The Daria Episode Guide:
I Don't

One three ton hubby's not enough for this red-hot mammal. The Polygamous Hippopotamus, when Sick, Sad World returns.

Daria's cousin Erin (Helen's sister's daughter) is getting married, so of course Helen makes sure her girls end up as bridesmaids. For some odd reason, Lawndale high is holding a bridal expo in the auditorium at around the same time as a fundraiser for extracurricular activities, which Brittany and Jodie are modeling in. Daria and Jane find this out while a grumpy old bat in the dress shop is altering Daria's bridesmaid dress (contrary to standard practice, the bridesmaids have good looking dresses).
They go to the wedding, located at an incredibly upscale and expensive club (red rum, red rum!). Mack and Kevin sneak into the bridal expo after their girls tell them not too.
Helen's sister's beau turns out to be a boyhood friend of Jake, and her other sister (Amy) turns out to be an older version of Daria. Quinn gets a cute escort, and Daria ends up with a guy who's as monotone as is possible to be. At the expo, Sandi is modeling and Upchuck somehow wrangled the announcer job. As Brittany shows up, Kevin makes a commotion and gets himself noticed, so of course Brittany throws a fit and turns it into a bid for lots of expensive flowers.
Back at the wedding, everyone is suffering through a long ceremony. Quinn seems unaffected, Daria and Jake are bored out of their minds, and Amy makes faces at Daria. At the reception, Quinn is cornered by the minister, who constantly preaches about love. Daria ends up in the ladies room talking to Amy, and they rather hit it off. Back at school, Jodie starts taking Daria's point of view seriously.
At the reception, Daria tells a lot of lies about what she does do the other bridesmaids, and Quinn's escort goes looking for her. Helen drinks and drinks and drinks, until she starts an argument with her sister. The minister keeps hitting on Quinn, and he and Quinn's escort get into a fight, with Quinn watching in delight. Amy and Daria take off to find cheese-fries, and end up at a bowling alley.

Seamstress: Nature didn't see fit to give you much in the way of hips, did she dearie?
Daria: I think I'm going to be ill. Is that a problem for you?

Daria: A bridal Expo? That's a good message to send high-school students.
Jodie: It's a fund-raiser for extracurricular activities.
Jane: I wonder what kind of extracurricular activities would lead to a wedding...

"Jake, we're here to see my family, not to have fun." - Helen ("I Don't")

Mack: When you hear yourself talk, does it make sense to you?
Kevin: Sometimes!

"I don't mind a few dents. But change the radio station and you're a dead man." - Amy ("I Don't")

"We are now entering Hell. Please keep your hands and elbows inside the car." - Daria ("I Don't")

Jake: So, how'd you meet Rita?
Paul: Well, you know, we both love the sea. I have a sailboat...
Jake: And she's a little dinghy!

Lehrman: (mumble mumble).
Daria: Mm hm. What did you say?
Lehrman: Just a little pointless chit-chat. Forget it.

"I'm sorry, what did you say you do? I thought I heard intelligence, and that can't be right." - Lehrman ("I Don't")

"I hate myself in a formal dress. And everyone else, too." - Amy ("I Don't")

Daria: I'm an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance for strange men.
Dafney: Really? Wow.
Lehrman: She's really very good.
Red-haired Bridesmaid: You've seen her?!

"So, it turns out you can go through training and be up there working on the Space Station in under three months. Now I'm just waiting for my Tang." - Daria ("I Don't")

Wraith's Ramblings:
We get some interesting background on Helen's family in this episode, and it's a nice recovery after the disaster of "Quinn the Brain." One of the minor characters even gets the best line of the season so far (Lehrman's line about "that can't be right").
Also see my Rambling of 3-10-98 and 4-12-98.

Sick, Sad World (the site) was created by Wraith