Disclaimer: Daria and all related characters are the property of MTVproductions.
isclaimer: South Park and all related characters including Chef Aid
are the property of Comedy Central or whomever actually came up
with the show.
WindyTravels
By Steve Mitchell
(It is some time in July. The weather is hot and humid.)(we see Jane,
Daria, Trent and Jesse down in the basement of Jane's house where it is nice and cool.)(Trent and Jesse are seen replacing broken strings on their guitars) ( Daria and Jane are planted in front of a floor fan
hogging the breeze)
Jesse: We've got to find a place to buy better strings. These keep breaking.
Trent: Yea, but the best place to get them closed down a few months ago.
Jane: Why don't you borrow the strings from your old guitar?
Trent: Did that already. Now we're stuck with these ones we get from mail order.
Daria: (Busy cleaning her glasses with her sleeve) Oh well, what are
you gonna do.
(Trent and Jesse finish replacing the strings and tune their guitars)
Trent: (as he is plucking at the strings of his guitar)(thoughtfully)
Hey Janie, You and Daria want to come with us to a music festival next week?
Jane: (Jane perks up) Music festival? I don't remember hearing anything about a music festival.
Jesse: It's out of state. Chef aid or something.
Daria: Chef aid?? They couldn't come up with a more original name than that?
Trent: Who knows. Anyway It's supposed to benefit some old guy named
Chef. There's supposed to be some cool bands there. Maybe we can get a spot on the line up.
Jane: I guess it sounds cool. How about you Daria?
Daria: (Thinking) (Urge to kill.... rising) mm... I guess so.
Trent: Cool. That just leaves one problem.
(Daria and Jane roll their eyes and dig into their pockets for gasmoney)
Jane: Jesus, Trent you have to find your self a job. You know...It
falls under the category of EMPLOYMENT.
(Trent merely raises an eyebrow at this)
Jesse: ( Faking oblivious) What's this employment I keep hearing about?
(Cut to Daria's room later that day. Jane is their with her easel
painting a caricature of Daria riding a chromed out vintage Harley
Davidson in black jeans, a white t-shirt, and sunglasses with her hair
tied back while Trent is riding on the rear.)
Jane: (shows the painting to Daria) What do you think? I call it "What
she'd really like. Honestly"
Daria: You show that to Trent and I'll bury your body with this
painting crammed up your ass.
Jane: Face first I hope. I want the world to be able to KISS that ass of mine.
Daria:(shakes her head) No Dice.
Jane: (Chuckles) Your no fun you know that.
Daria: Sure I am. Turn around and I'll show you how MUCH fun I can be.
(Lifts her boot as if ready to kick)
Jane: (out loud)Relax, I won't SHOW it him.(To herself) but if he FINDS it that'll be a different story.(out loud) Anyway, on a different note. Did you ask your parents if you can come with us on Monday?
Daria: Not yet, but given the way they acted when we all went to
alternapalooza I don't think it will be a problem.
Jane: Speaking of which, Did you ever find out what your parents where
going to do with all that pancake batter?
Daria: No, I was afraid to ask for fear of spontaneous Nausea.
Jane: (Interested) I see. Does princess grace know?
Daria: About spontaneous Nausea? I sure hope so. She's one of the main
causes of it in this house.
Jane: No, I mean about the trip.
Daria: Oh.... No, why?
Jane: Oh it's nothing. I just figured she would be trying to find a way to make your life a living hell over the whole thing. I mean, Your leaving the house on a road trip going to a festival for a week. Oh Wait a minute, that would make her happy wouldn't it?
Daria: Oh yea.
( A Knock is heard at the bedroom door.)
Daria: Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Helen:(pokes her head Through the door) Daria, dinners almost ready. Is your friend going to be eating?
(Daria gives Jane a look that say's hey, it's your funeral)
Jane: Um, yea I guess so.
Helen: Great, see you in five.
(Helen closes the door and heads back down stairs)
Jane: Lasagna again right?
Daria: What else would it be? Personally I don't think she knows HOW to cook anything else. Why else would we eat the same thing every night?
Jane: This is true.
Daria: (sighs as she gets up) Alright then, time to do the nasty.
Jane: (whimpers) Do we have to?
Daria: Yea, we've got to face the reaper sooner or later.
(The two of them get up and head down stairs for dinner.)
(Cut to downstairs at the dinner table. Everyone is eating except Quinn who is talking non-stop about her day.)
Quinn: So then Sandi said that waif would be coming out with a special
edition on this summers fashions because somebody came out with a completely new wardrobe line up....
Helen:(turns to Daria with a look of desperation on her face) DARIA,
Please tell me about your day.
Daria: (rolls her eyes and sighs) Well.....Jane and I where planning to go to an out of state music festival that's supposed to benefit some guy out in south park.(The phone rings and Quinn jumps up to get it.)
Quinn: That's for me! (She walks into the livingroom while talking on the phone)
Helen: South park? Daria that's at least two days travel from here. How are you two planning to get there?
Jane: My brother is taking us. Along with a few other friends who can drive.
Helen: Your brother? Toby Right?
Jane: Trent.
Helen: Whatever. Daria, how long is this festival?Daria: Only a day.
Helen: Your going to drive for a total of four days for a concert that
only lasts one! Daria what the hell....
Jake: (looks up from his plate confused) Huh, what's the matter?
Helen: Your daughter wants to go to a festival that's....
Jake: That's great kiddo have fun. (Pulls out his wallet) Here's some
money, for souvenirs and stuff.
Daria:(smirks) Thanks dad.
Helen: Jake you are such a ...ooh why do I bother. (Picks up a glob of
lasagna from her plate and throws it in Jake's face. Then she storms
out of the room)Jake: What's she so mad about?
Daria: I guess your overwhelming personality is just to much for her.
Jake: Do you really think so?
(Daria and Jane look at each other then get up from the table )
Daria: Listen, I'm staying over at Jane's for the weekend.
(Cut to Daria and Jane heading down the side walk)
Jane: So once again you've torn your family asunder. Damn I'm proud ofyou.
Daria: Yea, and the great part is they accomplished most of it without my help.
Jane: Makes you feel special doesn't it.
Daria: Yea, but it would have been better if Quinn had gone down with
them.
Jane: Good things come to those who wait my friend.
(They arrive at Jane's house and open the door.)
(Cut to the front of Jane's house early Monday morning. The tank can be seen being loaded by Trent and Jesse)
Trent: You guys ready to get going?
Jane: Does Daria want to be your love slave?(Daria Glares at Jane fiercely)
Trent: Uh....Jane: Never mind Trent. It went over your head. Let's get going.
(Jane quickly shoves Jesse into the back and then she climbs in after
him.) Daria you can sit up front with Trent.
Daria: (Daria gives an evil look to Jane) If I find any antique
sandwiches up here Jane I swear to god.......
Jane: Relax already, there's nothing up there but you (beat) and my brother.
(Daria Looks at Trent in the Drivers seat.)
Trent: Coming Daria?
Jane: If you only knew Trent.(Daria blushes as she climbs into the van)
(Trent starts the van and places it in gear)
Trent: Any last words before we get under way?
(The loud report of flatulence comes from the back of the van)
Daria:( rolling down the window) Oh my GOD....
Jane: Hey, he asked for last words. Those were my personal feelings.
Jesse: (pinching his nose) Man, next time keep them to yourself.
Trent: Let's get the hell out of here.
(He steps on the gas and we see the tank leaving the lane residence)
(Cut to the open road)(They pass a sign that says leaving Lawndale)
Daria:(Throws up her arms and yells)* Free at last..Free at
last...Thank god almighty we're free at last.
Jane: (Puts down the map she was reading)Let me guess..we just leftLawndale.
Trent: yup.
Jane:(drops her map and does the football players victory dance in her
seat) My god it's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders..
Jesse: (Laughing) What the hell are you doing?
Jane; Just getting into the spirit of things with Daria.
(Jesse rolls his eyes)(Trent chuckles)
Daria: (Resumes a straight face) So what's the plan here?
Trent: Easy, we drive until we get tired.Jane: And when we get Tired?
Trent: We pull off the road and snooze in the van.
Jane: That's your plan!
Trent: Hey, there's plenty of room back there.
Jesse: There's sleeping bags and some pillows. It should be okay.
Daria:(shaking her head) Why do I let myself get railroaded into these things?
Jane: Hey it could be worse. At least we didn't tie you to the cowcatcher.
(Trent flicks on the radio. Paradise City by Guns and Roses is playing)
(Later in the day. The Darian's are still Driving.)
Jane: Yo Trent, Pee break.
Jesse: I'm kinda hungry.T
Trent: Sounds cool, let me find a place to stop.
(The tank pulls up to a pizza restaurant.)
Trent: Daria, you hungry. (Looks over to see Daria sleeping against the side of the van)
Jane: Awww, isn't that cute.(Leans over and shouts in Daria's ear)DARIA....FOOD.
(Daria bolts up from her sleep)Daria: Dammit mom I'm not pregnant!!!
(Daria begins to look slowly around the van with a red embarrassed
face) (everyone just stares at her for a moment)
Jane: (confused) Yea...Um..That's Just what I was thinking.
(The group recovers from Daria's outburst and heads in to find a table
and get some food)
Trent: I'm going to hit the head. See you in a few.
Jane: Have fun. (looks at Daria) Fantasy?
Daria: Nightmare. My parent's were grilling me about Trent again.
Jane: Bummer. Well listen I have to take care of my own needs so I'll
be back in a minute.
Daria: You know women never take a minute.
Jane: I know, but it gives the men something to hope for. See you in a few.
(Jane walks off to the bathroom)
Jesse: What did she mean by that?
Daria: You wouldn't understand.
(Jane and Trent come back several minutes later and sit down at thetable)
("Colors of the wind" by Vanessa Williams plays on a radio sitting on
the counter)
Jane: You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that's written on the
bathroom wall.
Daria: New material for sick sad world no doubt.
Jane: Are you kidding? There's probably a whole episode's worth in there.
Daria: I take it you added some art of your own.
Jane: Would you expect anything less of me?
(Waitress comes over and takes a minute to look the group over)
Waitress: Oh my god! NORMAL people. This IS a rare sight.(Daria and Jane smirk)
(A second waitress comes over)
Waitress2: (looks at Trent and Jesse) Hey, Don't you two play with Mystic Spiral?
Trent: (Looks surprised that someone outside of town actually
recognizes them) Um....Yea
Both waitresses:( Bowing) WERE NOT WORTHY.....WERE NOT WORTHY.....
(Trent and Jesse look amused)
Jane: (looks at Daria) What the hell?
Daria: Don't look at me for an answer to this.
(The waitresses compose themselves)
Waitress1: Sorry couldn't resist. But we have seen you guys play
several times. Your not bad.
Trent: Um..Thanks. You Go to McGrundies often?
Waitress2: We try to make it out there whenever we can. Usually on
weekends. It's a summer thing for us.
Waitress1: (looks at Daria) I've seen you. (To Trent) She's your fiancee' right?
Daria: (severe blushing) What?
Waitress1: (realizes she made a mistake) Oh, I'm sorry. It's Just that
every time we've been there I've seen you there with him. I guess I
kind of assumed...well you know. That you were together.
(Jane smiles evilly)(Trent chuckles/ coughs)(Daria is well beyond beetred)
Waitress1: (Apologetically) I didn't mean to embarrass you.
Daria: mm...It's cool. Um..can we get something to eat.
Waitress1: Oh yea. Sorry
(she takes everyone's order and walks into the kitchen)
Trent: Well, That was one for the books.
Jane: I'll say. I didn't think that shade of red even existed.
Daria: That's nice. Can we change the subject?
Trent: Sure. What do you want to talk about?
Daria: Oh I don't know. Things like...where the hell are we?
Trent: We crossed the state line about an hour ago.
Jane: Yea, Daria. You were out cold for a while. You look so adorable
when your asleep. I've never seen Trent smile so much in my life.
Trent: (Blushes then coughs) Yea well I....um...(Coughs)
(He is interrupted by the waitress)
Waitress: Foods ready. (She sets it out on the table)
Jesse: Whoa! That was fast.
Waitress1: We have to be. We get pretty busy here sometimes.
(Waitress walks back to the kitchen)
(Someone changes the station on the radio "all apologies" by Nirvananow plays)
Jesse: It's getting Late. What time is it?
Jane: (Looks at her watch) Oh about half past the monkey's ass.
(Jesse looks confused)Jane: Six o'clock man.
Jesse: Oh.
Daria: You've been driving for a long time Trent. Maybe Jesse should
drive for a while.
Jesse: Do I have to?
Jane: Unless you want Trent to fall asleep at the wheel and kill us all.
Daria: I don't know Jane. He actually seems to drive better when he's sleeping.
Trent: HEY!Jane: Don't worry about it. Jesse will take over until we find a decent place to sleep for the night. Won't you Jess.
Jesse: I guess.
(Daria looks over at Trent and Jesse's plates)
Daria: Holy shit! You guys are done already?
Jesse: Actually, I'm still hungry.
Jane: For god's sake, You two are the REASON people are starving inEthiopia.
Daria: I wonder if they could pack it away faster than this place can
dish it out?
Trent: You guys Want to find out?
Daria and Jane: NO!!
(Waitress comes back out)
Waitress: You guys want anything else?
Daria: Yea, pound these two on the back so they'll spit the plate's back up.
(Jane chuckles) (The waitress leaves the check and the group pays at
the register on their way out to the tank)
(Daria starts to climb into the back this time)
Trent: Daria...Looks like you and I are stuck in the back.
Jane: (to herself) My god. He made the first move!
Daria: um... I don't think.
Trent: It's cool Daria. I don't bite. (He pats the passenger seat)
Jane: Unless you want him to.(Trent glares at Jane)
(Jane grins as she shoves Daria into the back of the van) (Jesse and
Jane Then climb into the front. Jesse starts the van and their off)
(As the sun drops low on the horizon the glare becomes increasingly
intense through the windshield. Jane and Trent Toss on their Trademark
super dark sunglasses. Jesse drops the visor Down so he can see the
road and puts on a pair of aviator style sunglasses. Daria however is
sporting something new. Auto tint lenses which have already adjusted
themselves to the intensifying level of light.)
Jane: Hey Daria, When the hell did you get new glasses?
Daria: The aliens gave them to me. You remember the aliens right?.
Trent: Looks good on you.
Daria:(Blushes) mm...Thanks
(Jane turns back to watching the road but still has an ear tuned to
Daria and Trent as they actually begin a conversation.)
Trent: So Daria... Thanks for coming with us.Daria: No problem.
Trent: I mean, it wouldn't have been the same without you. You know. It wouldn't have seemed right. Like the group was incomplete or something.
Daria: (Eyes widen) Really?
Trent: Yea, (Beat) You're an important part of us. Besides I can talk to you.
Daria: But you've talked to me before. It never seemed to be a problem.
Trent: Yea.. But not like I talk to other people. You actually listen
to me. That's pretty cool.
Daria: Thanks Trent (smiles contently)
( Conversation continues for a while longer then they both seem to dozeoff)
(Meanwhile the sun has gone down)
Jesse: Hey, There's a campground up ahead.
Jane: Sounds like a good spot to me. How about you Daria?
(Jane looks back to see Daria and Trent sleeping against each other.)
Jane: Dammit, It figures my Polaroid is buried in the back somewhere.
(Jesse pulls into the campground stops at the office to register then
they pull off down a side road to find their site. )
(The tank Hit's a huge pothole and Daria and Trent are thrown up into
the air and land on each other.)
Jesse: (Laughing) Hey Trent, I saw that one coming.
(Jane Snaps a picture from a one time use camera she got at the
registration office)
Jane: Alright! I can't wait to see how this comes out. A Picture of
Trent on top of Daria. I bet you'll Treasure that one for a long time.
Trent:(getting up) OOF. Sorry.
Daria:(Glaring at Jane) Ugh. Jane I WILL get you for this someday.
Jane: How ELSE would I know you cared(Jesse pulls into the camp site)
Jesse: Here we are.Daria: Here we are where?
Jane: We found a camping area to spend the night at.
Trent: Cool.
(Everyone piles out of the van and looks at the campsite.)
Trent: Well at least there's a place for a fire.
Daria: Is there a bathroom around here?
Jane: Yea, It's down the road a little ways. Trent, you can try to get
a fire going while were gone.
Trent: cool.
(Jane and Daria head off to find the bathrooms)
Jane: Are we having fun yet?
Daria: (Slaps a mosquito on her arm.) Oh yea,... loads.
Jane: Aw, come on. AT least you get to share a sleeping bag with Trent.
Daria: (Scowls) Jane, What the hell are you talking about.
Jane: There's only two bags in the Van.(Daria glares at Jane)
Jane: What? That's all they had. You didn't think you were going to
sleep next to me did you?
Daria: (Daria Grumbles) Not with the gas you've been having.
(Later Jane and Daria come back to find That Trent and Jesse have
succeeded in building a nice roaring fire and are cooking hot dogs onsticks .)
Jane; Damn Trent...How the hell did you get it going so well. I Mean
you have trouble with lighters.
Jesse: We siphoned some gas out of the tank.
Daria: Pyro's at heart I see.(Jane chuckles)
(Jane and Daria sit down next to the others and warm themselves by thefire)
Jesse: Man, even in the summer it gets chilly at night.
Jane: Hey Jess, quite hogging the meat byproducts. (Grabs two hot dogs
from Jesse and passes one to Daria)
(Trent gets up to dig his guitar out of the van and then returns to his spot at the fire)
Trent: (Thoughtfully picks at the strings) Any Ideas for a song?
Jesse: How about.....
Jane: (Interrupts Jesse) NOT icebox woman. If I hear that song one more time I'm gonna go postal.
(Trent while still thinking inadvertently begins to play the theme to M*A*S*H.)
Daria: I guess that'll work.
Jane: Beats Ice box woman.
(Trent begins to sing the words to the song)
Trent: "Because suicide is painless.....It brings on many
changes....and soon peace is all that you have left" (Sorry, I can't
remember how the rest of the song goes)
(Later that night as the fire begins to die out the four of them retire to the Tank. Jane has already snuggled up next to Jesse. Daria and Trent eye up the last sleeping bag)
Trent: Daria, If you want I can sleep up in the drivers seat.
Daria: (Pauses for a moment) Um...............I (Beat) Um, No, That's
alright. We can share it.
Trent: Your sure your alright with this?
Daria: Yea, I trust myself with you.(Trent lifts an eyebrow at this.)
(They both climb into the bag. Trent turns on his side to face away
from her.) (Daria looks over at Trent to see that he has already fallen asleep. She smiles and closes her eyes)(Cut to the next morning)
Jane: (Opening her eyes and looking at Jesse) Still in your dormant
stage I see.(Darth Vader impersonation) Soon the circle will be complete.
Jesse: (Opens his eyes) Huh, What?
Jane: Nothing, Just the Dark side stirring within me.
Jesse: Cool. (Goes back to sleep)
(Jane rolls her eyes Then looks over to see that Trent has rolled over
in his sleep and draped his arm over Daria) (Jane reaches for her
Polaroid and quickly snaps a picture before either of them has a chance to move)
(Daria opens her eyes to see Trent's arm draped over her. She tenses up not sure if she should move away or not. After a moment she relaxes and uses his arm to pull him closer to her and smiles as she closes hereyes again)
(Cut to later that morning)
(Everyone is out of the van and cooking some sort of breakfast on a
campfire that Trent and Jesse again started with petroleum distillate)
(The vans radio plays in the background. The Howard Stern program canbe heard.)
Jane: Yo Trent, What's for breakfast?
Trent: Soup.
Jane: That's interesting. What kind oh narcoleptic one.
Trent: Clam chowder... I think.
Jane: Cool...Um, where's Daria?
Jesse: I think she's sitting in the front of the van.
(Jane walks over to the van and see's Daria in the front passenger seat listening to Stern.)
Jane: Greetings Venus, I see your clam opened up without a hitch.
Daria: (Looks at Jane with a Mona Lisa smile) Trent held me in his arms while he was sleeping.
Jane: Yea, I saw that. And you pulled him closer and placed his hand on your breast.
Daria: (smile disappears) You were watching??
Jane:(Severely exaggerating) Relax. I only saw what I needed to see.
Daria: (Relaxes) So what did you come to talk to me about?
Jane: Nothing in particular. Just wanted to tell you that breakfast is
almost ready. (Beat) Listen, you've got to realize that this means
Trent DOES notice you. To say nothing about having feelings for you.
Daria: What do you mean?
Jane: He wasn't asleep. His holding you, aside from what you did, was a conscious action.(Daria's smile returns at the mention of this)
(After breakfast everyone piles into the van. Daria and Trent are up
front again. The radio is still playing as a weather bulletin
interrupts the Stern Show)
Radio: The National Weather Service Has issued a severe thunderstorm
watch effective until six P.M. today. These storms will likely have
heavy downpours, Frequent lightning , Large hail, And may spawn
tornado's. If this weather approaches your area. Seek shelter immediately.
(The Radio returns to it's scheduled programming.)
Jesse: (looks up at the already cloudy sky) Whoa..Talk about roughweather.
Daria: Couldn't be worse than that hurricane we had last fall.
Jane: Or being stuck in a shed with Kevin and Brittany DURING said
hurricane. That reminds me. What the hell provoked all that singing
anyway?
Daria: I'm not sure. It might have been the aliens at work again.
Jane: Those bastards.
Trent: (starts the van) Everybody on board?
Daria: No, I think you left Jane and I back at the dinner.
Trent: (chuckles) Let's get going then.
(The van leaves the campsite and heads out on the open road.)
(The four of them are driving for several hours)
Jesse: Trent, how much farther is South park from here?
Trent: We should be there by the end of the day.
Jesse: Cool.
Jane: (Leans forward to get a better look out of the windshield) Damn,
look at that sky.
Trent: What about it?
Jane: It's got a slightly green tint to it. I've never seen anythinglike it.
Daria: (Looks up at the clouds.) Damn that is weird. Look at some of
the cloud formations. Those are Momotus I think.
Jesse: So what's that mean?
Daria: They indicate extremely high upper level winds.
Jane: That's nice and all. Listen Trent, can you stop for a minute.
Trent: What for?
Jane: I want to paint this landscape. It's not every day you see this
kind of weather. Besides we've got time.
Trent:( Rolls his eyes) I guess we could do with a stretch anyway.
(Trent pulls over on the side of the road. We can see wide open plains
and an excellent view of the landscape and far off sky)
(Everyone piles out of the van and stretches. Jane gets out her easel
and paints and begins to paint the scene with them included.)
(Cut to an hour later)
(Jane is still painting)(meanwhile the sky has grown darker and the
rumbles of thunder can be heard in the distance) (Far off across the
field probably miles away the occasional stroke of lightning can beseen)
Daria:(As the wind begins to pick up a little) Hey Jane, The weather is starting to look pretty nasty out here. Why don't you take a Polaroid and finish the painting later.
Trent: Yea Janie, let's call it a day
Jane: Oh all right. Party pooper
(Several cars hastily speed past them with their lights on and honking
their horns)
Jesse: What's their problem?
Daria: (Turns her head towards the direction the cars came from)(Her
eyes widen at what she see's) Um..Guys. I think the answer to that question lies over in thisdirection.
Jane: Daaamn!!
Jesse and Trent: WHOA!
(What the four of them are gaping at is a funnel cloud that has dipped
down from the sky far off in the distance and is just now touching down.)
Jane: (Turns back to her easel) I'll be damned if I'm leaving before I
get that on here.
Jesse: (Warily) As long as it's far off I Guess were okay.
Daria: Jesse, Hand me Jane's Polaroid. That way if she get's us all
killed The police will know what who to blame.
(Jesse hands her the camera and she begins to take photo's of the
twister which has broadened it's base substantially at this point)
(cut to half an hour later)
(The twister has closed to within Three miles at this point but is
moving on a track that is parallel to them)
Trent: Come on Jane. Time to go.
Jane: Five more minutes and I'm done.
Daria: Damn, will you look at that thing. The base must be half a mile
wide. I'll bet it's probably an F-4.
Jane: There done. Now was that so bad. (Starts to pack up)
Jesse: Whoa, check it out. I think it's going to cross the road.
Daria: Is it me or is that thing slowing down.Trent: Yea, I think it is. ( see power lines and transformers explode as the twister moves over the road and stalls it's track)
All four: WHOA!!
Trent: I think it stalled. It's staying in one spot.
Jesse: Maybe it's stuck
Jane: (Jokingly) Jesse why don't you go over and give it a push.
Jesse: (Looks at her weirdly) I think you need to lay off the caffeine Jane.
Jane: But I live on the stuff.
(The twister weaves back and forth over the road for several minutes
Then begins to move again ...Straight down the road coming towardsthem)
Trent: (Grabs Jane and Daria and Tosses them into the van) GET IN THE
VAN!! (He runs around to the drivers side as Jesse jumps in. Trent
starts the van and stomps on the gas as hard as he can. The van smokes
it's tires as they speed off down the road)
Daria: (Gets up and sticks her head out the window only to see that The twister is closing) Step on it Trent the Things gaining.
Trent: I'm doing seventy now. It doesn't have any more.
Daria: (Glares) Jane if we live through this I swear to god I'm going
to make you eat that painting.
Jane: (Worriedly Looks out the window) Couldn't you just wedge your
combat boots up my ass?
Trent: No, Because I'm going to do that.
Jesse: There's an overpass up ahead. We can hold up under there.
Trent: What the hell makes you think that'll work?
Jesse: I've seen storm chasers do it on t.v. Their professionals.
They've got to know what their doing.
Trent: Works for me.
(Trent screeches to a halt under the overpass and everybody scrambles
out of the van)
Jesse: Everybody climb that dirt mound and get as far under the beamsas you can.
(As the Twister approaches a sudden gust of wind catches Daria's
glasses and rips them off her face.)
Daria: My glasses!!
(Jesse and Jane have already made it under the beams) (Trent Comes back
and grabs Daria's arm)
Trent: I've got you now move it!
(He helps her under the beams just as the funnel begins to move over
them. The roar of the wind becomes deafening)(Trent holds on to her as
tight as he can)
Jesse: (Barely audible to the others) Ow! Son of a bitch... My ears arepopping.
(Jane screams but at this point she is inaudible to anyone else)
(A flying two by four appears from seemingly no where and impales the
back of the van Just before the fierce winds begin to push the van in a slow three sixty across the road underneath the overpass)
( The van is again impaled by various flying debris before the twister
moves off and away from them)(We can begin to hear Jane still screaming as the noise from the wind fades)
Daria: (Panting) Is it Over?
Trent: (Looks at the twister which can be seen moving off still
following the road) yea, I Think so.
(The four of them come out from under the beams to take a look at the
damage to the van.)
(Their hair looks extremely windblown Jane's hair no longer looks like
it's usual bowl cut, It now looks like she unsuccessfully tried to
slick it back )
(Daria looks down the road to where they had first spotted the tornado)
Jane: Hey Daria, Whatcha looking for?
Daria: I'm waiting to see If Bill Paxton comes flying down the road to
chase that thing.Jane: No luck I guess Huh?
Daria: Guess not. (Turns back to look at the van and pulls a board out
of the side.) Well Trent, At least now the van has air conditioning.
Trent: (chuckles) yea, I guess so. (Pulls the two by four out of theback door)
Jesse: Man, is this thing still drivable?
Trent:( Follows a trail of antifreeze to the front of the van and sees
a metal rod sticking out of the radiator) AH SHIT!!
Daria: We'll take that as a definite no.
Jesse: Man, How are we going to explain this to Max?
Daria: Simple. Tell Max that the indestructible almighty Tank fell
victim to the wrath of god. He should understand that.
Jane: Oh yea, That'll go over well. So anyhow I guess South park's out.
Daria: You think?
Jane: yea, I would have to say it's pretty clear at this point.
Daria: Well as long as that's settled. Um... So How do we get home.
(The chirp of a siren is heard. Everyone turns their heads to see a
state trooper pulling up)
Jane: Talk about timing.
Daria: I know. Great isn't it.
Trooper Mitchell: ( Exits his car) Is everyone here all right?
Trent: Well I can't speak for the van, but I think WE'RE okay.
Mitchell: (Walks around to the front of the van and see's the radiator)Damn!!
(Daria while walking around the van stumbles.)
Mitchell: are you sure she's okay?
Trent:(Walks over to Daria and holds her tight) Yea, She just lost her
glasses to the funnel.
Mitchell: That's got to suck. Well Take it this way, better your
glasses than your life.
Daria: (looks at Jane) Yea, I'll keep that in mind.
Jane: Relax Daria, The cops cute(Daria rolls her eyes)
Trent: I think if we can get a new radiator we should be able to get onour way.
Mitchell: (Thinks for a minute) Well I"ve got to clear the roads for
any emergency vehicles so I can probably get you towed to a shop on the departments tab, but Unfortunately other than taking a report that's as much as I can do right now.
Trent: Thanks, We'd appreciate it.
(The Trooper puts in a call for a tow truck over the radio)
(The truck soon arrives and takes the Tank in tow. The Trooper allows
the four to ride in his car as he follows the truck to the shop)
(Cut to the repair shop as they pull the van out of the garage)
Mechanic: Damn, you people are lucky.
(The four of them pool their money together to pay for the new radiator and then begin their trek home. Jesse and Jane are up front. Daria is sleeping against Trent in the back while he holds her in his arms)
(Jane is seen admiring her painting in the front seat. She managed to
capture the tornado ripping through the exploding power lines. She
smiles at her masterpiece)
Jane: (Evil smirk on her face) Now all I have to do is get Trent to
FIND my other painting.
(Cut to the Morgandorffer house as Daria is dropped off)
(Daria enters the front door Drops her bag and walks past her parents
to the stairs)
Jake: So how was the festival?
Daria: (Wearily) Huh?
Helen: Did you enjoy your trip sweetie?
Daria: (Thinks of Trent holding her and smiles) Yea, But it was to damn windy for my taste. (Daria heads up the stairs to take a shower)
Helen: (looks at Jake) I wonder what she meant by that?ROLL ENDING
CREDITS:
"Smells like teen spirit" by Nirvana plays in the background While
alter egos of the characters are shown.
Excerpt marked by an asterict is a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King
"We're not worthy" excerpt borrowed from the movie Wayne's World
"Urge to kill..rising" excerpt borrowed from a Halloween episode of the Simpson's