Meet the avant-garde obstetrician that's turned his
cast offs into art work. Umbilical cord sculpture next, on Sick, Sad
The roof of the school library collapses during a storm (probably
due to Ms. Li misappropriating funds to get a lie-detector), and Ms.
Li decides to hold a fund-raiser to fix it, a Medieval Faire. She,
as usual, makes voluntary participation mandatory.
Brittany decides to be in a play, and forces Kevin to practice with
her. Quinn decides, after some popularity comments by Brittany, that
she's got to be in a play too. Helen tries to force Daria to go, so
Daria guilts Helen and Jake into going, which has the added bonus
of embarrassing Quinn.
Sandi won't have anything to do with the play until she finds out
Quinn is trying out for it, at which point she immediately decides
to try out as well.
Quinn goes to Jake for help with her lines and some support, but he
goes off on a rant about being laughed off stage.
Mr. O'Neill holds the tryouts, and selects Kevin and Quinn to play
the leads (Palimon and Emily), which makes Brittany very jealous.
She volunteers to drive him to the Fair so he can practice his lines,
but ends up driving him off to the middle of nowhere.
Helen and Jake run into Linda Griffin at the fair, and she and Helen
engage in their usual rivalry.
Mr. DeMartino takes up shop as the Black Knight, playing a jousting
game and thoroughly enjoying knocking the snot out of his students.
Ms. Barch takes up fortune-telling, and Charles runs around as a minstrel.
Mrs. Bennett dresses up as a witch and sits in one of those dunking
games, and Sam and Chris show up with very good aim, and the Fashion
Club runs a bake-sell table, with Jodie manning the Information Booth
and Mack stuck dressed up as a Dragon being pummeled on by little
Stacy gets stood up by her date, and can't stop crying. Sandi and
Tiffany aren't very understanding, so she wanders off and ends up
getting on the Ferris Wheel with Daria and Jane.
Mr. O'Neill starts to panic when Kevin doesn't show up, and ends up
putting Jeffy on in his place. Unfortunately, Jeffy doesn't know the
role, and reads the wrong part from the book The crowd starts laughing,
which prompts Jake to stand up and complain, which starts a food-fight
(it's dinner theater).
Daria and Jane manage to survive their time stuck with Stacy, and
Jodie runs up to ask them to take over the Information Booth for her
while she helps out with the riot in the auditorium. Daria and Jane
have fun telling stories of medieval history (like the Black Plague)
to the crowd of children that gather in front of the booth.
Mr. O'Neill: Now, why do you think it is that
Tolstoy felt he had to make War and Peace so darn... unpleasant? Daria?
Daria: So no one would pester him to do a sequel?
Ms. Li: I have a very sad announcement. The library
will be closed until further notice.
Daria: Great, there goes the only place I can go to be alone.
Jane: Oh, you know that's not true.
Daria: That may be the stupidest thing I've ever
Jane: I know. We've gotta go!
Helen: Daria, this Fair is for a good cause.
Everyone should go.
Daria: Are you going?
Jake: Quinn, honey, it really wasn't that bad.
After a few months the teasing tapered off...
"I will make a dainty garland for my neck and choke."
-- Daria ("Fair Enough")
Quinn: For your information, Daria, she volunteered
to drive him so he could work on his lines.
Daria: Did she volunteer to get him a dainty transplant for
his head so he could remember them?
"Mr. White, if you'll just sign this wavier absolving
Lawndale High of any responsibility for your accidental death, we
can start the fun!" -- Ms. Li ("Fair Enough")
Jane: Should we get our fortunes read?
Daria: I'll pass. Knowing the present is bad enough.
"What do you think happened to the rest of this
turkey?" -- Jake ("Fair Enough")
Jane: Uh-oh, someone has just put us in a position
Daria: The day has suddenly turned sinister.
This episode focuses more on the minor characters than Daria, but
she's in it more than she was in "The Daria Hunter". Charles
works particularly well, and Andrea actually gets another line (delivered
Also see my Rambling of 10-22-00.