Are fish using our oceans as their own private toilet?
A Sick, Sad World exclusive, right after this.
The school holds a "inter-disciplinary" paintballing trip, and they
need adult volunteers. Quinn and Daria decide to not tell their parents
about the trip, but Quinn breaks (takes about ten seconds), and blabs
about the trip. Helen asks if volunteers are needed, but the girls
Stuck going on the trip (Mr. O'Neill trying to get the bus to sing
"When Jonny Comes Marching Home"), Jane tries to get Daria to skip
it and go visit "The Great White Shark." Daria declines. Meanwhile,
the Fashion Club pledges not to shoot at each other on a copy of Waif
magazine - and Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie pledge to protect Quinn. When
Helen and Jake show up at the paintball field, Daria decides she should
have gone to see the shark. Mr. O'Neill and Mr. DeMartino give speeches,
then the teams split up to start.
Mrs. Barch scares off Mr. O'Neill, and starts to take over, but Brittany
shows an unexpected military ability. Jane is immediately shot out
of the game. Helen, of course, gets a call from the office in the
middle of the game. Jane then shoots out Daria, and Daria complains
about it taking too long. Quinn chats up the Fashion Club (sans Sandy),
and they - hiding in a bunker - see someone walking up, and shoot
at her (thinking it's Quinn's 'cousin'). They end up pasting Sandy,
who returns fire and gets them all. Sandi complains, but Staci and
Tiffany support Quinn.
Mr. DeMartino and Kevin (in his football helmet) try to capture the
red flag, but get ambushed by Brittany and Mrs. Barch. Daria and Jane
walk off to "The Great White Shark" as it starts to rain. When they
get to "The Great White Shark" they meet some woman who points out
a tooth and starts telling them the story to "Jaws." Mrs. Li and Helen
start bonding about age perception, Mr. O'Neill and Mrs. Barch get
stuck in the same tent, with Mr. O'Neill acting as a hate-sink for
Mrs. Barch. Jake and Mr. DeMartino end up in the same tent and reminisce
about Military School. The rest of the class hide out in the mock-up
of the Hanoi Hilton and turn it into a normal party, complete with
spin-the-paintball-rifle. Tiffany starts kissing up to both Quinn
and Sandy, obviously thinking they're going to fight about the Presidency
of the Fashion Club.
Mrs. Li and Helen start complaining about each others affect on the
children. Daria and Jane head back to the camp when the rain lets
up. Mrs. Barch literally jumps Mr. O'Neill. Mr. Demartino and Jake
get drunk and complain about their parents. Sandy heads off to find
the bathroom, and Quinn waits to ambush her with a paintball gun,
but the busses start to leave, so she goes off with them. Quinn tricks
Mr. O'Neill into leaving without Sandy, and Mrs. Li steals the distributor
cap from the Morgendorffer's car.
"I'm sorry, the maximum occupancy is one. Please exit through the
front." -- Daria ("The Daria Hunter")
Helen: Jake, tell Daria...
Jake: Oh my gosh, I forgot to fix that loose floorboard, way
at the other end of the house.
"Thank you, Mr. O'Neill, for your tireless dedication in reminding
the students how out of touch we are." -- Mr. DeMartino ("The
Jamie (to Quinn): I really want to take a bullet for you.
Mrs. Barch: Oh, if only you could.
"I can't shoot my own mother. Not with paint, anyway." -- Daria
("The Daria Hunter")
Mr. DeMartino: Alright, Kevin, do you think that atrophied,
pea-sized cluster of cells you refer to as your brain can remember
the complicated instructions I just gave you?
Kevin: Um... get the flag?
Mr. DeMartino: Madam, I believe you've got me confused with
someone else. I'm not your ex-husband!
Mrs. Barch: I know that. But he's not here!
"Good. I was feeling too dry." -- Daria (as it starts to rain) ("The
"Of course, it isn't easy raising two teenagers all by yourself...
with Jake." -- Helen ("The Daria Hunter")
A good episode, heavy on the war movie references, but with a lot
of interaction from the supporting characters (although still not
enough Mack and Jodie scenes). Daria and Jane aren't very prominent
in this episode, but the Fashion Club rivalry between Sandi and Quinn
Also see my Rambling of 2-24-98.