SSW Reporter: The world's largest nativity scene... in August? Atlanta mall manager, Gifford Jones.
Jones: Nativities mean Christmas, and Christmas means revenue. Don't have to be a wiseman to figure that out.
SSW Reporter: The savior went down to Georgia, tonight on Sick, Sad World.

Daria gets approached on the street by two people claiming to be the Saint Patrick's Day leprechaun and Cupid. They say they're on a secret mission, and ask Daria to help them get Christmas, Halloween, and Guy Fawkes Day to return with them to Holiday Island, who left to start a band. Daria asks them to prove that they're who they claim, and Cupid gets her to say the name of who she's got a crush on (Trent, of course). Daria runs home, and they follow.
Helen and Jake are worried about her running home like that, but Cupid comes up to the window and zaps them with his tazer of love, and they forget all about Daria. Helen and Jake start kissing and being generally affectionate towards each other, which really worries Quinn, who decides they're trying to have a baby. The two holidays then bug Daria in her room, and she finally agrees to help them.
Daria goes over to Jane's house and tells her all about it. She accepts everything, and as soon as Trent walks in she asks if he knows of any new bands. He does, and the three holidays walk in behind him, they've picked Trent for their guitarist. Daria ends up taking everyone out for pizza, where Jane gets fond of Guy Fawkes Day, especially his slang. Then Cupid and the leprechaun show up, but Daria refuses to help them any more. Christmas (he prefers X), Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day all decide to crash at Daria's.
Quinn starts complaining to Sandi about her parents, and decides to follow them around to make sure nothing happens. She gets so little sleep that she looks horrible and gets put on temporary leave from the Fashion Club.
Cupid and the leprechaun go to Lawndale High and try to find someone else to help them. After approaching Kevin and Brittany they decided that they really need Daria. Cupid and the leprechaun take Daria and Jane out to the mall and try to convince them that life would be horrible without the holidays, but Daria and Jane's relentless cynicism is more than a match for them.
Daria and Jane go back to Daria's house, where the have an argument with the holidays. Then Helen and Jake come in and do nothing more than race to their bedroom. Daria decides then that she needs to get rid of those freaks, and rescues Cupid and the leprechaun, who take her and Jane to Holiday Island, which very much resembles a high school. It turns out that Halloween and Christmas were the two "big fish" of the school, and now that they're gone President's Day has taken over.
Daria gets an idea, so she tells the band she's found a paying gig for them. She gets them to go play at the Holiday Island High School prom. It ends up being a big success, but Trent can't stick around. Luckily one of the Presidents plays harpsichord (acoustic and electric).
Daria gets home just as Cupid's love spell is wearing off and Jake and Helen are arguing about not being pregnant, an argument Quinn triggered.

"The more debased they become, the less reason there is to celebrate them; that means the less reason for my family to get together, until presto, I'm finally alone on Thanksgiving with a TV dinner." -- Jane ("Depth Takes a Holiday")

Leprechaun: That girl mustn't know about us.
Daria: Right. Because you can't be seen by other mortals.
Leprechaun: Seeing's okay, it's having to talk to that little twit that'd drive us crazy.

Leprechaun: I'm warning ya, this is gonna screw up the natural order!
Jane: That's Daria's life mission.

Wraith's Ramblings:
Ouch. I think someone was poking my brain through my eyeballs. I don't understand how this episode ever got made. It is totally inappropriate for the series, and doesn't even have the redeeming grace of being funny. Avoid with extreme prejudice.
Also see my Rambling of 10-29-00.