Why are so many Siamese twins being born in this Bangkok
hospital? Babes in Thailand, tonight on Sick, Sad World
Mr. O'Neill is so excited by the current class book, Call of the
Wild, that he decides to hold a camping trip. Daria and Jane are far
less than excited by the idea, and don't sign up until Helen, wanting
some quality time with Jake, bribes her to go. Quinn was just so excited
about the idea she didn't need a bribe.
Quinn way overpacks, ending up with three large bags for an overnight
trip, all full of clothing and accessories. Sandi and Quinn have their
usual bickering, especially after Quinn shows off some of her new
When they get to the end of the road and get ready to start hiking,
Mr. O'Neill puts Joey, Jeffy and Jamie in charge of the field supplies,
and Ms. Li breaks out a huge old video camera she immediately foists
off on Mr. O'Neill. Ms. Li is gunning for some money from "Extreme
Sports Mania Worldwide Inc." Quinn discovers she can't handle
her bags, and gets Joey, Jeffy and Jamie to carry them for her, although
this means they can't be bothered with the field supplies. Mr. O'Neill
runs into big difficulty on the hike, partly due to the weight of
the camera, and partly due to his intense allergies, and Ms. Barch
ends up having to give him a tow.
Helen and Jake get to their cabin and don't start things off well,
but then Jake notices the bearskin rug and all is well for a bit.
On the hike, Ms. Barch has faltered, and Mr. DeMartino is now having
to tow both her and Mr. O'Neill, whom she is carrying. They're far
from their camp, and Ms. Li is occupied in calculating her corporate
sponsorship deals, when it starts snowing.
Mr. O'Neill heads back to the busses to look for his inhaler, and
Ms. Li sets off after him, wanting to reclaim her camera, which leaves
Mr. DeMartino in charge, as Ms. Barch is still recovering from helping
They get to their camp, a cabin, and Mr. DeMartino goes looking for
firewood. Ms. Barch is in charge of the class, but snatches a sleeping
bag and tries to warm up. Kevin and Brittany fight, and Jodie discovers
that their supplies are still down at the busses, which almost gets
Quinn lynched, and does get her kicked out of the Fashion Club.
Helen and Jake's intimacy problems are still problems, and after an
initial burst of lust they're pretty much lost on what to do.
Mr. DeMartino sends Mack and Kevin out to look for Ms. Li and Mr.
O'Neill. Mr. DeMartino announces that he's going out looking for help,
so Daria and Jane volunteer to go too, just to avoid being trapped
with their classmates. Mr. DeMartino quickly falls down a cliff, leaving
Daria and Jane to find their own way. Back in the cabin, Quinn passes
around bits of designer camping gear, and gets let back in the Fashion
In their cabin, Helen and Jake are really just sitting around, not
even talking, when a half-frozen Mr. DeMartino stumbles in. They immediately
force him into a game of charades. He tries doing "Need Help,"
something he just said, but they don't get it.
Mack, after somehow losing Kevin, runs into Ms. Li, who's studying
a huge pair of smiley-face boxers on a branch outside a cave. They
go in after Mr. O'Neill, who's in fine shape now that the snowstorm
has pulled all the pollen out of the air.
Daria and Jane manage to survive the storm, but have got a little
lost and end up at the cabin Helen and Jake are at, and run into them
and Mr. DeMartino playing charades outside. Since the storm is over,
everyone goes home... except Kevin, who gets left behind.
Mr. O'Neill: Class, in my hands, I hold a piece of paper which
has the potential to open up a world of positive experiences.
Daria: Mandatory home-schooling legislation?
"We kept marching and singing and marching and singing about
some freak named John Jacob Jingleheimer somebody." -- Jane ("Antisocial
"I've been seeing an intimacy counselor to promote growth and
togetherness in our relationship. It was just easier to schedule if
I went alone." -- Helen ("Antisocial Climbers")
Quinn: And, it comes with a matching snakebite kit.
Tiffany: But... why would you bite a snake?
Ms. Barch: Hurry up, girls. You don't want to get left behind.
Jane: You mean it's an option?
"I know, Quinn, why don't you convert one of your mittens into
a luggage carrier?" -- Sandi ("Antisocial Climbers")
Kevin: Hey, babe, I got a surprise for you.
Kevin: Oh! You guessed it.
Ms. Li: We'll have no problem reaching base camp before dark,
as long as there are no more surprises.
Kevin: Hey, check it out: snow angel!
Mack: You might want to wait until there's a little more snow
on the ground.
Jane: Is it bad if I can't feel my feet?
Daria: That depends. How much do you enjoy walking?
"It's not the money that hurts; it's having that damn apocalypse
postponed again." -- Jane ("Antisocial Climbers")
"The rest of you conserve your energy. Do as little as possible.
Pretend you're in class!" -- Mr. DeMartino ("Antisocial
Mr. DeMartino: Once you walk out those doors, you may not
be coming back.
Daria: Okay. Then we're all on the same page.
Mr. DeMartino: Very well, but dress for survival.
Daria: Well, I was going to dress for perishing, but okay.
Ms. Li: I think Mr. O'Neill may be in this cave. Let's investigate.
Mack: Um, all right. But I hope he didn't make any other flags.
Jane: Do you think we should feel guilty about leaving our
classmates stranded in the wild?
"I came to the realization that given a choice between sharing
shelter with my fellow students or risking death by blindly marching
into a blizzard, it's blizzard ho for me." -- Daria ("Antisocial
Weak storyline that seems very familiar, but lots of good lines from
Daria and Jane.
Also see my Rambling of 11-7-00.