The Daria Episode Guide:
Write Where it Hurts

Breast implants for chickens...

Jake starts the day with a hankering for kitchen-sink stew, but way over-spices it, while Daria reads a book about how writers should write books (for Mr. O'Neill's class).
Mr. O'Neill, in talking about the book with his class, again has to turn to Daria to explain it to the rest of them. He then tells everyone to pick a book from some list and analyze its moral intentions, but Daria has already read all the books. Mr. O'Neill is about to let her pick another book, but then suddenly decides to have her write a story with moral dimensions. He suggests a story based on people she knows, which ends up giving Daria writer's block.
Her first effort, triggered by Jane, is a wedding between Kevin and Brittany that gets interrupted by Jane, who runs off with Kevin, which pleases Brittany. The second, likewise triggered by Jane, is a sort of Victorian not-quite-romance where Daria and Quinn scare off Joey, Jeffy, Jamie, Trent and Jesse by talking about marriage.
Helen tries to help Daria out, but gets interrupted by an opposing lawyer trying to make a deal. Then Helen makes the mistake of bringing up Quinn ("When Quinn has a challenge") which rightly pisses Daria off, so she storms off to her room. Daria then is inspired to write a story where Helen and Jake a lot like the hippies they used to be and tell Quinn off for being shallow, who just about breaks down with guilt over not being able to live up to her sister's example.
Daria tries to talk to Jane about it, but really has trouble expressing herself. Then she writes a Shakespearean story about Jake and Helen. She ends up talking to Mr. O'Neill about her writer's block, and he suggest making the story include a card game. Daria then writes the same Shakespearean story, only with Jodie and Mack and a card-game.
Helen finally sits down and has a talk with Daria. Helen suggest that Daria try writing what she'd like to see. Daria then writes a story about herself and her family several years in the future, where she's a successful, married writer, Quinn's settled down with Jamie (and a large number of children) and both Helen and Jake have mellowed out. To include the cards, they all sit down and play a game of hearts.

Helen: Reading something?
Daria: Yes.
Helen: May I ask what it is?
Daria: It's a book.

Helen: Daria, do you have to look at everything in such a negative light?
Daria: Could you possibly be referring to the harsh light of reality?

"I believe Mr. Gartner feels it's the writer's duty to steer the reader towards more conscientious behavior, no matter how dull that makes the story." -- Daria ("Write Where it Hurts")

Daria: Mr. Lane's temperament, outlook, indeed his very manners are such as to arouse bemusement rather than endearment in the object of his attentions.
Quinn: Huh?
Daria: He's flaky.

"This is an extra assignment, just for me. A punishment for being smart." -- Daria ("Write Where it Hurts")

"How can you talk to me about Quinn? She'll never have this kind of problem. It involves thinking. You make me tell you what's wrong, in between calls, and then you bring up Quinn?" -- Daria ("Write Where it Hurts")

Jane: Let me get this straight. You're telling me you want to write something, not just anything, that says something, about something?
Daria: Right.
Jane: Gee, who'd ever believe you're having trouble communicating.

"No, I've written a lot of stuff, but it's not up to my standards. And that disturbs me, because I don't have standards." -- Daria ("Write Where it Hurts")

"But I like going over my will, it's got all that money!" -- Jake ("Write Where it Hurts")

"Well, there is some pleasure in winning awards for saying the same things that made me an outcast in high school." -- Daria ("Write Where it Hurts")

Jane: Well, listen, now that you've got such a great attitude and everything, can I have your boots?
Daria: Yeah. Turn around and I'll give you one right now.

Wraith's Ramblings:
Not a hilarious episode, but a good one focusing on Daria's character, and somewhat on her family life (although it would have taken a much longer episode to go into that properly). A good end to the season.

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