The Daria Episode Guide:
One J at a Time

Meet the fly-fishing pathologist who uses human organs as bait. A Liver Runs Through it, next on Sick, Sad World.

The Morgendorffers are sitting down to dinner -- Thai peanut sauce a la Jake over something or other -- when Quinn's rambling tale about her day reveals that a package was delivered for Daria. Daria goes to get it and finds a first edition book, a present from Tom. This triggers a little lecture from Helen about maturity and relationships. Helen then asks Daria to invite Tom over for dinner. Quinn wants to bring along a boyfriend as well, but Helen says only when she gets a steady boyfriend.
Jake has to take the trash out, including his inedible concoction, and finds the garbage cans tipped over, which he blames on "skate punks."
Daria tells Jane about the invite, and mentions she's worried that Tom will belittle Jake. She decides to simply "forget" the whole thing.
Quinn tells her Fashion Club friends about getting a steady boyfriend. After the initial shock Sandi is all for it, so everyone follows along. They try to help her pick a guy, but it goes very slowly.
Quinn works on her list of qualifications. Helen tries to get her to consider something besides looks and popularity, and goes on a little rantlet about Jake. Quinn later ends up interviewing guys at the pizza parlor.
Jake comes home and find his garbage cans tipped again. This time he finds out that it was a squirrel doing it.
Sandi pressures Quinn to pick someone by the weekend. Quinn ends up doing eeny-meeny-meiny-moe on the three Js and ends up picking Jamie.
Helen presses Daria to pick a night for the dinner. When Daria's reluctant, Helen asks if there's a reason she doesn't want Tom over. At this point Jake goes on a rant about catching squirrels and Quinn comes in to announce her boyfriend pick. Helen gets a call from Eric about suing UNICEF and wanders out. Quinn tries to impress Daria with her decision, but Daria just makes Quinn think she's got to spend all her time with her new boyfriend. Helen gets off the phone and promises Daria she'll talk to Jake if Daria invites Tom over.
Quinn gets on the phone with Jamie and spends several hours telling him about eyeshadow. He finally has to go to the bathroom, and when he doesn't answer her question right away she dumps him in favor of Joey.
Quinn later interrupts Sick, Sad World to tell Daria about her boyfriend change. Daria convinces her she should be at Joey's football practice, so Quinn takes off and Daria can finish watching her show.
Later Quinn's talking to Stacy on the phone before a date with Joey. She finds out that there's a "Guys 2 Guys" concert that night. She tells Joey to take her to it instead of the restaurant they planned. Joey says it's sold out and she dumps him for Jeffy.
Tom shows up for the dinner and Daria warns him about Jake. Quinn comes down and tells Daria and Tom not to embarrass her in front of Jeffy. They have some fun with Quinn that results in her nicknaming Jeffy Jeffy-lube as soon as he shows up.
They all sit down and Jake's very happy to have some guys around. He ends up telling everyone about his squirrel problem. Tom and Jeffy sort of egg him on, and when Jeffy mentions that squirrels love peanut butter they all three run off to try it. Quinn gets upset and runs to her room. Helen, having been distracted by a call from Eric, comes back to find only Daria left. She finds out that Daria's been teasing Quinn and goes to talk with her, leaving Daria alone again.
Helen has a talk with Quinn and tells her it's okay not to have a steady relationship.
The guys catch the squirrel and take it outside county lines to release it, singing "Whomp, there it is" as they go. After they release the squirrel, Jeffy mentions a nearby go-cart track, which they immediately head off to.

"Experiment with a little wasabi and the whole world's a critic." -- Jake ("One J at a Time")

Quinn: I'm mature!
Daria: And you have the teddy bear earrings to prove it.

Helen: You know, Daria, dad and I haven't had a chance to really get to know Tom. Why don't you invite him over for dinner?
Daria: Because I haven't taken complete leave of my senses.

Jake: I slave over a hot stove all day, and for what?
Daria: It's to keep him off the streets, right?

"Quinn, if this is your idea of a joke, perhaps you should look up the word 'huh' in the dictionary." -- Sandi ("One J at a Time")

Helen: You know Quinn, look and popularity aren't really what's important in a relationship.
Quinn: Then what is?
Daria: The ability to fix major appliances.
Quinn: Hmm. Yes, I can see that.

Quinn: If I were stranded on a deserted island, what is the one item you'd bring me?
Joey: A boat! With flares and lifeboats and the Coast Guard and, and the Navy!
Quinn: Wrong, wrong, wrong. The correct answer is sunscreen.

Tiffany: This is the hardest and most important decision you'll ever have to make.
Quinn: I know! Stacy, do you still have that magic 8 ball?
Stacy: Um...

Helen: Daria, I'll make you a deal. I'll have a talk with your father about his conduct, you call tom about dinner.
Daria: Didn't our deals used to involve cash?

Helen: Daria! How could you mislead your sister like that?
Daria: Mother. How could I not.

"But you said Daria was really mature to be in a relationship, so if I'm not in a relationship that makes me unmature. Or im." -- Quinn ("One J at a Time")

Wraith's Ramblings:
Starts off great, but falls in the end.
Also see my Rambling of 05-26-2001

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