Criminals beware. This detective won't talk... but
you will! Mime and Punishment, next on Sick, Sad World.
Jake's trying to save money by buying bulk-rate steaks. Quinn's
not happy with the idea and mentions that Daria's leaving for college
soon. She adds that Daria should get a scholarship, and Helen agrees.
During this discussion Jake's order is delivered, but it turns out
to be a big box of hot-dogs.
Helen pushes Daria into looking for a scholarship. Daria has Jane
over and they talk while Daria looks for scholarships online. She
finds one for ten thousand dollars being offered by The Wizard Foundation,
essay required to apply.
At school Jodie asks Daria to fill in as an editor on the school newspaper.
This brings up college applications and Daria mentions the Wizard
scholarship, although she isn't enthusiastic about applying.
Daria writes and essay and sends it in. She receives a letter saying
she's been picked as one of a hundred finalists. At school she finds
out that Jodie is also a finalist. Then Charles shows up and announces
he's one as well, although he seems to have found out about the scholarship
on his own.
Jake does his best to use up the hot-dogs. Helen tries to help Daria
and gives her the pamphlet of a guy who'll coach her in how to act
during the interview. At school Charles talks to Daria to try and
find out what she's doing for the interview. He tells her about his
exotic candy dot com, like the Wizard Foundation's founder.
Jodie has lunch with Daria and Jane. Jodie, trying to apologize, tells
Daria about the interviewing coach. Jane isn't at all impressed by
either of them and leaves.
Tom comes over to help Daria practice for the interview. He asks her
a very loaded question, then tells her about Wizard's hiring practices.
He gets upset when she doesn't.
Daria tells Jodie about the Wizard policies. Andrew already knew about
it, but Jodie didn't. Daria suggest that she and Jodie should drop
out. Andrew gives a big speech about how they should stay in, but
they decide to stay in anyway. Their meeting is cut short so Jodie
can make her appointment with the interview coach.
Daria finally signs up for a session with Dr. Denada. He tells her
to "sell the product" and "dress like a winner"
and so on. After she's less than enthusiastic, he asks her if she
even wants the prize. Daria's not certain, but he brushes the moral
ramifications off to talk about her attire.
Daria and Jane have a short talk at school, and Jane gets upset about
Daria entering the contest and sucking up. Then she things Daria insults
her intelligence, so she storms off angry.
Daria, Jodie, and Charles are interviewed together in one of the rooms
at the school. They get typical interview questions, which Jodie and
Charles give fairly typical answers to. Daria, on the other hand,
doesn't, partly mocking the other two and partly mocking the whole
The three hang out after the interview is over, commiserating since
none of them got it.
Daria and Jane talk at lunch the next day. Jane admits to being a
bit jealous about it, and sort of apologizes for the way she had been
Outside Jake's holding a hot-dog eating contest for publicity for
his consulting company.
Quinn: What? If the Fashion Club finds out I'm eating bulk
Daria: Or eating at all.
Jake: That must be the prime rib!
Daria: I just assumed it would be dead, and here it is ringing
"Yeah, like I'm going to fill out a find pound application and
kiss the butts of some review board, just for a few thousand bucks
to go to a school that I'll probably hate anyway... um, not that you
shouldn't do it." -- Jane ("Prize Fighters")
"The whole point of these scholarships is to show how marvelously
well-adjusted you are. You're coming off all observant and honest.
You know, antisocial." -- Jane ("Prize Fighters")
Helen: Daria, did I hear you reading your scholarship essay?
Daria: Judging by how calm you are, I'd say no, you didn't.
Charles: You know, we are in the competition together...
Daria: Actually, we're in it separately.
"Ring the big bell, Daria! Ring the big bell!" -- Andrew
"Squander my million dollar smile on a ten thousand dollar prize?
That's crazy talk." -- Daria ("Prize Fighters")
Mr. Brower: Ms. Morgendorffer, you seem to have a bit of an
attitude problem. Are you trying to sabotage yourself?
Daria: I'm responding to your questions truthfully, so I guess
the answer is yes.
Lots of missed opportunities and unnecessary contrivances. Some humor,
but not much there.
Also see my Rambling of 06-16-2001