, man--it's me. I'm calling from my grandma's.

DARREN: (Raised eyebrows, smiles, delighted and surprised:) Curtis?

CURTIS: The one and only. Look, I want to apologize for snapping at you the last time we talked. I know you wouldn't do anything like keep that sort of secret from your birth family if you could help it--

DARREN: (Cuts him off, eager to make amends:) --No, no--you were right! Believe me when I say to you that if I could tell the Morgendorffers my real last name, I would've by now. It's just that-- something's come up, and, well--it's just not a good time right now.

CURTIS: (Gives a sighing sound:) It's cool. The reason why I'm calling is that I just had a close run-in with a reporter while I was out at a nearby mall with Lena. They came from the local TV station--must've made some sort of damn connection through some sources concerning our friendship. They tried like hell to get something, hassling us, but I told them to go take a hike. After experiencing that incident, I wanted to add that you've now gotten my sympathy, man--I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to the media right now. I told them to stay the hell away from Lena--she doesn't know where you are because I didn't tell her anything, and she hadn't pushed me on the subject.

DARREN: (Grinds his teeth in frustration:) Damn. Curtis, I'm sorry for all of this--you and Lena shouldn't have had to take all that garbage for me. Hopefully, it won't be long before this is all over with. Is Lena all right?

CURTIS: Yeah, she's okay. (Hesitates:) I've been doing some thinking--does this--well--does this have anything to do with Woo investigating what happened with your parent's plane crash? (Darren looks alarmed) I couldn't help but to wonder why you couldn't tell me, and I even felt Lena knew something was wrong with me after she caught me acting pretty angry about my previous phone call to you when she and I were together the other night. She didn't say anything to me about that, either--(chuckles:) I couldn't keep anything from that girl.

DARREN: (Thought v.o.: Too bad I can't say the same--yet. Searches for words:) Ah, Curtis--let's just say Woo's onto something, but he hasn't found anything definitive that we can use yet. (Changes subject quickly:) I meant to tell you--I--met a girl yesterday while jogging.

CURTIS: (Now sounds very excited, buys the change of subject:) Really, now? Thatta boy! So, I assume she's quite a looker--?

DARREN: (Chuckles:) Oh yeah, you'd better believe she is. Her name's Jane Lane--she also happens to be my sister Daria's best friend.

CURTIS: (Now grows suddenly quiet, and after a pause:) Oh. That sort of--complicates things, huh?

DARREN: (Grins:) Heh--I thought that would bring you back down to earth. Don't worry--it's no big deal. Let me tell you how Jane and I met--

Quinn went to Daria's room to tell her about Jane coming over.

QUINN: (Knocks:) Daria, it's me. Can I come in?

DARIA: (Now off of her computer, and on her bed, propped up reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Hound of the Baskervilles:) Sure, "me". (Quinn comes in) Oh, and by the way, it's "May I come in".

QUINN: (Frowns, hands on her hips:) Why should you come in, Daria? I'm the one coming into your room. You're already here.

DARIA: (Rolls her eyes:) As Archie Bunker would say: "Dingbat, dingbat, dingbat! (Sighs while Quinn looks at Daria, confused:) Never mind. What do you want, oh-fashion-obsessed-"cousin"-of-mine? (Smirks)

QUINN: (Glares:) Ha, Daria. Anyway, Darren just told me that Jane's on her way over here. (Shrugs, as if what she just said was a minor afterthought:) I just thought you wanted to know, or something.

DARIA: (Deadpan:) Why Quinn--how nice of you to to tell me that Jane was coming over (sneers:) "just for me to know". (Faux gasp:) Why, you'd think Jane and I actually knew each other, and were "best" friends, or "something".

QUINN: (Narrows her eyes:) Ha again, Daria. (Turns around:) Well, I've done my job. I'm going downstairs where mom and dad are, and wait for--

DARIA: (While getting off of her bed, puts her book aside:) --Hold it, "Red". (Quinn turns around) That reminds me--I wanted to ask you a question.

QUINN: (Impatient, hands on her hips:) What is it, Daria?

DARIA: You just told me that Jane's coming over--you know, the "Jane" that likes our brother? You don't sound too upset over this particular development now as opposed to when we were downstairs when we first heard it. (Quinn rolls her eyes while Daria continues) Okay, how much?

QUINN: (Cocks an eyebrow:) How much what, Daria?

DARIA: (Crosses her arms, looking stern:) How much crap did you con our "too-nice-of-a-bro" out of to play nice with Jane, "cuz"? Don't bother trying to deny it.

Quinn fumed at Daria for a moment, then spoke.

QUINN: Fine. Yeah, I did get something out of Darren--but it's for my birthday next month--

DARIA: (Smirks:) --You mean, the "cover" is that it's for your birthday. (Pauses:) So, what was it? Money? Clothes --? Maybe a little of both?

QUINN: (Now crosses her arms, defiant:) Since you wanna know so badly, it's clothes from Cashman's. After we meet Jane, Darren's gonna take me there to get some before we come back here and get ready to go to Chez Pierre tonight.

Daria looked at Quinn and slowly shook her head, quietly disgusted. After a moment, Quinn frowned at Daria, more out of confusion than anger.

QUINN: God, what's your problem, Daria? Darren agreed to say they were for my birthday in case mom and dad asked, so why're you goin' postal about this?

DARIA: (Sighs:) Quinn, you're getting Darren to spend his own money on you, not only for Chez Pierre, but Cashman's as well. (Pauses:) That money, however little Darren has, came as an inheritance from the deaths of his adopted parents. I'm only guessing that it's not all that much--and all of this after he's helped you with preparing for going to the Fashion Institute, and getting an internship at Circa Fashions, where his late adopted mother worked. (Quinn turns pale while Daria frowns:) I mean, birthday, or not--how could you just take advantage of him like that? (Pauses:) And now when I think about it, you've just done the same thing you thought I accused you of doing when you tried to pull that trick of getting Darren to go along with saying that he was your cousin, remember? How incredibly prophetic. Isn't he doing more than enough for you? Don't you have any decency at all, Quinn? I thought even you had at least a little.

Quinn stared at Daria, stunned, apparently at a loss for words. She remembered the talk she just had with Darren over calling her parents "Jake" and "Helen", and why he did so. The cold reality hit Quinn hard--she was taking advantage of Darren. She then looked down, ashamed.

QUINN: (Trying to find what to say:) D-Daria--I--uh--(begins to cry:) I'm--SORRY! (Suddenly leaves Daria's room for her own)

DARIA: (Genuinely surprised at Quinn's reaction:) Well, whattaya know--she does have a conscience. (Goes after Quinn, thought v.o.: And I guess I do, too.:) Wait a second, Quinn!

Darren was just finishing talking to Curtis when he heard what sounded like a crying Quinn run by his closed door, then a door slamming. He frowned, perplexed.

DARREN: Hey, Curtis--something's just come up--do you mind if I call you back tomorrow or some other time?

CURTIS: (Laughing sound:) No problem, "Mr. Mud Hero". Chill.

DARREN: Take it easy. (Clicks off phone, gets off his bed, and looks in the hallway, sees Daria:) Daria, what's going on? Was that Quinn?

Before Daria could answer, Helen and Jake had come upstairs when they heard Quinn's crying. Helen looked at Darren and Daria for an explanation, while Jake of course, was--well--being Jake.

JAKE: (Screams while holding his head:) WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH MY LITTLE GIRL?! (Daria, having experienced this before, remains impassive, while Darren looks at Jake with a bit of a terrified look on his face) WHAT HAPPENED?! (Helen rolls her eyes. She, like Daria, has seen this as well.)

HELEN: Jake, calm down! (Which he does, rather instantaneously, and Helen then looks back at Daria and Darren:) Do you two know what's wrong with Quinn?

DARIA: (Prepares herself for the unenviable task of informing her parents as to why:) Well, you see--

DARREN: (Suddenly jumps in, looks for words:) --I told Quinn that--that--sequin fashion is out for this year, and that she's going to have to find a new fabric for the fall. (Daria looks at Darren as if to say, "Are you nuts?") I guess she took it pretty hard--(laughs uneasily, shrugs:) you know how it is with Quinn and fashion.

Helen and Jake looked at each other for a second, baffled. Daria simply watched her parents and brother, expressionless, inwardly amused to see what would happen next.

HELEN: (Now smiles with Jake, in her falsetto voice:) Ohhhh, is that all? (Daria rolls her eyes--Helen's brought the story.) Honestly--we thought something was really amiss with Quinn.

DARIA: (Supreme deadpan:) That's been obvious for years--I believe this came about when she was born. (Darren holds in his humor--barely, while Helen rolls her eyes, exasperated)

JAKE: (Now suddenly concerned again:) It was? Oh, NO! (Looks at Helen, panicking:) Honey, what are we gonna--

HELEN: (Sighs loudly, while turning Jake around and pushing him back down the stairs:) Come on, Jakey--Daria was only joking. Let me take you back to your Sunday paper--

DARIA: (Calls to Helen while she's pushing Jake downstairs:) --And you can get back to your Sunday paperwork. (Helen gives Daria a quick, annoyed glare before going out of sight)

DARREN: (Realizes something, goes to the top of the stairs and shouts down to Helen and Jake:) Oh, I forgot to tell you two that Jane's on her way over!

HELEN: (From below, after a moment:) Oh, she is? Well, we'll watch out for her, son--thank you.

DARREN: (Goes back to Daria:) Okay, sis--I bought you some time over Quinn. What happened?

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) How do you know that I had something to do with Quinn crying?

DARREN: (Slightly smirks:) Call it a wild "hunch". It sounded like she was coming from your room.

DARIA: (Sighs:) Good guess. Okay, here's the lowdown--

(Scene changes to down the street from the Morgendorffer's home)

Jane walked down the sidewalk carrying the wrapped-up canvas of artwork under her arm. She hoped it would help smooth over any of the "rocky" bumps she might encounter when she would see the Morgendorffers. Jane still felt that everything would not be a-okay, even with Darren's assurances--after all, she felt he had hesitated over Quinn saying it was fine. Jane smirked to herself over this thought. She figured somehow or another that "The Queen" had gotten something in exchange for her "approval" of Jane seeing Darren--Daria had explained how Quinn "operated" to Jane in the past, as well as Jane seeing Quinn in action herself at various times. Oh well--Jane did not expect a rousing response from Quinn either way--might as well grin and bear it.

Helen would be--tolerant of the relationship for Darren's sake --Trent's little deduction about her not wanting to push Darren away was probably true, but Jane really did want Helen to go along with Jane liking Darren, and not just to do so for her son's sake. Jane was a little surprised that Jake actually supported Darren seeing her--maybe he was getting a backbone after all.

Though sure that Daria would go along with Jane seeing Darren, Jane still felt unsure for some reason about Daria's overall response. She would have to apologize to Daria for "misleading" her on Jane's feelings for Darren--and that within itself actually gave Jane some inner pain, for Jane had rarely kept her opinions to herself when she talked to her "Partner-In-Crime" about anything. Not only that, but Jane privately believed that by liking Darren, it kind of "twisted the knife" in Daria's heart--Jane could actually get with Daria's brother Darren, but Daria could not get with Jane's brother Trent, even with Jane's "help"--though Jane could not know for sure that Daria even still had an interest in him. Damn, this wasn't fair--but then again, what was? Jane decided that at least for now, that little subject should be left alone--no need to alienate her friend over such speculations.

Jane finally saw the Morgendorffer's home coming into view. Her heart suddenly began to race--why in the hell was that happening? You've been there hundreds of times, girl--what's the big deal? Is it seeing Darren, or hoping things go well when you see the Morgendorffers? Maybe a little of both? Feeling a bit nervous, Jane found herself clutching her wrapped-up artwork a little tighter under her arm--she hoped it would do the trick in making peace with the Morgendorffers--and even against hope, Quinn.

(Scene is back at the Morgendorffer's--the hallway)

Daria had finished explaining why Quinn had cried after Daria had talked to her. Darren shook his head slowly, sighing.

DARREN: (Softly:) Oh, Daria--look, I appreciate your defending me over thinking that Quinn was taking advantage of me, and taking some of my--minuscule amount of money I got from my deceased (adopted) parents. (Pauses:) To a certain extent, you're probably right, she is--but it's okay--I don't mind buying something for Quinn.

DARIA: (Arches an eyebrow:) You're sure there's not going to be any problem, Darren? I mean, yeah, I felt really bad over what I said to Quinn, but I also know that it was true about the things she does in using people.

DARREN: (Shrugs:) Yes, you told me about Quinn "pulling the wool" over people's eyes, remember? (Smiles:) And Daria, Quinn did cry after you said that to her. If she didn't, Quinn would've just shrugged off what you talked to her about, and wouldn't have felt anything--

DARIA: --And as I um, thought to myself when she left my room, she does have a conscience. (Pauses, shrugs:) Well, it's your money, bro.

DARREN: (Chuckles:) Thanks, sis--now let's go and cheer Quinn up. (Starts knocking on Quinn's door:) Quinn? It's Darren and Daria! Will you let us come in?

Unbeknowest to Daria and Darren, Quinn had been listening to their conversation in the hallway with an ear on her bedroom door, or to at least the end portion of their talk. She really had felt badly about using her brother to get some clothes from Cashman's--Daria sure had laid it on the "guilt trip" thick. Quinn could not remember Daria ever going after her like that over getting something from someone--she could even say that Daria herself took advantage of her when Daria wanted something--more than just the "cousin" thing, notwithstanding. Certainly, Daria had blackmailed her at various times, such as doing Daria's chores around the house in return for not telling their parents over something bad Quinn had done, (Note to reader: See "Malled" for but one example of this) or giving money to Daria for Daria to do her homework, or something else during their various "bargaining sessions". With some rare exceptions, this had always been the case in the past in one form, or another.

Then Darren came into the picture, and Daria seemed to change somewhat (in a very small way)--and to a certain extent, Quinn herself. Daria had refused to go along when Quinn approached her and offered Daria money for saying that Darren was Daria's cousin--and Quinn saw the end result of that little fiasco. Darren had whipped Joey, Jeffrey, and Jack--no, wait--Jamie, when they thought Darren was her boyfriend, and had jumped on him in the Pizza King, thus letting them get the word out to all of her perspective suitors in Lawndale, (as misunderstood as that was) that Quinn was off limits. Much to her surprise, Quinn did not get angry at her brother for unwittingly doing so--and that of itself confused her in a way. Having no dates to go out on, she found herself studying, with Darren's help, and going over the curriculum for the Fashion Institute. She discovered, thanks to Darren again, that it indeed did take "brains" to get an associate of arts degree. Normally, Quinn would've blanched at doing "brainy" things, but she then began to realize that being in fashion design was a "brainy" thing that she could do, and she actually started to--enjoy it--again, thanks to her brother's encouragement.

Then there was Jane. Quinn obviously did not like the "art geek", Daria's "weirdo" friend, especially since Quinn thought that she was seeing that Tim--no, wait--Tom guy. Okay, fine--so Big Bro saved Jane's life--any girl would be grateful for that--especially by someone as hunky as her bro--but one kiss, and instant attraction? Come on! Well then, she had thought, if you really find yourself attracted to her, bro, fine--but you're gonna have to pay for my approval. Quinn thought about what she was going to get in addition for a dinner at Chez Pierre from Darren--nothing out of the ordinary for her, and laid on her sisterly charm to Darren--and he fell for it, having no other choice, of course. Then came Daria and her damn talk--and Quinn finding herself feeling genuinely guilty--and even crying over it! She came to her senses when she heard knocking on her bedroom door, and quickly wiped her wet eyes with the back of her hand--she hoped that her make-up wasn't running.

DARREN: (Finishes knocking:) I guess she's still upset, Daria--I've been knocking for about 20 seconds, and Quinn's not answering.

DARIA: Well, maybe we should leave her for now, bro, and--

The door suddenly flew open, and Quinn stood in the doorway, looking red-faced and red-eyed. She looked hesitantly between the two, and spoke before they could.

QUINN: (In a contrite tone, or as contrite as someone like Quinn could get:) Darren, I'm--sorry. (Darren and Daria look at each other, shocked) I shouldn't have asked you to buy me some clothes an' stuff like that just so that I could be nice to Jane. We don't have to go to Cashman's, (and adds after a pause:) or Chez Pierre, if you don't want to. (Looks down)

Daria narrowed her eyes for a second, then walked forward, and gently brushed past Quinn, going into Quinn's room, and started to look around. Quinn and Darren looked at each other, confused.

DARREN: Uh, Daria, what are you doing?

DARIA: (While still looking around:) I'm trying to find the real Quinn. The one with us here is obviously a replacement Quinn. (Looks at Quinn:) Who are you, and what did you do with our Quinn, and more importantly, can you keep her from ever coming back? (Darren chuckles while Quinn rolls her eyes)

QUINN: Look--I just, well, decided that um, maybe you were right about me wanting things from our bro, Daria--I mean, I guess Darren did help me way more than I realized an' stuff, and I probably was a little too selfish, that's all. (Daria raises an eyebrow at Quinn that says, "A little too selfish?")

DARREN: (Walks up to Quinn, puts a hand on her shoulder:) Quinn, it's all right. I don't see any harm in you getting at least one new dress for our "date" tonight at this Chez Pierre. You did earn it--especially given what you did just now, being unselfish, considering everything that Daria said to you. (Quinn looks shocked at Darren, while Daria says nothing) Tell you what--we'll see Jane, then you and I will go to Cashman's, okay?

QUINN: (Gasps, delighted:) Y-you really mean it, bro? I-I was really kind of rezoned to staying here--

DARIA: --Quinn, that's resigned--

QUINN: (Frowns slightly at Daria:) --whatever, but if you want me to go, Darren, then I will.

DARREN: (Grins:) Teriffic, sis. Now let's--

At that moment, the doorbell rang from downstairs.

DARIA: That's gotta be Jane, bro--the time is at hand. See you guys downstairs. (Leaves)

DARREN: Right behind you, Daria--(looks at Quinn:) coming, sis?

QUINN: (Smiles weakly:) Lemme fix up my face, and I'll be down in a minute, okay, Darren?

DARREN: Okay, sis--don't be too long. (Leaves while Quinn shuts her door)

Jane had been let in and welcomed by Helen, who gave a nice, but somewhat forced smile to Jane. Jane walked into the living room holding the wrapped-up painting she had done. Jake got up off the right couch and gave his usual clueless smile, putting his paper aside, and reached out to shake Jane's hand, welcoming her as well, while Helen noticed what Jane was holding, and inquired.

HELEN: (Raises an eyebrow:) Jane, what's that you've got under your arm?

JANE: (Thought v.o.: It isn't a bomb or a gun, Helen.:) It's a--"peace offering" of sorts, Mrs. Morgendorffer. I hope you guys like it.

HELEN: (Looks confused, surprised:) A "peace offering"? Why, Jane, you don't feel like we're your--(pauses:) enemy just because you might not think we want you to see our son, do you?

JANE: (Thought v.o.: "Might" not? You're kidding, right?:) Not at all, Mrs. Morgendorffer--I just wanted to present you guys with something that'll kind of "symbolize" your blossoming relationship with your long-lost son, that's all.

Daria had just come down the stairs and caught the tail-end of Jane's remark. She walked up to Jane.

DARIA: Hey, Jane--(smirks:) what's this that I hear about some sort of "symbol" and "blossoming"? (Eyes Jane's "gift":) Hmmm--don't tell me you've painted a field of condoms as far as the eye can see?

JAKE & HELEN: (Red-faced while Jane smirks:) DARIA!

Darren came down the stairs, saw Jane, and slowly smiled. Jane saw Darren and returned the same smile--this moment was not lost on Daria, Helen, and Jake.

DARREN: Hi, Jane.

JANE: Hi, Darren.

DARREN: (Walks up beside Jane and Daria, looks around at everybody else:) Quinn will be down in a minute--she's making herself decent.

DARIA: Now that's next to impossible--I thought I told her that already. (Jane smirks some more while Darren gives Daria a little of an admonitory smirk, and Helen and Jake look at each other, miffled)

DARREN: (Notices Jane's package now:) Jane, what's that your holding? It looks like some sort of canvas-shaped work of art.

JANE: (Smiles:) Well, Darren, like I told your parents--

At that moment, Quinn came down the steps with her sickenly (to Daria and Jane, at least) sweet smile, voice, and charm. Daria cocked an eyebrow when she noticed that somehow, someway, Quinn had actually been able to pull off looking decent--she had shook off the rather pathetic, red-eyed, red-faced visage that Daria and Darren had witnessed when they went to see Quinn. Daria glanced at her brother, and saw that even he had seen the difference. Though she'd never admit it, Daria had to give it to Quinn--her sister did have the talent to fix herself up in a hell of a hurry.

QUINN: (In her singy-songy voice:) Hiiii, everybody! (Looks at Jane, her voice neutral:) Um, hey, Jane.

JANE: (Her voice neutral as well:) Hey, Quinn. (Quickly looks around to everyone else, goes to the front of the room, and sits the wrapped-up canvas on the center couch:) Well, folks--since you're all here now, I want to give you all something that I painted from my--uh--heart to celebrate Darren being here with you all. (Everyone looks at each other, intrigued, while Jane unwraps her "gift", and shows it:) Viola!

Helen, Jake, Quinn, and Darren looked stunned, and gasped, while Daria simply looked at Jane's work, wordlessly, cocking a slight eyebrow.

The painting was a group portrait of the Morgendorffers and Darren, Jake on the left rear and Helen on the right rear of the picture, with Jake having his right hand on Quinn's right shoulder, and his left hand on Darren's right shoulder. Helen had her right hand on Darren's left shoulder, with her left hand on Daria's left shoulder. Helen and Jake were standing behind a sitting Darren, Quinn, and Daria. Darren, dressed in a brown dress jacket and suit, and smiling, was in the center, flanked by a "cute" smiling Quinn on the left, her left arm hooked with Darren's right arm. Daria was on the right, not smiling (of course), and looking at her family with a bit of disdain, but she did have her right arm hooked with Darren's left arm, but it was done in such a way, as if Daria wanted to hide it from the other members of her family. Helen and Jake were dressed in their usual clothing, the same for Daria and Quinn. The background was of a greenish-gray tint. Jane had caught the facial features of the Morgendorffers and Darren almost perfectly.

HELEN: (Begins to cry:) O-oh, Jane! T-this i-is so--so beautiful!

JAKE: (Himself almost tearing up:) Y-yeah--it's great, Jane-o!

QUINN: (Still in shock, but does find the words:) W-wow, Jane! You even got both of my good sides! I'm--so--so cute!

DARREN: (Turns to Jane with a look of disbelief, then forces himself to speak:) Jane, this--is--is--magnificent! (Jane gives him a quiet smile of appreciation)

DARIA: (Shrugs, deadpan:) Eh--it's okay. (Jane simply gives Daria a look that says, "Why am I not surprised?")

Overwhelmed with emotion, Helen rushed up to a stunned Jane and hugged her tightly. Jane looked like a deer trapped in the headlights, standing in place rigidly. Daria wickedly smirked at Jane, figuring she deserved to get the "touchy-feely" hug for painting such a stomach-turningly cute family portrait. While Jake was wiping his eyes, Quinn walked over to the painting, awed, and examined her painted self closer. Darren simply smiled at Helen hugging Jane--Jane apparently had succeeded in making peace with the Morgendorffers.

Everyone (save for Daria, who simply watched the "festivities" with her arms crossed) had talked about the picture, which Jake and Darren had hung up over the Morgendorffer's front wall in the living room. Jane was peppered with questions.

HELEN: (While looking up at the picture, her arm around Jake's waist:) Jane, however were you able to capture us on the canvas like that? It's as if we had poised for you while you painted us.

JANE: (Shrugs:) Well, Mrs. Morgendorffer, (sneaks a peek at Darren, who's standing beside her looking up at the painting:) let's just say that I was inspired. (At Jane's emphasis on the word "inspired", Darren cuts his eyes down to her and smiles quietly, while everyone other than Jake gets the implication)

JAKE: (While looking at the painting as well:) How long did it take you to do this, Jane?

JANE: About two hours. (Jake whistles)

QUINN: (Ditto like Helen and Jake:) Well, I gotta say this is better than those funny-looking paintings you usually do, Jane. (Jane rolls her eyes, annoyed, while Darren simply sighs at Quinn, exasperated, and Daria frowns at her slightly. Helen and Jake are still too engrossed in the painting to notice what Quinn had said) You caught me pefectly!

DARIA: (Now smirks:) Too bad she couldn't have caught you in your "early-morning" mode--now that would have been the "real" Quinn we all know and love so well. (Jane and Darren look at each other, trying not to laugh, while Helen and Jake now look at Daria and give barely-noticible frowns of disapproval)

QUINN: (Looks at Daria with contempt:) Oh, that's reeeal funny, Daria--

DARIA: (Still smirks:) --I thought so--

QUINN: (Either not noticing or ignoring Daria:) --but Darren and I have gotta get ready to go.

HELEN: Oh, that's right--you two are going to Chez Pierre tonight, aren't you? (Looks at her watch:) It seems awfully early to get ready, isn't it?

DARREN: We're going to Cashman's to get Quinn a new dress for her to wear tonight. (Jane cocks an inquisitve, but knowing eyebrow at this, while Daria says nothing)

HELEN: (Looks at Quinn with a slight frown:) Now Quinn, I don't think it's appropiate to--

DARREN: (Steps in between Helen and Quinn:) --No, no, it's all right. I insist that I do this, okay? (Looks between Helen and Jake:) After all, you two haven't allowed me to use my money to help pay for anything while I've been staying here, so the least I can do is this. Anyway, it's just one dress. (Smiles down at Helen, puts his hand reassuringly on her shoulder:) Please? (Jane and Daria look at each other knowingly--Darren's going to win over Helen--again.)

Helen's face softened considerably, and she smiled.

HELEN: Well, all right--(looks at Quinn, her face becomes a little stern:) but only one dress, sweetie.

QUINN: (Smiles:) Okay, Mom. Darren, I'm gonna go upsairs and get ready to go. It'll be a few minutes. (Leaves to go upstairs)

DARIA: (Watches Quinn go up:) And the world will never be the same.

HELEN: Jane, thank you so much. You put a lot of effort into the painting in such a short time--(pauses:) at least maybe we can pay you--?

JAKE: (Comes up with Helen, begins to dig out his wallet:) Yeah!

JANE: (Waves them off:) No, no--like I said, the painting is a gift--nothing more, nothing less. Just you guys liking it is more than enough for me. (Daria snorts to herself)

HELEN: Well--all right--if you want it that way--

Daria quietly looked over to Darren and Jane, seeing that they were looking at each other and wanting to talk. Daria then glanced over to her mom, and began to make some very quiet grunting noises to get Helen's attention. Daria succeeded, for Helen took notice, and motioned to Jake.

HELEN: Er, Jake--let's go upstairs (motions her eyes up:) --I--want to show you something.

JAKE: Huh? (Looks blank for a second, then looks uneasily around:) Oh, well--uh, Helen--don't you think it's er, a little too early for that sort of thing? I mean, it's not the evening yet! (Helen rolls her eyes, red-faced and embarassed, while Daria and Jane smirk, and Darren chuckles)

HELEN: (Takes Jake's arm:) Come on, Jake! (Pulls him upstairs)

JAKE: (While being pulled upstairs, his voice fades off:) Okay, Helen, but don't ya think we ought to make sure the drapes are closed first?

Daria looked back at Jane and Darren before going upstairs.

DARIA: I've cleared the room, you two--it's your space. Jane, I'll be in my room when you come up. (Leaves)

DARREN: Thanks, sis. (Watches her go up, turns to Jane, smiling:) So.

JANE: (Smirks, walking up to Darren, holding his hands:) So.

DARREN: (After a pause, looking down at her:) Well, get it out--tell me.

JANE: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Tell you what?

DARREN: Tell me how Quinn conned me out of getting a dress from Cashman's in return for her being nice to you. (Grins:) I saw the slight look you had when you heard of her getting one before she and I go out to this Chez Pierre tonight.

JANE: (Shrugs:) Hey, I kind of expected it from Quinn, so I'm not really surprised. She got what she wanted?

DARREN: Actually, yes and no--and you could say that Daria had something to do with it--and as a result, Quinn learned a valuable lesson about herself in the process.

JANE: (Stares blankly:) Now you've lost me. Who did what?

Darren smiled at Jane's confusion, and was about to answer when the doorbell rang.

DARREN: (Shouts up the stairs:) I'll answer it! (Goes to the door with Jane in tow:) Now, who could that be?

JANE: (Smirks:) Famous last words.

Darren chuckled, and opened the door. Tom was standing there. Both Darren and Jane looked at him shocked, and then at each other. For his part, Tom looked surprisingly calm, something that seemed to concern Jane, though she did not show it outwardly.

DARREN: (Looks at Tom, feeling foolish:) Oh, uh, hey, Tom.

JANE: (Red-faced, in a quiet tone:) Yo. Tom.

TOM: (Completely in a flat tone, "Daria-style":) Darren. Jane.

There was a long, awkward pause, then Tom spoke.

TOM: (In slightly more of a normal tone:) Ah--I just wanted to thank Daria for her help with trying to, well--(looks away, talks low:) you know, Jane. (Darren looks confused, looks over at Jane, who knows all too well what Tom is talking about)

JANE: (In a small voice:) Yeah, sure--(pauses:) you want to--come in to tell her yourself?

TOM: (Looks uncomfortable for a moment:) Er, no, that's okay, Jane, I'm not going to stay long, anyway--I'd appreciate if you would tell her for me, okay? (Jane nods, and Tom turns to Darren, and hesitates:) I'm here also to thank Darren for saving your life, Jane. (Stiffly reaches out and shakes Darren's hand)

DARREN: (Now clearly uncomfortable, returning the handshake:) Well, as I've said, (looks uneasily at Jane:) I'm just glad I happened to be around there when the sinkhole imploded.

TOM: (Resigned, quiet:) Yeah--and I'm glad you were, and I mean that. (Takes a deep breath:) I'm going out of town to finish my vacation.

JANE: (Shows some slight concern:) Oh? Um--anyplace in particular?

TOM: (After a moment:) I'll probably go and see some of my relatives in Palmerville. (Looks at his watch:) Well, I'd better go on. (Turns around:) I'll see you guys later. (Starts to leave)

DARREN: Uh, Tom--could you and I talk before you leave? (Jane raises an eyebrow, while Tom gives Darren an unreadable look) Jane, would you excuse us for a moment, please? (Follows Tom out of the front, shuts the door before Jane can say anything, so Jane goes to the large front window and looks out through the drapes at the two, worried)

Darren and Tom went out to the driveway.

TOM: (Talks in a neutral tone:) What did you want to talk to me about, Darren? (Adds, arches an eyebrow:) As if I didn't know.

DARREN: (Ponders for a second over Tom's words, then speaks plainly:) Tom--I--didn't plan for this to happen with Jane and me--(looks around for words:) it just--did.

TOM: (After a pause, then surprises Darren by chuckling:) Hmm--it usually happens that way. The same thing occurred when Jane and I first met at the Zen. (Note to reader: See "Jane's Addition") Look, Darren--I am angry--but it's at me more than at anybody else, so stop feeling guilty. (Pauses while Darren looks at him, shocked:) After Jane left with Trent following our talk over breaking up, I couldn't sleep at all last night. All I could do is think about what happened between me and her, and of the stupid things that I said to her. She told me that she thought I was controlling her--and after I went back in my mind over what happened between us in the last few weeks, you know, she was right. (Darren simply stares at Tom, deep in thought) All of those dates we had--do you know that I took her for granted? (Frowns:) Damn! Why didn't I see what was happening before it was too late?

DARREN: (Tries to find something to say:) Tom--I--well--

TOM: (Cuts Darren off:) --She liked it, Darren.

DARREN: (Looks at Tom with a perplexed frown:) Liked--what--?

TOM: The kiss she gave you at the Zen. Jane wanted to kiss you. She told me at the end of our talk. I knew then and there that there was no chance of us getting back together again.

DARREN: Yes, she told me she liked it.

TOM: (After a moment:) Yeah, I kind of figured that she did--and I assumed that you did as well.

DARREN: (Hesitates:) Yeah--yeah, I did.

TOM: (Shrugs:) Can't say I don't blame you. Jane was--(looks off for a second:) was one hell of a kisser --one more thing that I took for granted. I'm going to reaccess my life on my vacation, Darren. (Adds:) I can't believe I was such a jerk--how could I have been so stupid? (Pauses:) Look, I'm going to ask you for a favor.

DARREN: (After a moment:) Sure--anything.

TOM: (Sounding very serious:) Take care of Jane for me, okay? That girl is a wonderful person, and you and Daria are lucky to have her in your lives. Can you do that for me?

DARREN: (Sounding sincere:) Yes, Tom--I will. (Adds:) But you don't seem to be such a bad person yourself.

TOM: (Smirks:) Oh, yes I am--otherwise, I'd still be with Jane. (Darren smiles weakly) Take care of yourself. (Turns to go to his beat-up blue Pinto that's parked in front of the Morgendorffer's)

DARREN: (Quietly:) Yeah--you too, Tom. (Watches him get into his car, and it starts up, and leaves its usual trail of smoke, oil, and gas fumes)

Jane watched the conversation between the two and sighed in relief. It looked like they parted ways on decent terms. She was about to go outside when Quinn came downstairs. Both girls stopped and looked at each other awkwardly. Quinn spoke up.

QUINN: (Looks around:) So, um, where's my bro?

JANE: (Motions with her eyes at the front door:) He's--outside with Tom.

QUINN: (Lets out a gasp:) Tom? You mean your ex-boyfriend?

JANE: (Glares at Quinn:) Tom is still my friend, Quinn--it's not like we parted on bad terms. (Thought v.o.: Unlike you and your so-called army of boyfriends--then they come running back for more)

QUINN: (Frowns:) Well, I hope Tom knows what he's getting himself into if he wants to fight Darren, you know?

JANE: (Rolls her eyes:) Quinn, I saw Darren and Tom only talk, and nothing happened.

QUINN: Oh--that's a relief, I guess.

Darren opened the front door and came in.

JANE: (Walks up quietly to Darren:) How--did--how did everything go between you two?

DARREN: (After staring at Jane for a moment:) Actually better than I thought. He's a good person, Jane--I wished it didn't end up like this.

JANE: (Looks down:) Yeah, I know. (Looks back up:) Well, I guess I'll go up and see Daria, then.

DARREN: Sure, but before you do, (looks at Quinn, tosses her his keys:) Quinn, could you wait in my car for me, please?

QUINN: (Looks between the two:) Um, sure, bro. (Leaves, and Darren shuts the door)

JANE: (Raises an eyebrow, curious:) Okay, what's up, Darren?

Darren simply walked up to her and looked at Jane with a slight smile on his face. He put his hand on her cheek, softly caressing it. Jane looked at him, dumbfounded, her heart racing.

DARREN: (In a soft tone:) Nothing--I just wanted to get you alone to do this.

Darren leaned over and kissed Jane deeply, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her up to him, then after a second, Jane began to put her arms around his neck. Unlike the second kiss, in which Jane initiated, (the first one was a total surprise, remember) and then Darren had followed her lead. This time it was Darren who took the lead. After about a minute, the two stopped the kissing.

JANE: (Clearly swept off of her feet, her voice squeaking, looking up at Darren and hugging him around his waist:) Not that I'm complaining, because I'm not--oh hell no, I'm not, but what was that rather passionate kiss for?

DARREN: (Smiles:) Because I find myself beginning to care about you, Jane Lane--don't you forget that. I'll talk to you after I come back with Quinn from Cashman's. (Kisses her lightly on the lips, then speaks to her softly:) See you. (Leaves)

Darren came out to his car with a wide grin on his face, something that Quinn immediately took note of. From all of her dates, she knew of that look, and sighed. Her brother really liked Jane, and she the same about him--as much as she did not like it, she'd have to accept it--more for Darren's sake than Jane's. As Darren got in the car, something on Darren's mouth garnered her attention, and she smirked.

QUINN: Um, Darren?

DARREN: (Looking forward dreamily:) Umm-hmm?

QUINN: (Sounding in a "matter-of-fact" tone:) You've got lipstick on your mouth.

DARREN: (Snaps out of his dream-state:) Eh? (Touches his mouth lightly, looks at his fingers and sees Jane's lipstick, turns red, and then wipes it off furiously:) Ohuhthankssis. (Quickly starts up car, and backs out of the driveway)

Quinn stared at her brother for a second, then giggled. Darren glared at her for a moment, then he slowly broke out into a grin.

Jane could only stare at the door with a dreamy look on her face, having not moved an inch since Darren left.

Daria had come out of her room, looked down directly to the front door, and happened to witness the kiss near the end. She stared at the exchange wide-eyed, and simply said nothing, and was about to go back to her room after she saw Darren left, when she noticed that Jane kept standing there, with that "I'm-in-heaven-and-I've-got-a-goofy-look-because-I've-been-kissed" look on her face. After about another minute, in which Daria found herself looking fasinated at her friend's seemingly rigor mortis type of state, Daria slowly went down the stairs, came up to her best friend, and reluctantly waved her hand in front of Jane's blank-dreamy state face. Daria sighed, and pulled Jane up to her room. Jane blindly followed, still with the same look.

Daria carefully sat a still-entranced Jane on Daria's bed, stared at her a second more, thought for the slightest moment to get a paper bag and pop it close to Jane's ear, then sighed, and started to snap her fingers rapidly. It took about 15 seconds before Jane finally came out of her stupor. Jane blinked, and looked at Daria.

JANE: Oh--uh, yo, Daria! (Looks around:) How in the hell did I get into your room?

DARIA: (Smirks:) I retrieved you from the "Land of Dreamville" while you were "admiring the scenery". (Jane blushes) Looks like you and my bro were "Doin' The Nasty".

JANE: (Laughs weakly, looks sheepish:) Yeah, I-I guess we were, huh? (Pauses:) Uh, I don't know what got into Darren like that, (adds in a low voice, smirks sinisterly:) but I kinda liked it.

DARIA: (Shows a small smile, not quite Mona Lisa:) I'm sure you did, "Ms. Carnality".

JANE: (Looks off again:) Yeah. (Changes her tone, becomes hesitant:) Oh--I meant--to tell you--Tom just came by.

DARIA: (Cocks an eyebrow:) Tom? And he saw you guys together? (Jane nods) Damn. What happened?

JANE: Tom came to thank you for trying to keep me and him together before finishing up his vacation. (Daria looks slightly concerned) Now don't go and get your dandruff up and everything--the conversation was civil between all parties, (narrows her eyes:) although I thought I detected an ever so-slight tone of hostility from Tom. (Adds, sighs:) He also thanked Darren for saving my life.

DARIA: Oh--I have to admit, that was big of him. I guess if I saw my former girlfriend that I just broke up with another guy, I'd be a little peeved myself. (Jane arches her eyebrow, which Daria notices, and smirks:) Hey, now it's my turn to say to you not to get your dandruff up. (Pauses:) Um--are you sure everything's okay with what happened downstairs?

JANE: (Ponders:) Yeah--I think so. Darren went after Tom to talk to him, and I watched--(waits for Daria's reaction:) and nothing happened.

DARIA: (Sighs in relief:) Good--although potentially fasinating, I don't think blood would look too appealing all over our driveway--suffice it to say, Tom's, with my bro knowing martial arts, and all.

Jane smiled at Daria weakly, looked up, and sighed. Daria looked at Jane, perplexed.

DARIA: Okay, what's wrong, Jane?

JANE: (Looks pointedly at Daria:) Damn it, Daria--when are you going to let me have it?

DARIA: (With a confused frown:) Uh--have what?

JANE: (Gets up, walks around in a circle, her arms stretched out:) Releasing your rage at me for holding back what I really felt for your brother after we kissed in the Zen, that's what! Why do I feel that you wanna tell me something?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Ah, you think I'm going to go after you because of that?

JANE: (Looks at Daria uneasily:) Uh--yeah--?

DARIA: (Sighs:) Jane, if that were the case, I would've said something by now. Besides, Darren had said the same thing concerning my feelings about you two to me, more or less. I told Darren it was all right with me, and it was no problem, so stop worrying.

JANE: (Sounding pleased, wipes her forehead:) Great! I'm glad everything's cool.

DARIA: (Smirks:) Not quite.

JANE: (Now confused:) Huh?

DARIA: (Points down:) You know I think your paintings are cool, but what, pray tell, was the deal with that "fuzzy-wuzzy" pro-family crap that you painted downstairs that's hanging up in the living room? I know you said it was a gift, but why'd you have to paint me with my arm hooking Darren's? (Daria pauses, shrugs--Jane can tell that Daria's not too serious in her tone:) Why even paint me at all?

JANE: (Smirks, in her "motherly" tone:) Now, now, dearie--(resumes her normal tone:) I had to get in good with your folks over Darren, right? I had to swallow my pride to do that, and so I wanted to project the image of a family--and low and behold, it worked! (Daria rolls her eyes, while Jane gets a wicked smirk, and speaks in a faux-mocking tone) C'mon--you're gonna tell me that you didn't like to be seen beside a brother that's told you he's proud of his "Little Sister"?

DARIA: (Narrows her eyes, reluctant:) Oh, no you don't--you're not going to hit my soft spot over Darren--I mean, I have a hard-boiled reputation, and I can't afford to get weak-kneed and jelly-backed over a fellow sibling--

JANE: (Cuts her off, sensing something:) --A fellow sibling that's willing to be there for his middle sister, who's willing to help both of his sisters in their future endeavors. A genuinely nice guy--

DARIA: (Holds up her hands:) --Ease up there, "Booster Girl", I get the point. (Pauses:) Okay, I gotta admit, Darren's a--teriffic bro. He sort of --has this--soothing effect on people. (Hesitates, her voice grows very low, looks around, leans over to Jane:) Did you know that when I first told him when you and Tom officially broke up, that I--I--almost--

JANE: (Leans over to Daria, listens intently:) Yeeess--?

DARIA: (Now almost in a whisper, red-faced:) --ItriedtocomforthimbecausehefeltkindofguiltyforthinkinghebrokeyouandTomup.

Jane stared at Daria, slack-jawed, then she began to giggle--loudly. Daria gave her a piercing glare.

JANE: (Covers her mouth, still giggles:) You tried to comfort Darren? (Playfully sneers:) Ohhh, that's soooo cute--does this mean that you're going to join the rest of the human race?

DARIA: (Deadpan, frowns:) I suppose so--it's too bad that you're going to have to leave the rest of the human race after I choke the crap out of you. (She starts to put her hands around Jane's neck, but Jane jumps back, still laughing)

JANE: (Puts her left hand up to Daria while wiping her eyes with her right hand, and getting her laughter under control:) H-hold it, pard. Seriously, I think it's great that you did that--especially since I was the one that created the kissing situation in the first place. Hell, he's your brother, Daria. I do that with Trent--it's one of the fringe benefits of having an older brother who's there for you, so relax, and enjoy it.

DARIA: (Now back to normal, gives a Mona Lisa smile:) Yeah--he has been there for me--and Quinn as well. Maybe that's what made her feel guilty over trying to take advantage of Darren.

JANE: (Shakes her head quickly, makes sure she heard Daria right:) Wait a sec--you said Quinn was trying to take advantage of Darren, and she felt guilty, but they've still gone to Cashman's to get her a dress, courtesy of Darren, despite Helen trying to stop them, and Darren insisting that he do so anyway? (Pauses:) What's going on?

DARIA: (Smirks:) Sit down, and I'll explain--

(The scene is Cashman's, about an hour later)

Darren sat slumped in a chair, exhausted and bored, while Quinn went through what seemed like a ton of dresses. He simply watched her go into the dressing room in the back to try on yet another dress for him to see if he liked. To Darren, a dress was a dress, even if his (adopted) mother did head Circa Fashions--he was only familiar with the business end of the industry, and had left the design details for the experts. He sighed and looked at his watch. Theresa, the saleswoman who had noticed him the very moment he came in with Quinn, and had personally decided to handle the sale, (much to the chagrin of the other salesladies who wanted to do so, and had stolen glances at Darren when they figured he wasn't looking) came to him with a tray of cookies and tea. She had a dreamy look on her face. Darren caught her look, and groaned to himself--here we go again.

THERESA: (Smiles:) I thought you looked kind of tired, Darren, so I got this tray of cookies and tea for you. We usually do this for our customers, you understand. (Sits down the tray, stares at him:) Do you need anything else? (Thought v.o.: Maybe my phone number?)

DARREN: (Looks up at her uneasily, smiling, while making the tea:) Uh, no thank you, but if I do, I'll be sure to call you, Theresa.

THERESA: Okay, Darren--be sure to let me know. I'll see if Quinn needs any help. (Leaves reluctantly)

Darren sighed, and munched on a cookie while watching the dressing room. Come on, sis--pleeease let this be the dress you want, because I can feel myself slowly going insane. He thought about Jane again to pass the time. Why did he kiss her like that? Was it perhaps to reassure her that he cared about her after Tom wanted to make sure that Darren would take care of Jane? Maybe he did it out of some sort of relief after Tom himself told Darren that Darren should not feel guilty for liking Jane? Perhaps it was a little of both? Whatever the case, Darren felt alive for the first time in a long while, considering everything that had happened to him in almost the last three months. His birth family. Jane. Things were finally looking up.

Then he frowned to himself--no they weren't, not at all. There was still the matter of Sanchez, and what he had done, and of "The Lie" he was giving to Daria, the rest of his birth family, and Jane. This had to stop soon. Curtis had already told him that the media were looking for him, the same for Elenor and Claude, and his uncle William. Sooner or later, the media horde would find him, and the secret would be out--what would Jane and the Morgendorffers think then if he did not tell them first? He decided to call Woo tomorrow morning and see if he found anything, for this--this--"waiting" was eating him up from the inside out. He snapped out of his thoughts when a smiling Quinn walked out in a frilly gold silk dress with Theresa. Darren's heart leapt with hope--was this finally the one? He got up and walked over, grinning uneasily.

DARREN: (In a faux-excited mode:) So, er, Quinn--is this the dress you want? It certainly looks fabulous on you--(adds out of hope that his next remark will convince Quinn:) I think that the gold really brings out the cuteness in your eyes.

QUINN: (Gasps, delighted:) You DO, Darren? (Looks at Theresa:) This is definitely the dress that I want, Theresa. Wrap it up for me, would you?

THERESA: (Grins:) Very good, Quinn. (Looks to Darren:) Will that be cash or charge?

Darren suddenly froze. He certainly could use his Northolt Platinum Card, but he chuckled to himself--seeing the name of "Darren Appleton" on his card for the saleslady would obviously expose everything. Nope, cash would be the way to go.

DARREN: (Reaches for his wallet:) Er--cash. How much is it?

THERESA: $800.

DARREN: (Wide-eyed:) EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS?! (Looks down at Quinn:) Quinn, she said $800!

QUINN: (With a smile, singy-songy voice:) Daaaaren! It's a Circa Original! Once I show it to the Fashion Club, they'll be so envious! (Pauses when she sees Darren's uncertain reaction, smirks slightly:) Of, course, if you want me to go back and look for something else--(begins to go back)

DARREN: NO! I mean--no, that's all right, Quinn--I'll--buy the dress. (Looks in his wallet, has only $200 on hand:) Er, is there an ATM machine around--?

THERESA: Oh, yes, Darren--in the front of the store, right where you came in.

DARREN: Oh yes--now I remember. Thank you, Theresa. I'll be back, Quinn. (Leaves)

Darren walked up to the ATM and after looking around quickly, put his card in and punched the "withdraw" button. He came back with the cash, and purchased the dress, much to Quinn's delight. Both walked out of Cashman's and went back to Darren's car. After getting in, Quinn looked over at her brother.

QUINN: (Smiles, in a quiet tone:) Thanks, bro. (Reaches over and kisses him on the cheek:) You're everything a sister can hope to have in a brother.

DARREN: (Looks over to Quinn, grins uneasily:) You're welcome, sis--I hope you take good care of that dress.

QUINN: (Waves him off:) Nah, don't worry, Darren--I'll be the freakin' envy of everyone at Chez Pierre tonight, and I wanna look my best, so you better believe I'm gonna take care of my dress--count on it.

DARREN: (Chuckles:) I guess you will. (Starts up the car)

Darren and Quinn arrived back at the Morgendorffers just in time to start getting ready for their "date". In the meantime, Daria and Jane had talked to Darren as he was getting ready as well, trying to get out of him the price of the dress after seeing Quinn show it to Helen and Jake--just out of curiousity. Darren gave a coy smile, and simply told them to ask Quinn--it was a secret between the two. Daria had been tempted to ask Jane to help her to tie up Darren and force the truth out of him, but upon further thought, she figured that would probably please Jane and her wickedly carnal mind. Ah, it could wait 'till later. Darren came down the stairs dressed in his black dress jacket, tan shirt, and black tie and matching pants, with pointed dress shoes. Daria and Jane were sitting on the middle couch watching Sick, Sad World on the main TV in the living room, while Jake was reading the paper and Helen was working on her cases for her return to work tomorrow. Immediately, Jane saw him come down, and looked at him, smirking wickedly. He was handsome. Very handsome--and he's my boyfriend. Even Daria had to admit her brother looked good--though of course, she'd never admit it out loud. Helen gasped, and looked up from her work, and got off the couch. Jake got up, following Helen. Daria and Jane got up as well. They all gathered around him.

HELEN: (Hugs Darren:) Oh, son--you look wonderful!

JAKE: (Shakes Darren's hand:) Looking good, Big Guy!

DARIA: (Monotone:) You look nice, bro.

JANE: (Walks up to him, still with that wicked smirk, feels his lapel:) Ummm--baby. You do look fine. (Darren, Jake, and Helen turn red-faced, while Daria rolls her eyes)

DARREN: (Smirks at Jane, then looks around:) Thanks, everyone. (Pauses:) Is Quinn ready, yet?

As if on cue, Quinn came down the stairs in her gold dress, with matching gold slippers, a gold purse, and elbow-length black gloves. Her make-up was added just enough to give her a radiant look. (Her hairstyle was simliar to the one she had in the episode "Just Add Water") She came down in a deliberate, slow walk, stopping dramatically at the bottom of the stairs. Daria and Jane looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They knew that Quinn was eating up this attention, and loving every minute of it. Still, even both had to admit that "Princess Grace" was beautiful--in a sickenly cute sort of way. Privately, Jane found herself actually grateful that Quinn was Darren's sister--otherwise, they would make a dynamite couple. Darren and the others walked up to Quinn.

HELEN: Oh, Quinn, you look lovely! (Tries to hug Quinn)

QUINN: (Flinches:) Muh--oom! I've got make-up an' stuff on me, you know?

HELEN: (Chuckles:) I know, but I'm still proud of the way you look!

JAKE: (Smiles:) My little girl! (Thinks about hugging her, but decides against it after seeing what Helen went through)

DARREN: (Speechless:) Quinn? Is that really you? (Quinn giggles) You're stunning!

QUINN: (Now smug:) Yeah, I know!

JANE: (Crosses her arms, feels slightly jealous:) Yeah, you do look like a gold bar, or something. (Quinn frowns slightly, while Darren chuckles)

DARIA: (Smirks:) Careful, sis--you don't want to blind everyone with that shiny gold dress in the restaurant--I mean even the waiters there have to earn a living with their fake French accents, and falling over from the glare of your dress in the lights and spilling their contents on other people won't make their job any easier. (Quinn glares at her)

HELEN: (With "The Look":) Daria--

DARIA: (Gets the message, deadpan:) Eh, you look like a million bucks, sis.

QUINN: (After a second, grudgingly accepts:) Thanks, Daria. (Looks at Darren:) Ready to go, bro?

DARREN: If you are, yes.

Everyone went to the door, and Quinn went out to the car. Darren was about to go, when Jake suddenly pulled him aside.

JAKE: (Puts something in his hand:) Son, here's some money for something to buy--Chez Pierre is awfully expensive.

DARREN: (Looks down in his hand:) Oh, no, that's--

JAKE: (Insistant:) --Now, son--I'm not gonna take no for an answer--show your sister a good time, okay? Don't worry about the time about coming back--I know that you'll protect Quinn.

DARREN: (Shrugs, pockets the money:) Well--sure, okay. (Goes to his car, and opens the door for Quinn, who gets in:) Well, I'll see you all. Jane, I'll call you tomorrow morning, and we can go jogging.

JANE: (Smiles:) Okay, Darren--you two have a good time.

DARIA: (Smirks:) Just don't let Quinn order the whole menu--she'll try out everything under the sun.

QUINN: (Looks out her passenger-side window, frowns:) Daria! That only happened once, and you're never gonna let me forget it!

DARIA: (Smirks:) Isn't that what sisters are for?

HELEN: Daria, that's quite enough. Have a good time, you two.

DARREN: We will. See you. (Starts up the car, and backs out into the street, leaves)

Helen and Jake went back inside, while Daria and Jane stayed outside.

JANE: Well, I'd better take off--it's getting dark.

DARIA: (Cocks eyebrow:) What? No "Bad Movie Night" tonight?

JANE: (Grins:) Nah--gonna do some painting. (Wiggles her eyebrows up an down, smirks:) I'm--"inspired" some more.

DARIA: (Smirks, sarcastic:) Gosh, I wonder who caused that? Okay--see you tomorrow--Darren and I can fill you in on the assorted details of Quinn's "wonderful date".

JANE: (Chuckles:) Later. (Leaves)

Daria watched her friend leave, then walked back into the house.

(End Part Four)