The Melancholy of Daria Morgendorffer

In response to an Iron Chef posted by The Angst Guy on PPMB.

The challenge was “What kinds of Daria crossovers have not yet been tried that would be worth doing?”

Usual disclaimers apply.

As conversation goes, the question barely qualifies. But if you ask me if I ever believed in Santa Claus, the answer is definitely no. I'd like to think that the idea of a jolly fat man passing out presents would have raised my skepticism anyway, but this one was largely due to my parents. Free-minded hippies, who didn't believe in lying to their kids. You can bet that raised some fun discussions with the other kids in kindergarten.

On the other hand, things like homeopathy, crystal energy, and chakras were right up their ley-line. Thanks the the Santa incident, my skepticism was engaged fully by this point, and I somehow never followed in their footsteps.

On the other hand, if you had asked me about aliens, time travelers, psychics or dimensional travelers... let's just say my family had a large science-fiction book collection from somewhere, and I was always hoping to meet some of these things.

By the time I entered high school, of course, I knew fact from fiction. I wasn't exactly looking forward to high school life, but it promised a change. One step closer to being able to get out and do what I really wanted. I had decided my high school life was going to be exactly what I wanted it to be... as little a distraction from my art as possible.

For the first year, it fit my expectations to a T. Then she appeared.

It was near the start of my second year of high school. So far, this year was shaping up to be the same as last. The first change seemed minor, and happened in Mr. DeMartino's history class. Mr. DeMartino didn't show up until just after the bell rang, which was rare enough to be noticed. When he came in, he was followed by a girl I had never seen before. Good looking, but dressed to hide it. Glasses that did nothing to hide her blazing gaze. Long, wavy auburn hair tied back with a simple yellow ribbon. Shit-kicker boots that had obviously been well broken in.

Then he made the announcement.

"Class, today we have a new student joining us. Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"My name is Daria Morgendorffer. I'm not interested in normal humans. If you're an alien, an esper, a time traveler, or a slider, come to my side."

Were we supposed to laugh now? No, she was completely serious. She glared out over the class, hands on her hips, waiting for a response. Even Mr. DeMartino was nonplussed for a moment.

"Um. Yes. Please, take your seat. Over there." Front and center, of course. The seat no-one else had wanted.

The new girl nodded briefly and took her seat.

Oh, yeah. I was going to be seeing her again. No question about that. Self-esteem class after school.

I had no idea how my life was just about to change.