The Daria Episode
They bake cookies by day, but they really heat up at night. G-string grandmas, today on Sick, Sad World.
Tonight on Sick, Sad World; prime-time special, with people just like you, only more pathetic.
Quinn wants to go on a date with Skyler, but has a baby-sitting job
the same night. Daria takes the baby-sitting job to escape Couple's
Counseling night at her house. She gets Jane to come along to do homework,
specifically a history paper about cults.
Mr. DeMartino: Can anyone give me another example of
a group using coercive techniques such as peer pressure, chanting,
and social isolation to achieve control over it's members? Brittany?
Jane: She'll never have to worry about mind-control.
"She's well liked among classmates of both sexes. And yet, strangely, she turns my stomach." - Daria ("Pinch Sitter")
"Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." - Daria ("Pinch Sitter")
Quinn: Six bucks an hour!
"But, if I baby-sat for you, then technically I'd be doing you a favor. And that simply cannot be." - Daria (Pinch Sitter)
"You know, I used to wear miniskirts. But life goes on." - Helen ("Pinch Sitter")
Mr. Guptie: Were you planning on having
a boyfriend in the house? Because, ha, we don't allow that.
Daria: Ten dollar surcharge if I have to
spend more than fifteen minutes with the parents.
Jake: Hey Daria, where ya goin? It's
Couples Therapy Night.
Daria: Hi Mrs. Kewpie.
Daria: Okay, you can drop the angel act.
Daria: Do you always believe everything grownups
Jane: (answering phone) Yo.
Tricia: Tad dropped a spore!
"All hail, Pippi Longstocking. Hey, Trent, come look at this!" - Jane ("Pinch Sitter")
"I used to help with my sister Summer's kids... till they got old enough to run away." - Jane ("Pinch Sitter")
"And the dish ran away with the spoon. But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize the marriage as legal." - Jane ("Pinch Sitter")
Tricia and Tad: (In unison) I am cool and that
is it, and everyone else is full of... full of... full of...