It's time.....
It's time to end it all.....
"The bullshit ends here!" - Owen Hart
For one month, and six days, Kain has changed the lives of over two dozen people, especially a sixteen-year-old cynical girl named Daria Morgendorffer. He, and his girlfriend, Sally managed to do what Jane couldn't do, make Trent and Daria a couple. Kain has done what Angela Li was too scared to do, fire a lesbian feminist teacher named Janet Barch. Kain has done what no one could do (Actually anyone could, but not as well..), make Mystik Spiral a full band. Kain has done what no Lawndale athlete could do, defeat five football players in back-to-back pro-wrestling matches in under five minutes.
Kain has done all this, and more.
He created his own worst enemy, by attempting to clone himself. It was only a half-success, the man became self-aware and built a massive criminal empire under Kain's name. For an unknown period of time, the clone now known as Kraxus has ruined Kain's social life. Why unknown? Because Kain hasn't really been honest with his life story...........
Daria (Thinking): What the fuck?!?
Daria (Reading silent): This is solely for the eyes of one Daria Morgendorffer, only. No one must see, or know of its contents. Daria, there's a lot more to my life that you should know.....
(Daria sees something shocking. And Trent wakes up, knowing that Daria isn't in bed.)
Trent (Barely awake, and raspy): Something wrong?
(She almost panicks, and comes back to the bed, but not before putting the journal under the bed. She climbs back in with Trent.)
Daria: No, nothing's wrong.
Trent: That's good to hear. (They cuddle up {Awwww}. Shut up {Make me}.) Do you think we can pull this off?
Daria: Pull what off?
Trent: This whole New York thing.
Daria: I just don't know anymore.
Trent: Well, if it makes you fell better, I'll be your personal bodyguard.
Daria: Thanks. (She kisses him)
Reuben: We gotta get up.
Jane: No we don't.
Reuben: C'mon, today's the big day.
Jane: The one where I get to sew Upchuck's eyes shut?
Reuben: Wrong day.
Jane: The one where my work somehow gets discovered by an art exhibit and I make a bundle?
Reuben: 'Still way off.
Jane: The one where I sit back while a Sick Sad World marathon infects the TVs?
Reuben: Nope.
Jane: Help me out here.
Reuben: We're in New York, and there's going to be a lot of chaos, now that we're here.
Jane: Oh yeah, that.
(They both get up, get dressed, and head out the door. When they get outside, they see that everyone else has gotten up too, and are probably going to the same place.)
Reuben: This is awkward.
Jane: Tell me about it.
Kain: The Apple.
Uziman: So nice....
Shotgun: ......they named it twice.
Jane: The coolest place to be.......
Michael: .....while, at the same time, being the worst.
Trent: This is starting to.......
Daria: ....bug the crap of of me.
Sally: But then, you.....
Kain: ......were always bored.
Wind: KNOCK IT OFF!!
Summer: Geez, don't have.......
Penny: ....a cow, Wind.
Tommy: Damn.
Jane: What? 'Couldn't start one of your own?
Tommy: The cloak's out of juice.
Sally: Oh, crap.
Diane: What exactly does that mean?
Sharon: It means that they can see us now.
Bonnie: Oh great, now what?
Kain: I'm sure we have enough power to bodyslide ourselves in and out, unnoticed.
Michael: Bodyslide?
Kain: It's a way of teleporting mass from one place to another.
Mara: Like the way those stuck-up guys in Star Trek do?
Kain: The same.
Quinn: 'Sounds like the name of an amusement park ride.
Jesse: Weren't those superhero guys supposed to meet us here?
Sally: Well, sorta. If you're lucky, you'll run into one of them.
Kain: But that's not likely to happen. Yesterday, I spoke to the rangers. There was only three left.
Adrian: (Scared, and panicked) You mean the Power Rangers are .... losing?
Kain: 'Afraid so. They've only been fighting aliens for over a hundred thousand years. They never thought of ever fighting humans.
David: Ouch.
Summer: I'm sure they'll pull through.
Kain: Well, it was yesterday when I learned this. So they should be back up to five or six by now, but it won't be like that for long.
Courtney: What do you mean?
Sally: Eventually, all the rangers will be wiped out. Kraxus is too powerful for them. Too smart. Too cunning.
Kain: So it's up to us to take him out. But he could be anywhere. That's what makes this even more dangerous than it looks. (They reach Yankee Stadium) Ah, there's a spot.
Mara: I don't see anything.
Michael: Oh no, you're not doing what I think you're going to do, are you?
Kain: I don't know. But I am thinking about landing on top of the stadium. I'm sure it'll hold.
Tommy: The stadium, or the wings?
Kain: Both. Ok guys, hand on to something secure. It's going to be a rough landing. (Looks backward) No, no, not your dates!
Everyone: Sorry.
(Outside, everyone sees the Falcon slowing to a crawl, and easing toward the stadium. People run in terror at the sight of the giant ship.)
Kain: Ok, gently, gently, gentlllly. Touchdown. We're clear. (Kain pulls out the giant ignition key.)
Uziman: Well, that was fun.
Shotgun: Oh yeah, nothing like riding a giant ship for three days straight.
Jackyl: It's all the same to me.
Sally: It'd have to be, you've been cooped up in Kain's house, and the Falcon for over a year.
Tommy: Well, (Getting up) 'time to rock 'n' roll.
Kain: Make sure you wear these things at all times. Press the green button on the underside to turn them on.
Daria: What are these?
Kain: They're electric shields. They'll protect you from gunfire, blunt objects, and most of the time, people that try to get near you.
Jane: What if one of us accidentally gets near another one of us?
Kain: Not to worry, they're "smart" shields. They won't hurt each other.
Sally: We'll all meet over at 42nd street. Everybody got that?
Everyone: Yeah.
Kain: And remember, try to blend in with the crowd, don't make a spectacle of yourself, and luckily you won't get in any confrontations. We're looking for PrestonCorp International, if any of you find it, tap the blue button on your pendant twice, It'll let everyone know your location. If there's trouble, hold down the red button for four seconds, you'll beam back to the Falcon. And be careful of the birds.
Michael: Birds? Why the birds?
Kain:Ornethologists have recently discovered a dramatic increase of bird species found in Central Park. Among the birds sighted are the Hooded Worbler, the Red-Bellied Woodpecker, and the Crested-Knife-Wielding-Motherfucker.
Michael: I reiterate, why the birds?
Kain: Hey, those woodpeckers are a real bitch, ok? Ok, everyone stand on the white floor. (Kain joins them, and in an instant, they vanish from sight.)
Kain: Oh well, ya gotta start somewhere.
Uziman: Uh, boss? This isn't anywhere. Look. (He points to a large crowd, there's some action inside the crowd.)
Tommy: Like you said, you gotta start somewhere.
(The five make their way through the crowd, and find a lone Ranger fighting dozens of thugs. The crowd is just standing there, watching as someone knocks out the Green Ranger from behing with a lead pipe. They step forward.)
Kain: That may work with guys like him, but you'll never get us that easily.
Thug1: Shut up!
Shotgun: Typical punk.
Thug2: Don't push it. You have a chance to just walk away. Don't stick your nose in our business!
Uziman: Oh yeah, you're going down, mark my words. (Points to one) Especiallythisonehere.
Voice: (From within the crowd) Gun 'em!
(Ten guys whip out AK-47s and begin spraying at Kain and the others. Kain quickly rolls forward and slice the barrels of the guns with his lightsaber. No one noticed the bullets being absorbed by the electric shields. Kain, while still on one knee, adjusts his weapon, and slices at a portion of the ten. Four go down, but they're only stunned. Sally leaps into the air, toward the the thugs, and kicks one down. Uziman fires off two shots, taking out both of the guy's eyes (He is an expert marksman, by the way.). Vince gives Tommy a boost, Tommy leaps into the air and takes down three guys. The slashed guys regain conciousness, and run away, along with the others.)
Kain: Dicks.
(The crowd breaks off, knowing there's nothing more to see, but someone yells.....)
Female Voice: Kain!
Kain: Jesse?
(A tall, blonde-ish girl runs up and hugs him.)
Jesse: What the hell were you thinking?!! You almost got yourself killed!!
Kain: It's good to see you too.
Jesse: I mean it, Kain. What's going on here? Why are people being killed by the dozens by the hour?
Kain: Walk with us.
Sally: Who is she?
Kain: Oh, how rude of me. John, Vince, Tommy, Sally, this is Jesse Spano. I used to help her and her friends out over at Bayside High with their preppy problems.
(They head down a street. Some time passes.)
Kain: .....and now we're here to take the bastard out, permanently.
Jesse S: Well, I don't know anything about any PrestonCorp International. Sorry.
Kain: That's ok.
Jesse S: I have to warn you. Stay away from the trend clubs.
Kain: Why?
Jesse S: Zack is here too.
Kain: (Disturbed) Aw geez. And let me guess, he's still pissed at me too, isn't he?
Jesse S: 'Afraid so.
Kain: This can't go on forever. Today is my revelations day.
Jesse S: Huh?
Kain: For me, it means "The bullshit ends here". I'm ending all my feuds today. Why not end one more?
Jesse S: Well, I'm going to regret this, but ok. Follow me.
Mara: OK. Where to first?
(Michael checks his wrist-computer)
Michael: Head due northeast. We'll need to catch a cab.
Summer: What did you bring along?
(Michael opens the duffel and takes a look.)
Michael: M-16 automatics, M-60 machine guns, a few bazookas, some Stingers in case we run into trouble, night vision goggles, Kevlar vests, grenade launchers, battlesuits for when nobody's around, and turkey sandwiches.
Danny: Turkey sandwiches?
Mara: Buy food in New York? We didn't bring ten grand with us. (They find the main road and hail a taxi.)
Cabbie: Where to?
Michael: 68th and Lexington. Go by Times Square.
Cabbie: You got it.
(They wind through the streets of Brooklyn and end up stuck at the entrance to the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.)
Bonnie: This is weird.
Mara: What's weird?
Bonnie: There aren't any cars in the tunnel, but we're held up here.
Michael: Hey, any idea what's going on?
Cabbie: I dunno. I heard over the radio that there's something going on inside, though.
Jesse: Inside?
Cabbie: Yeah. Someone's holding up traffic. It ain't the cops, though.
Michael: Who is it, then?
Cabbie: I dunno. I try never to leave Brooklyn.
Michael: We'll get out here.
Cabbie: That's two...
(Michael tosses him a five.)
Michael: Keep it. Thanks for the ride and the advice, uhh...
Cabbie: Jake.
Michael: Right. Thanks, Jake.
(They all pile out. Michael gets the duffel bag from the trunk.)
Michael: Okay, everyone take night vision goggles some smoke grenades, a shotgun, an M-16, and body armor.
Danny, Summer, Jesse: Huh?
Bonnie: Time for a little urban night assault.
(Michael hands out bandoliers of grenades, pistol-grip shotguns, M-16s, armor vests, and Darth Vader-like helmets.)
Danny: Whoa, cool! (Puts on a helmet and vest.) Luke... I am your father... (Fumbles for a switch.)
Michael: DON'T TOUCH THAT YET!
(Danny recoils)
Danny: Jesus, man, what tree grew up your ass?
Michael: You could bust the unit. It's night vision. The light could overload it to a point where it'll explode and take your head off.
(They all finish suiting up and arming the guns.)
Mara: Everybody ready? Let's go.
Michael: Stay together. Once we get into the tunnel, hit the night vision.
(They unsafe the weapons and chamber rounds, heading into the tunnel.)
Voice: Well, well, well. The sheep come to the herder.
Michael: Show yourself!
Voice: Come, come. You are my guest. I insist that you tour the place.
Michael (To the others): Okay guys, smoke 'em.
(They all pull the pins on the smoke grenades and toss them down the tunnel. They make a hissing noise and dark smoke starts coming out of them.)
Voice: Oooh, little Mr. Spy's playing Army Rangers!
Michael: Follow me. Stay alert.
(They slowly advance through the smoke to the source of the voice.)
Voice: Come a little closer. Don't be shy.
(As they get through the cloud, they see a '77 Corvette with guns on top.)
Voice: The name's Antonio Malochio. Kraxus paid me a bundle, so enjoy your last words!
(The guns start spitting fire as the team ducks to the ground. The Corvette turns around and starts racing out.)
Danny: Oh, no you don't!
(He starts rushing forward and firing his M-16. He eventually lands a shot on each of the tires. Malochio gets away, though.)
Michael: You got a spark, kid.
Danny (Points his M-16 at Michael): Who's a kid?
Michael: Touché.
Mara: Great baby-sitting skills.
Michael: Et tu, Mara?
Mara (Grins): Just offering a commentary.
Summer: I hate to break it to you, but he's getting away!
Michael (Turning around): That's not the important thing right now!
(A bunch of heavily armed mobsters are coming out of the smoke cloud.)
Mara: Open fire!
(They all switch to full auto on the M-16s and blast away. The mobsters take cover behind a police booth.)
Danny: What now?
Michael: OK, there's two options. One, we make a stand here and possibly get killed.
Summer: What's the other option?
Michael: We rush 'em!
Danny: Let's do it!
Summer: Yeah!
(They charge forward and run through the smoke, firing at the sides. A few minutes later, they each emerge unscathed.)
Michael: Anyone get a kill?
Danny: I heard a few screams. Does that count?
Mara: No way, man! Those were mine!
Summer: They could have been mine!
(Danny looks at her weird.)
Danny: Mom?
Summer: Just because I'm a mother doesn't mean I'm not a cold-blooded killer.
Danny: I love you, mom!
Summer: Get a job.
Michael: OK, I vote that we walk the rest of the way.
Everyone else: Agreed!
Jane: Well, that was fun.
Daria: Yeah, nothing like getting your molecules moved across different dimensions of time and space.
Wind: What's that noise?
Penny: More importantly, where ARE we?
Daria: Kinda sounds like, like.........
Jane: Isn't that AC/DC?
Wind: I thought I recognized them.
(They walk out of the room, towards the main arena, the music is getting louder, and louder. They see a concession stand still selling souveniers. Wind sees it.....)
Wind: Oh my god, I don't fucking believe it. We're really here!
Guy: 'You going to buy something, or not?!
Wind: Yeah. (points to a specific T-Shirt)
Guy: That'll be 20 bucks.
(After the transaction concludes, Wind puts his new "EC f'n W" T-Shirt on over his shirt.)
Wind: My one purpose in life is to be at one of these things.
Daria: I've heard about this place. Isn't this the one where there's no rules at all, just pin your opponent, and that's it?
Jane: Oh yes, this'll be fun.
Penny: Yeah, just think of all the neat ways you could wear your opponent down.
(They continue toward the arena, the music's getting louder. "Highway to Hell", by AC/DC is playing in the background. They reach the arena, sure enough, there's a wrestling ring in the middle, surrounded by bleachers. Everyone is standing as a guy in flowery clothes comes to the ring.)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Now entering the ring, here is Spike Dudley! And his opponent....... ("Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'n' Roses blasts from the speakers. A big guy dressed in black tights, with flames lining the sides, comes to the ring.) ......about to enter the ring, "The Beast >From the East", Bam Bam Bigelow! (Crowd roars, barely drowning out the music)
(Ed. note: Yes, everyone. If you haven't figured it out, this is Extreme Championship Wrestling, a regional pro-wrestling organization that operates in the New England states. We now cut to Joey Styles, lone broadcaster for ECW.)
Joey: We're back, and we have a blockbuster match. Spike Dudley against Bam Bam Bigelow. What, again? Well, alright. I guess three's the charm here. For those of you that have absolutely no clue as to what's going on, then change the damn channel! For those of you that remember, Bam Bam Bigelow literally tossed Spike Dudley out of the ring, into the crowd, twice in their last encounter. Ooh, ooh, and we're already underway! (Bam Bam corners Spike) Bigelow's wasting no time, laying in those punches. Spike is down! (Bam Bam hoists his arms into the air several times.) Oh wait, it looks like he's going to do it already!
Crowd: Throw Spike here!! Throw Spike here!!! Throw Spike here!!!! Throw Spike here!!!!!
Joey: Heh, ask, and you shall recieve. (Bam Bam picks Spike up and holds him over his head, then tosses Spike into the crowd.) Oh my god!!! (The crowd catches him) And now they're reeling him back to the ring. Yeah, that's the way to travel these days, AirBigelow. (Pauses for a second) What the hell?! It looks like .... a fan is being thrown into the ring by another fan. She looks to be a teenager. Others are being pushed and shoved into the ring by several others. One girl's wearing a Brown shirt, another's wearing a Green Jacket with a black skirt, She looks kinda cool, and this one here, he looks like he belongs here in ECW. Whoa, there's this really cool looking chick with a red jacket.
(The people that threw them in are entering as well, they're all wearing street punk clothes.)
Joey: This is totally expected! Unlike some other places we know. It looks like we're about to have a rumble in the ring among the fans. Bonus Match! Bonus Match!! Both sides are underway, they're both trying to grab each other, the one in the green jacket is really taking care of business. She just bounced off the ropes, and leveled the guy. She goes outside, oh yes, she's getting a steel chair!! And, ooohhhh what a hit by the green one. The only guy in this little group of girls really knows his wrestling, he takes the guy, kicks him in the gut, and nails him with the crucifix slam. Oh my god!!! Now this is extreme!!
Crowd: E-C-W!!! E-C-W!!!!! E-C-W!!!! E-C-W!!! E-C-W!!! E-C-W!!!! (As they're chanting, the four return to the crowd and disappear)
(Cut to: Outside the building, they're at a safe distance from the place.)
Jane: How'd they know we were there?
Wind: Someone had to be tipping them off. By the way, nice move, I can see why Trent likes you.
Penny: Nah, 'can't be that.
Quinn: What?
Bonnie: I guess they've never seen two sets of twins and a triplet before.
Voice: (From within the crowd) Hey, look! It's the Spice Girls! (A mix of cheers and boos erupt from the crowd)
Heather: Yeah, tellmewhatyouwantwhatyoureallyreallywant!
Diane: I want you British twits to (flips both the birds) BITE ME!!! (Crowd cheers even louder)
Crowd: U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!
(And out of nowhere.....)
British Voice: Girl Power forever!! (They look off into the distance with a disturbed look)
TV: ....We interupt "A Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas" to give this special report from ABC News.
On-Scene Reporter: I'm standing in Times Square, where currently, is the scene of a fistfight between British Rap superstars The Spice Girls, and five American quintuplets. For some unknown reason, police officials have hesitated to break up the brawl. This is a sad day for the music industry...........
Reuben: Other way around, doofus!
Jesse: Heh.
Trent: Once again, we show Europe that we mean business.
Reporter: ........Police have yet to identify the five girls.
Jesse M: They'll never figure it out.
Reporter: Oh, wait. One, but only one has been identified as Quinn Morgendorffer.
All Three: Uh oh.
Voice: Never, ever doubt the reporters.
Trent: Who said that? (Trent looks around and sees that no one is there.)
Voice: They can find anyone, get their names, and drill them with questions until they snap.
Reuben: Hey, guys? Look at the TV.
(They look at the TV, there's a familiar dark-clothed individual.)
Jesse M: It's that Kraxus guy.
Kraxus: Gee, nothing gets by you.
Trent: 'The hell do you want?
Kraxus: To irritate the shit out of you. Is it working?
Jesse M: Let's just go.
Kraxus: Right, just go. But remember, no matter where you go, you can't escape your fate.
(They leave with a worried look.)
Zack: Gee Kelly, you look like you've just seen a ghost.
Kelly: Not exactly a ghost, but......
Zack: But..... what?
Kain: She always froze like that at times.
Zack: (Surprised) Kain!
Kain: Lower your voice. Who knows if this place is monitored.
Zack: What are you doing here?!
Kain: Well, I was in the neighborhood. As for being in New York entirely, I'm here to find somebody.
Zack: Ah.
Kain: Zack, there's an imposter on the loose here in NYC, sometimes he does make public appearances. Have you seen him?
Kelly: He looks exactly like you?!
Kain: There are a few slight differences.
Sally: He's a little taller, his trenchcoat lining is red instead of blue, and he's got shorter hair.
Zack: Who's she?
Kain: Never mind that. Have you seen him?
Zack: Nope.
Kain: Have you ever heard of "PrestonCorp International"?
Kelly: Isn't that the large accounting firm over in Midtown Manhattan?
Zack: Kelly, don't tell him!
Kain: Zack, could I talk to you in private for a minute?
Zack: (With a scared look) Uh sure.
(They walk off to the men's room, the only real private place in the club. The second they get in, Kain grabs Zack's collar, and hoists him up into the air.)
Kain: Now you listen here, you little blonde bimbo surfer shithead, I'm getting sick and tired of your little games and lies, you're supposed to have outgrown them the second you got out of high school. But you haven't changed at all. After that little stunt you pulled at CAL U, I'm at the end of my rope with you. You've been nothing but trouble. I was dating the best girl in the world, but you had to ruin it, so now you owe me, BIG. You hear me, (thrusts him into the wall) surfer boy?! And now, for this, lying to me and my friends, defending a master-criminal.....
Zack: Huh? I think the night life's gotten to your brain.
Kain: Shut up! You're really testing my patience. (Drops him) I suggest you leave town now, because if I find out you WERE defending him, I'm going to kill you, or maybe worse.....
Zack: Worse?
Kain: Put 2 and 2 together. (As he's just about out the door....) You wrecked my relationship with Tori. You know how the old saying goes: "An Eye for an Eye, A Tooth for a Tooth." (Leaves)
(Back at the booth,)
Kelly: So, Kain's been at Lawndale ever since?
Uziman: Yeah, it's surprising that Bayside and Valley were too busy with each other to notice us.
Jesse S: There's a reason for that. The Lions haven't progressed enough to take either one of them on.
(Kain comes back)
Kain: We're outta here. Zack has sided with Kraxus.
Sally: Where'd that come from?
Kain: Remember when Zack snapped when Kelly told us where the building was? He'd have to be associated with him.
Kelly: He's been conducting deals with him, to pay for the condo.
Kain: Well, I suggest you leave town now. I don't care if you two are married. When I come back here tomorrow, after all this is done, Zack's a dead man. I've had it with him. Let's go. (They leave)
(Outside of the club, Jesse runs out to confront Kain)
Jesse S: What's going on in that head?! I guess I was wrong about you. You're no different than all the other men who like to act macho in front of their friends.
Kain: Hey guys, go on without me, I'll catch up.
Uziman: Ok, boss.
Tommy: Um, boss? Where do you want to meet us at?
Kain: Hmm........42nd street, like we planned.
Shotgun: Ok, we'll see you later. (They leave.)
Kain: Jesse, you're one of my best friends, I've loved you like you were my sister. But, this is a very delicate situation for me.
Jesse S: Explain.
Kain: You don't even know the half on what's going on. Before I go on, do you have any plans for the day?
Jesse S: No, today's my day off.
Kain: Ok, then come with me, I'll try.......... (Suddenly)
Voice: Hey! You're Kain, right?!
Kain: I might be.
Thug: (He appears with two other guys.) We've been sent to give you a message.
Kain: Oh really? This wouldn't be from, I don't know, Kraxus, would it? (Mumbles to Jesse) Get behind me.
(The three guys whip out guns with silencers. They fire on Kain, the bullets are absorbed by the shields.)
Kain: Is that it? (Kain whips out his lightsaber and chops off the three guys' upper-torsos) Some message.
Jesse S: What IS going on?! And what's with this?!! (She touches the shield, and shocks herself) Aahhh!
Kain: Take my hand, (She does, and they vanish from sight. They appear inside the Falcon, on the main bridge) I'll try my best to explain. But it's better if I just showed you what's going on.
Jesse S: What is this place?
Voice: The best place to hang out in the free world, toots.
Jesse S: What did you call me?! (Jackyl flies up on her shoulder)
Jackyl: Whoo-hoo! You're a tall broad, I like that.
Jesse S: This is yours?
Kain: He's not exactly a pet. He has the same rights as we do. (Sarcastic) Why, he's a national treasure!
Jackyl: You better believe it, baby!
Jesse S: Since when did pigs learn to fly?
Kain: Since I started experimenting twenty years ago. This guy was my first attempt at enhancing a parrot's vocal skills, and modifying it's mental capacity. This is the end result. Jesse Spano, meet eighteen-year-old Jackyl: Parrot Asshole.
Jesse S: Interesting.
Kain: Jackyl, meet Jesse Spano, the United States' second biggest feminist.
Jesse S: Second?!!
Kain: I've met the first. But I brung it down. No offense intended, but I can't stand feminists. You got your equal rights when you protested back in the sixties. Now you're just wanting to have all the attention.
Jackyl: Yeah. People like you need to loosen up at least once in their life.
Jesse S: Get the fuck off me!!
Jackyl: What? You like being on top? (Jesse gives him a look of death) Eh. I gotta go anyway. I'm going to go find those musician guys. (Leaves)
Jesse S: Musicians?
Kain: I met this band called Mystik Spiral, they're down there as well........
(Plattsburgh Air Force Base, Upstate New York. F-15 Eagle fighters and B-1 Lancer heavy bombers are all taking off and heading towards NYC.)
(Fifty miles southeast of NYC. The aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln is launching off her F-14 Tomcat fighters and F/A-18 Hornet fighter-bombers. They too head towards New York. Guided-missile cruisers and battleships are taking up firing positions.)
(Kain and Jesse return to the ground and head off to a small restaurant. Of course, they take a booth. Sally joins them after a fifteen-minute-catching-up period.)
Jesse: You're at war? Wow.
Kain: It's not exactly a war. 'Just a reeeeally big fight.
Jesse: Look on the bright side... things can't get any worse, can they?
(A blue-uniformed Air Force officer taps Kain on the shoulders.)
Officer: Mr. Kain?
Kain: (Turning around) Who's asking?
Officer: Colonel Mark Landry, United States Air Force. Are you the Mr. Kain working with Michael Andrews?
Kain: You're that Air Force guy who took them into training.
Landry: Now's not the time to reminisce. We have a dire emergency and the armed forces are responding. We're here to help with Operation Winter Twilight.
Jesse S: I see what's going on here! The military's here to boss us around!
Sally: We don't need your help or anyone else's... for all we know, you could be in on this! If the President's been bought out...
Landry: The armed forces don't trust this Kraxus guy. We already don't get paid enough under Clinton, now Kraxus refused to pay us at all!
(There is a roaring sound in the distance. An MJP-911 clone is bearing down on them.)
Kain: We have enough trouble. Get down!
(They all take cover in an alley as lasers and rockets rain down on them. Colonel Landry takes out a portable radio.)
Landry: Cobra One, this is Tango Charlie! We have a bogey over 51st street that needs dusting off!
Radio: Roger that, colonel. Fox One!
(A fighter somewhere overhead fires off a radar-guided missile. The 911 clone jinks right and drops chaff decoys, but the missile connects and blows off the engines. The enemy aircraft comes apart in mid-air.)
Landry: I'll ask again... can the loyal Armed Forces help you guys out?
Sally: (Puts her hand to one ear.) Shit! Michael's team is under fire!
Kain: What?
Sally: They reached the objective, but there was an ambush! They're outgunned... some mobster in a '77 Corvette and about a hundred thugs! They're getting low on ammo!
Kain: Okay, colonel. The stage is yours.
(Landry picks up his radio.)
(Cut to 42nd street. Michael, Mara, Danny and Summer are pinned down behind the remains of a small building. Tons of pinstripe-suited Mafia gunmen are firing away with automatic weapons, and the Vette is keeping up the pace.)
Mara: What do we do now?
Danny: We've got two clips for the rest of the Sixteens, the M-60s are all out of ammo, we only have one bazooka rocket left, and no more Stingers!
Michael (To wrist-comm): Eddie! We need some fire support! We're stuck here... hurry up!
Eddie: Sir! I'm caught in a tractor beam of some kind!
Michael: Shit!
Mara: What now?
Michael: Hole up and call for help!
Summer: We're not going to fight it out?
Danny: What with, Mom?
(Michael is fumbling madly with his wrist-computer when the display shouts out INCOMING AIRCRAFT.)
Michael: Hunker down! Bogies coming in from the south! (Three specks are coming down from the clouds of tactical fighters overhead.) Looks like this is the end! (The fighters hug the streets and bear down on the combat zone.)
Mara: It's been great, everyone!
Michael: Wait a second... those are Navy F-18s!
(The F/A-18s drop cluster bombs and peel off the bomb run. The cluster bombs split open and dispense tiny silver disks over a large area.)
Michael: Cover!
(There is a string of pop-pop-pop-pop noises as all the bomblets explode. All of the mobsters are cut down, but the Corvette is getting away.)
Malochio (Over loudspeaker): It's been fun, Mr. Andrews. Till we meet again...
(The Vette wheels around and starts heading off at high speed. Another F-18 comes down from the sky, carrying smart bombs.)
Michael's Radio: Attention, Strike Force One, this is Marine flight Mad Dog One. Request laser designation of target, over and out.
Michael: Danny, hand me that big boxy thing that looks like a TV camera, would you? Thanks. (Michael flips a few switches and looks through the viewport, centering a crosshairs on the fleeing car.) Mad Dog One, the target is lit. Take him out, Marine!
(The F-18 drops two laser-guided bombs and heads off. The bombs spiral down right onto the Corvette. Two crumps and four thousand pounds of high explosive later, and there is only a crater where the '77 Vette was.)
Mara: Jackpot! (Hugs Michael, Danny and Summer.)
Michael (Over radio): Eagle One, this is Strike Force One. Objective reached, enemy forces cleared. We have the location of PrestonCorp International in sight. Am digging in and awaiting rendezvous.
Kain: Good work. We've got the Army heading in, the Air Force overhead, and the Navy is offshore to help us out.
Mara: Kickass!
Kain: Lay low. We'll be with you guys soon.
Guy: ....and here's your new I.D.. Good luck on your new adventure, Daria Morgan. (Walks back inside.)
Jane: You really did it. I don't believe this. I thought you were just joking when you said you wanted to have your name changed.
Daria: (Emphasizing) Would I joke about something like that?
Jane: YES!!
Daria: 'Sorry to disappoint you. I just don't want to be at all associated with my former family.
Jane: Well, how are you going to support yourself? Surely, your parents aren't going to stand for this.
Daria: I've got a plan.
Jane: Which is?
Daria: I can't talk about it. I've sworn myself to secrecy.
Wind: Maybe if she paid you enough........ (Everyone looks at Wind with disgust) What?
Penny: What IS the big deal here? So she can't tell you anything. So what?
Jane: Daria's never kept anything from me before.
Voice: I'll bet I could pry that secret out.
Daria: (Turns around fast at the sound of the familiar voice) I remember you!
Jane: (Extremely pissed) You! You're that guy that tried to kill my friend at the festival!
Jason: The same. Boy, I just LOVE these jobs. I get up at the crack of dawn, suit up, and kill somebody I hardly even know. That's life. That's death. It's all the same, nowdays.
Wind: So, what are you waiting for?
Jason: Nothing. I'm not commissioned to kill any of you today. But, I'm pondering as to why I was supposed to do you in like that. You seem like nice people to me. Well, I'm off. My wife sent me out to get some milk. Hopefully, we won't meet again. (Walks away.)
Penny: Who.....?
Daria: Jason Wesker. A top-of-the-line Bounty Hunter/Hitman.
Jane: Let's get going.
Dark-haired one: (To Sharon)Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh. Uhhh, hey baby.
Sharon: Do you have a death-wish, or something?
Blonde-haired one: (To Quinn)Hi. M-heh-heh-heh.
Quinn: Hi. You're kinda cute. I'm Quinn.
Voice: M-heh-heh-heh-heh. (His face turns red.) M-heh-heh-heh-heh-M-heh-heh-heh-heh!!
Bonnie: I guess old habits are hard to break.
(Suddenly, in the distance, someone's talking with one of the salesmen.)
Voice: I need a something that's soft, yet shiny.
Salesman: I think I have the perfect couch for you, Mr. Leno.
(Suddeny, he sees the couch the girls are sitting on.)
Jay: Hey, I heard about you. Nice job. Score one more for the red, white, and blue.
Bonnie: Thanks.
Jay: I got an idea. How'd you all like to be guests on my show?
Heather: Uh, sure. What time?
Jay: My show's taped at Seven. Here's the plan........
Reuben: I still don't see why you're with us.
Jackyl: Why ask why? I'm just enjoying the ride. 'scuse me for a second. (Jackyl flies up to the now empty stage. He's about to get everybody's attention.)
Trent: Owh no. What's the hell's he about to do?
Jackyl: (Flies up onto the stool.) Hey, somebody fix this mic stand. (Someone does exactly that.) Hello, everyone, my name's Jackyl. Don't try to adjust your glasses or your beer goggles, I'm a parrot, please try to accept that.
Woman in crowd: I wonder who owns him?
Jackyl: As of today, I'm nineteen years old. I've been pissing people off for almost as long. All I have to do is talk like I normally do, and people are riled up enough to where they want to wring my little dinky-ass neck. But they can't, because if they did, the Animal rights people would be all over their asses for a long time.
Jesse: He's a handfull.
Jackyl: I want to send out a warning to all the cats of the world. Don't even think of trying to eat me. Three reasons. Three reasons not to eat me. One, I don't taste very good. There's no way in hell I can stress that enough. Added to the fact that they have no clue as to where I've been. Two, I'm a national treasure just waiting to be discovered. Three, I can pretty much defend myself from all known predators. See that guy back there pointing a gun at me, watch this.
(Jackyl looks over to his right, a stool raises from the ground, and nails the gunman across the face, the crowd applauds)
Jackyl: Now, where was I? Oh yeah, my childhood. A living hell. My best friend in the world, John, kept feeding me birdseed. I specifically asked for a pizza and a Cool Miller Draft, NO FUCKIN' DICE!! I wanted to peck everyone's eyes out of their sockets. Eventually, I got over it.
(Ed note: This goes on..............)
Kain: So, how's the world treating you all?
Trent: Kinda nerveracking. I figured Jackyl would drive me insane at the coffeehouse.
Jackyl: What the hell's your problem?
Trent: I can't stand you. That's my problem.
Jackyl: What'za matta?! 'Little boid 'come a nuisance?
Trent: Stay the fuck away from me.
Kain: (Sighs) Moving right along... I hear that Quinn and her flock are going to get their twenty minutes of fame in a little bit.
Jane: Yeah, I guess her being popular is going to pay off after all
Daria: Suddenly, I feel sick again.
Trent: Does that happen often?
Jane: Too often.
Uziman: Our little wandering went uneventful. It's a shame, too. I really wanted to kill something.
Sally: You'll kill anyhting that moves. You need to curb that temper.
Kain: And what of the American James Bond?
Michael: The Italian Mafia is here too, and they're under contract to get us. We had to get rid of one.
Kain: Then we'd better hurry and get this over with before more come. My troubles never seem to go away. I got to settle an old score with a old friend. Oh well. Enough of the past. We've got a bead on the really-really bad place.
Sally: What're they waiting for?!
Tommy: I think we're about to find out.
Quinn: Hasn't this gotten bad enough?
Jane: Nope. It'd have to get worse.
Wind: Hey, look!
(The crowd opens up, three guys in trenchcoats, and an eight foot man-machine, with a treaded base instead of feet, come into the circle. One of the guys is 7"2, with a red lining inside his coat, and shorter hair.)
Daria: Aren't you.....?
Kraxus: Yes. I am Kraxus. The lord of this pathetic world. And these are my trusted associates, Genocide, Aarsen, and T.A.N.K.. They'll make short work of you, since your best friend bailed on you.
Shotgun: Not likely.
Kraxus: Face it, you're hopelessly outnumbered.
Jackyl: Big hairy shit!
Genocide: Yeah, scary, ain't it? The truth can be at times, you gotta chew it, swallow it, digest it, and poop it. And when it you do, you gotta eat that too. (Everyone looks at him funny) Oh wait, birds don't eat their own shit, sorry. I fucked up. (He whips out a longsword from his trenchcoat) But then, does it really matter?
Uziman: Uh-huh. (Does the finger twirl) Cookoo. Cookoo.
Kraxus: Ok, playtime's over, kids. Guys, kill 'em. And when you're done, bring me their brains in labeled plastic bags. (Walks off, then.....)
Voice: You're not going anywhere.
Kraxus: Is that so (Turns around, it's the Power Rangers, in full force.)? Oh, it's you. Do yourselves a favor and leave now, while you still have your heads.
Jake/Platinum: We're not leaving until you give us back what's ours.
Kraxus: You have no idea what it really does.
Steve/Crystal: Just give us the damn talisman.
Kraxus: No.
(Just then, The Crystal Ranger is raised above the ground, and slammed into the side of the building. Kraxus raises his hand, and the Platinum Ranger is lifted off the ground, he's slammed into the concrete, face-first. Everyone looks at him in fear.)
Kraxus: The mind is more powerful than the body. (He goes back inside the building. But stops to say....) Oh, by the way. Your air and ground support, they're not coming. So you can just forget about that. (The Power Rangers suddenly DeMorph) No one comes, no one goes. This little shield I developed keeps the outside world at bay, and it strips you of your power. You're now just ordinary people......
(Suddenly, Kraxus hovers into the air, and gets slammed into each of the windows, afterwards, he falls flat on his face. He looks up in total disgust.)
Kraxus: WHO DID THAT?!!?
Kain: (From nowhere) You're getting soft, old buddy.
Kraxus: (He looks at his loyal followers, they're just staring at him.) WELL?! DON'T JUST STAND THERE, KILL 'EM!!!
(The circle closes in on our intrepid warriors, the Power Rangers still fight as if they were in their spandex-like outfits. Kain swings in from out of nowhere and slashes his counterpart with his lightsaber at the stun setting. Kraxus is still on his feet. )
Kain's doing some form of fencing match with Kraxus, who seems to have the same kind of weapon.
Daria and Jane know self-defense, so they can defend themself pretty well.
Trent, Jesse, ane Reuben have been in dozens of bar fights, so they can fight.
Michael and Mara know a little thing called "Self-Offense". 'Nuff said.
Sally is a 5th degree black belt. She's always kicking someone's ass.
The Right-Handfull Trio are bashing people with their guns.
The Power Rangers are doing their Brown-Belt-Style martial arts stuff.
This cycle repeats itself for awhile.....
Genocide: Commence plan Omega-Z9.
(Everyone that's still conscious begins fighting in full force, as if they just woke up. The brutal battle continues, everyone's fighting for their lives. The Red Ranger grabs Genocide by the collar.)
Rocky/Red: What's your game, this time?
Genocide: Wouldn't you like to know? (Knees him in the groin, Rocky buckles over. Genocide DDTs him into the hard concrete) Ok, guys. Do it!!
(Two groups of people begin firing in a "V" pattern at several of the "Darrians", they don't care about the shields. One suspiscious gunner attaches several electronic devices to the barrel of his shotgun, no one notices. )
Jane: Are they kidding?!
(Kain grabs a fat biker and tosses him into the second story window. The sniper is turning on the devices.)
Kain: No problem. Hey Daria, did you see the way I....HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
(Daria is face-down on the ground, unconcious, blood is coming out from somwhere on her front.)
(The sniper is pointing his gun upward. Daria must have been the main target.)
Genocide: Everyone! Mission accomplished! Now get out of here before you're caught!! (To Aarsen and T.A.N.K.) We're getting a little extra in our pay this week, boys. Let's get going.
(Everyone leaves. The crew is alone. Everyone's in total shock.)
Trent: (Down on his knees, trying to see if Daria's alright) Daria! Can you hear me?
Jane: Daria, don't you do something stupid like dying on us!
Kain: This has gone way too far.
Tommy/White: Yeah. But everything will be alright once we get that artifact back.
Sally: What artifact?
Jason/Green: Kraxus has the last of eight talismans that were scattered all over the globe. We need that talisman.
Shotgun: And what happens when all eight are together?
Billy/Blue: The world will be cleansed of all evil. (Kain starts to snicker)
Jane/Ruby: What the hell's so funny?
Kain: That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. Everybody, take Daria to the Falcon, there should be a doctor waiting there by now. (Kain is now alone with the Power Rangers. He pulls out his grenage launcher pistol, and aims at them.) Now you listen here. I don't agree much with my counterpart, but this is one of those rare moments. Kraxus is right. You have no idea what those talismans are for. The truth has been tampered with, and if you get that talisman, this planet is going to die.
(Kain pulls out his lightsaber)
Kain: I could care less that you're the famous Power Rangers. I suggest you turn around and start walking. This is my fight.
Katherine/Pink: You mean "our fight".
Kain: No, mine, and mine alone. Don't you understand? I'm doing you a favor by holding you back.
Jake/Platinum: Don't do this, Kain. If you keep us back, we'll consider you an ally to evil forces.
Kain: (Points directly at Jake) Kraxus is mine. And you're not coming within 100 feet of that talisman. I'm going to be coming back later tonight. I don't want to see you. (Taps his necklace and disappears)
Kain: (Worried) How is she?
Doctor: The truth?
Kain: Isn't that why I asked?!
Doctor: She's in a coma. She won't last long without proper care and treatment. She belongs in a hospital.
Kain: No! No hospital! That's why I got all the neccessary equipment and all the tools of the trade. Everyone, listen up! The doc's obviously going to need help, so whatever he asks for, do it. If he needs you to help operate, do it. If he needs you to get something for him, get it. But no hospital. Mikey, (He hands him his necklace) hang on to this for me, 'like I'll be needing it anyway.
Michael: I told you. Don't call me Mike, or Mikey, or anything like that.
Kain: Right now, I could care less if your name was Benny. (He leaves)
Jane: What did he give to you?
Michael: It's his shield necklace.
Kain: Well, dear? Are you ready?
Sally: Ready as I'll ever be.
Voice: Us too.
Kain: I said, this is my fight, alone. If you're not going to leave, Mr. Platinum, at least you could just stay out here and keep an eye on things. We'll handle Kraxus and his Demolition Triangle.
(Cut to: The front desk. Kain and Sally are stopped by the receptionist.)
Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, we're closed for the day.
Kain: That's alright, could I see that phone for a second? (He takes it, and pushes a few numbers, it's now going over the entire intercom system.) Attention, everyone, for your safety, I suggest you leave the building in an orderly fashion. This building has become a battleground, and I don't want innocent lives getting in the way. (Hangs up the phone) That should do it.
(Cut to: The Infirmary on the Falcon. Quinn is the only one there with Daria. Michael and Mara come rushing in. Obviously, she called them here.)
Michael: What?! What's going on?!?!
Quinn: It's Daria! Listen!
Daria: (In a faint voice, she's still in her coma) ..me. Why didn't you tell me? ...... Why didn't you tell me? ..... Why didn't you tell me?
Quinn: Do you know what it means?
Michael: Not a clue.
(Cut to: The elevator in the PrestonCorp building, they decide to go in. It's very quiet all the way up to the Penthouse on the 40th floor. The entire time, Kain and Sally hold hands. Whe they reach the Penthouse, they break off. The elevator doors open, Kraxus is there, at his desk, with his Demolition Triangle, and an unknown woman. Kain and Sally walk up to them.)
Kraxus: You came.
Kain: I came.
Kraxus: Why don't we end this right here and now.
Kain: Why else would I be here? I see you managed to dig up that old fossil. After all the trouble I took to seal her up in the first place.
Woman: The feeling is mutual.
Kraxus: Enough talk.
Kain: You're right. (He reaches into his coat pocket.)
(Quick Cut to: The Infirmary. Daria's still in her coma, but she's speaking more and more clear.)
Daria: Kain.... (As if she knows what's going on.)
(Quick Cut back.)
(Kain's pulling out a strange grenade-like object.)
(Quick Cut back.)
Daria: Don't do it. (Quinn is confused) Don't do it. .......
(Quick Cut back.)
Kain: Technology has served me well. This is called a thermal detonator.
Kraxus: Kain! Buddy! You don't want to do this! You'll die too!
Kain: (Turning on the detonator) Like I care.
(Quick Cut back.)
Daria: Kain, don't do it.
Quinn: (She sits next to Daria, whispering) Daria. What are you trying to tell me?
(Quick Cut back.)
Kain: Wait, I almost forgot. (Kain kisses Sally {One of those long movie-kinds}.) Ok. (He clicks the button)
(Quick Cut back.)
Daria: (Springing awake) NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quinn: (She immediately hugs Daria, and whispers.)Daria, you had me worried sick.
Daria: (Whispering, while crying)He did it, didn't he?
Quinn: Did what? Who?
(Michael, Mara, and Tommy rush into the room)
Michael: Daria?! You're awake! (He runs over to the bad and hugs her.)
Mara: You're not going to believe this!
Daria: He did it, didn't he?
Tommy: How'd you know?!
Quinn: That's what I want to know. Plus, I want to know who she's referring to.
Daria: I saw him, he pulled out some kind of ..... of grenade.
Michael: That'd explain it.
Mara: The top floor of the PrestonCorp building, along with a dozen floors below it. It's been leveled.
Michael: There's no way he could have survived.
Daria: He DID do it. (She buries her face in her hands, and cries.) Kain killed himself. (Quinn covers her mouth with her hands.)
Quinn: What was the other thing about?
Daria: What?
Quinn: You said something else while you were in your coma.
Michael: Oh yeah, you said "Why didn't you tell me?". What was that about?
Daria: Uh, Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout. (Everyone looks at her funny) What? I don't know.
(Trent and Jane come running in.)
Trent: We just heard...... Daria! (He immediately hugs her)
Daria: Mmm, good to see you too.
Jane: (Walking up to her) Don't you EVER scare me like that again (She hugs Daria). How're you feeling?
Daria: I guess the sudden shock yanked me out of it.
Jane: Shock?
Quinn: She burst awake a few minutes ago. Then everyone came running in saying Kain was dead. As if she knew......
(Everyone looks at Daria with a sudden sense of confusion.)
Daria: I still can't believe he did it.
Police Officer: (Walking up to them.) People, this is a crime scene, please get back.
Jane: Did you see a guy with a black trenchcoat in there?
Officer: He might be in the rubble somewhere. I'll tell them to keep an eye out. In the meantime, stay clear. (Daria takes out a notepad, scribbles something down, and hands the piece to the officer)
Daria: My cellphone number. I want to know the instant you find something. The guy's a dear friend.
(They walk away)
2nd Officer: (Walking up to the 1st officer) What was the deal, there?
1st Officer: (Putting up Police Tape) I don't know. They're probably family. So? Any news?
2nd Officer: Nope, not a thing. It's too early to tell.
(Cut to: A typical New York street. The six are just walking to nowhere in particular, and there's no one around.)
Jane: What the hell are we going to do now?
Michael: Yeah, Kain had the key to the Falcon's ignition. We won't be able to get back.
Reuben: Yeah we will. I saw Kain hand the key over to the one with the infared eye.
Daria: At least we know we're not stranded. But this's been a real shithole since day 1. I just can't help but wonder, did he plan this from the start?
Mara: Probably.
Reuben: But why? He had everything anyone would want. Money, Power, Friends, and Knowledge. He had pretty much the sweetest plum. And he just gives it all up?!
Trent: I know what you mean. It just doesn't make any sense.
Jane: Maybe it's not supposed to make sense. Remember when Kurt Cobain killed himself? It didn't make any sense, either.
Daria: This thing's just gotten too weird, even for me.
Voice: (It fills their minds) Death is weird. Life is even weirder.
Michael: Who said that?!
Voice: Even the knowledge of one can lead to the downfall of the entire nest.
Jane: What the hell are you talking about?
Trent: I think I know.
Mara: Please, enlighten us.
Trent: The Quinn/Ex-Quinns/Spice Girls incident was all over the news.
Jane: That'd explain why they got on the Tonight Show.
Trent: The only one identified was Quinn.
Daria: Shit.
Reuben: Hey, whoever you are, are you still there?
Voice: (Annoyed) What?
Reuben: So if they know that Quinn was the one known to the public, then it could ruin us somehow?
Voice: You understand. Good. I must go now.
Michael: But we didn't get your name.
Voice: Why bother? You'll never hear from me again.
(A few minutes of silence pass)
Daria: (Sarcastic) This just keeps getting better and better.
Daria: (Clicking the 'talk" button) Hello?
Voice: Ms. Morgan? This is the NYPD. I just thought I should give you our findings.
Daria: (Waking up fully) Did you find anyone?!
Officer: No. We searched the rubble from top to bottom. It's as if no one was there when the place exploded.
Daria: That's odd.
Officer: We're doing an extensive search of the area. We'll let you know if we find anything.
Daria: Thank you, (CLICK) you worthless fuck. (She puts the phone down, rolls back, and realizes that Trent heard her every word. She blushes.)
Trent: Sorry. I can't help myself at times.
Daria: (Slouches back into bed.) I wonder how Kain dealt with this kind of pressure.
Trent: Let's not worry about that now......