When he turned up his nose at accordion lessons, they
cut off his inheritance molto allegro. The Severed Pianist, next on
Sick, Sad World
Daria is getting driving lessons from Helen, and nearly runs over
a dog when it approaches from her side of the car. Helen asks her
about it, and Daria admits she doesn't have very good peripheral vision
thanks to her glasses, which prompts Helen to try to goad her into
Daria starts to really consider the idea, and tries to talk to Jane
about it. Jane kind of brushes it off as not part of the "whole
Daria Morgendoffer persona." Daria then goes to Quinn for some
advice, but Quinn can't handle Daria's comments on hypocrisy and Daria
can't handle Quinn trying go from contacts vs. glasses to a complete
Then Helen gets a letter from Amy, about Amy's vacation to Hawaii.
This gives Daria the idea that Amy could help her, so she gives Amy
a call to get some advice on getting contacts.
Helen finally gives up on the contacts, but Daria decides to give
it a try anyway.
Daria shows up for school at Jane's house wearing her contacts, and
expects Jane to say something about it, but it takes Jane a couple
hours to wake up properly, and doesn't really mind.
That day in Mr. O'Neill's class, Mr. O'Neill is searching desperately
for a decent answer to his questions, and says he wishes Daria were
there, not recognizing her without her glasses. She speaks up, and
Mr. O'Neill tries to be supportive of her decision but he can't quite
put it properly. Then Ms. Li barges in with an announcement about
the fingerprint kit being stolen, and has basically the same conversation
with Daria, in which she gets defensive and says the contacts are
Brittany and Kevin congratulate Daria on her new look, and Daria makes
some sarcastic comment about not wanting her glasses to make her too
smart, which Kevin immediately picks up on, so he and Brittany get
glasses in the hopes of getting smarter.
The contacts really start irritating Daria's eyes, so Jane has to
guide her home.
Daria has a weird nightmare about a hall of mirrors, and after she
gets up finds that her eyes are still too irritated for her to wear
the contacts. However, she also decides to skip the glasses, and try
going without for a day, which leads her to bump into just about everyone.
Daria finally admits to Jane that she isn't wearing contacts. Jane
makes a teasing comment about lending Daria her lipstick, and Daria
runs off and hides in the bathroom.
Jane tracks her down, and Daria tells Jane her worries about being
a hypocrite. Then Jodie comes in and gets the story, and then Brittany
shows up. No one really wants to talk to her, but she says something
that manages to get Daria to calm down some.
Daria and Jane talk it out after school, over pizza, and Daria decides
to go back to her glasses. She then has to tell Helen when she catches
them on the way home and offers Daria an unscheduled driving lesson.
"I couldn't live with myself if I hit a dog. Would you mind telling
Quinn I killed him?" -- Daria ("Through a Lens Darkly")
Helen: (enters room) Daria?
Helen: But contacts are better for some things. Like driving,
Daria: You mean I'll finally make the wrestling team?
Daria: I almost killed a dog yesterday.
Jane: Going to work you way up to humans slowly?
"Daria, you're giving me a headache!" -- Quinn ("Through
a Lens Darkly")
"Dear sis, you'd love island live. Beautiful sun, wonderful
people, umbrella drinks up the kahanalea. Only thing is you'd have
to take a vacation. Oh well, sorry I brought it up. My love to all,
Amy." -- Helen ("Through a Lens Darkly")
"Well then, you're already going to hell, so you might as well
get the lenses. You'll see the brimstone better." -- Amy ("Through
a Lens Darkly")
Ms. Li: Class, I have some extremely disturbing news. Someone
has apparently pilfered the school's fingerprinting kit. Ms. Morgendorffer?
Daria: It wasn't me. I much prefer fiber spectro-analysis.
Daria: Do you think contacts reveal the you-ness inside?
Jane: I don't know. Who's Eunice and why doesn't she get her
Charles: You'll be back. They all come back.
Jane: Name two.
Charles: I could!
Daria: I can see that, funny gal.
Jane: How many fingers?
Daria: I've got one for ya.
"Daria? Daria? Talking toilet? Daria's boots, can you tell me
where Daria is?" -- Jane ("Through a Lens Darkly")
"I don't blame you. Why settle for vanity when you can have
pure egotism? You're a twisted little cruller, ain't 'cha?" --
Jane ("Through a Lens Darkly")
Daria starts questioning her appearance. Hm. Okay, it actually worked
okay up until she decided to go to school without her glasses or contacts,
which seems a little too foolish for her. Other than that, a pretty
Also see my Rambling of 10-29-00.