Disclaimer: Daria and associated characters are owned by MTV. This is fan fiction written for entertainment only. No money or other negotiable currency or goods have been exchanged.
This was a result of Isa Yo-Jo's challenge to me to do a Daria/Mortal Kombat crossover (with one PPMB resident included), as part of The Angst Guy's "I challenge you" Iron Chef proposal.
The young, blond-haired woman left the video store, glad to be free from work and back into her customary jeans and white peace symbol emblazoned, magenta t-shirt. She spoke to nobody in particular, "I can't believe that new restaurant is called 'Good Time Chinese'. I have to check this out."
Approaching the restaurant from the back, she saw three figures by the dumpster. One was a teenage girl with auburn hair, green top and black skirt; the second, a teen girl with black hair, red shirt and dark grey shorts, both wearing heavy boots. The third was young man with black hair in torn jeans and a t-shirt, holding a guitar.
Girl in Red: "Damn, where the hell is this? It certainly isn't Lawndale."
Girl in Green: (Sighs) "No idea. We're going to have to go back through and ask for directions, it looks like. Why are people idiots, even in my hallucinations?"
The young woman stood transfixed. "It can't be."
Girl in Red: "Might as well try again, maybe diaper-boy and the little green leper can get it right next time."
Girl in Green: "Or I'm sticking that taser up his butt and pulling the trigger. See how much he enjoys being in love with himself."
Girl in Red: "As long as we don't have to watch the after-effects."
Man with Guitar: "Let's go, I get the feeling someone's watching us."
The young woman backed away a couple feet.
Girl in Red: "Okay, let's go. This place is giving me the creeps, too."
Girl in Green: "Lay on, McJane." She gestured toward blackness on the back wall of the building.
One at a time, the three vanished into the black surface. The blond woman, on impulse, sprinted toward the wall. "I wonder." She touched the black face and found herself pulled into it. Moments later, she stepped out into a side-street on an island and thought; I don't think this is Holiday Island.
Man with Guitar: "This doesn't look right, either."
The blond woman stumbled. "Eep!"
Girl in Green: "Okay, who are you?"
"My...my friends call my Isa."
"Very nice. I don't even want to know what holiday you are, just get us back to where we belong. And give Cupid and Paddy a swift kick for all three of us."
"I'm not a holiday. I followed you through that black wall behind that new Chinese restaurant."
"Oh, crap. This is getting weirder."
Isa looked at the three and spoke slowly. "This might be weirder than you thought. If I'm right, your name is Daria Morgendorffer, hers is Jane Lane, and her brother, Trent."
Jane looked spooked. "Okay, I demand we inspect her neck, or any other body parts, for implants. Now."
Daria raised a hand to restrain Jane. "How do you know us?"
Isa shuffled her feet. "You're characters in an animated TV show that ran on MTV a few years ago."
"I mean it."
"I certainly don't feel animated."
"No, no you're not. But that's how I know you. Okay. You asked me if I was a holiday. So, you've just left Holiday Island after convincing Christmas, Halloween, and Guy Fawkes Day to return. Trent just played with their band at the prom. And you're clearly upset at Cupid and St. Patrick's Day."
"Okay, I admit you know stuff about us…that I'm not convinced I know about myself. Let's not worry about that now. Do you have any idea where we are?"
A flash of lightning startled all four, but not as much as the man with long, grey hair that appeared in front of them.
Isa said, "Hey, he looks like Christopher Lambert in the movie Mortal Kombat. Oops, I've got a bad feeling about this
The stranger said, "I am Rayden, God of Lightning and Protector of the Realm of Earth."
Isa's eyes went wide. "We're in deep doodoo."
Daria looked at Rayden, seated at the head of the table as all five ate dinner. "So, we have been chosen to defend Earth is this tournament, even though we have no more than Ms. Barch's Take Back the Night self-defense dirty tricks. If we loose, the Outworld will invade."
"That is correct."
"Could you please tell us; how were we chosen? Instead of somebody…oh…who might be a little bit competent at martial arts?"
"Fate works in convoluted and unusual ways."
"Apparently fate is pissed off at us and Earth." Daria turned to Isa and pointed at the pistol tucked into her back waistband. "Hey, at least you have a weapon."
Isa grabbed the pistol and pulled the trigger. Click - a small flag with "Bang" emerged from the muzzle. "Not really."
The next morning, they stood on the edge of a large arena. Opposite, the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung, and his minions, Scorpion, Reptile, and Sub-Zero.
Shang Tsung called out. "I am feeling magnanimous today. One of your champions may come forth to issue the first challenge!"
Daria leaned over and whispered to Trent. "We need to convince them, in one dramatic gesture, to run away. From what Isa said about the movie, one of us must face their greatest fear to win. I know this won't be easy, but I think it has the best chance of success."
"I don't know, Daria. This is something that causes nightmares."
"Trent. I know you're scared. It is your biggest fear. So, of course it causes nightmares. But, it's the only way I can think of to get us out of this."
"Are you sure?"
Daria placed a hand on Trent's shoulder. "No."
"I don't know if I can."
"Yes you can, Trent."
Trent stood, slightly trembling.
Daria looked across the arena at the very frightening-looking goons waiting to be called. Desperate situations call for desperate measures, she thought.
Daria rose up on her toes and kissed Trent. "For luck."
Trent looked down in amazement at her, shook his head, and stepped back. He briefly tuned the guitar, and started to play, soon his voice followed:
Well, I just got into town about an hour ago
Took a look around, see which way the wind blow
Where the little girls in their Hollywood bungalows
The three opposing warriors fell to their knees, hands over their ears.
Are you a lucky little lady in The City of Light
Or just another lost angel...City of Night
City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon
The evil minions began to writhe on the ground in agony.
L.A. Woman, L.A. Woman
L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon
L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon
L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon
Drive thru your suburbs
Into your blues, into your blues, yeah
Into your blue-blue Blues
Into your blues, ohh, yeah
When Trent went into an instrumental riff, they jumped up and bolted for the door. Rayden placed a hand on Trent's shoulder. "Okay, son. You can stop now. Please."
Rayden called across the arena, "Shang Tsung, your champions have deserted you, and mine has faced his greatest fear. You have been defeated. Go back to the Outworlds and wait for the next tournament."
Rayden turned faced the four. "Thank you. You have saved the Earth. Our gratitude will always be with you. Return now to the place from which you entered our realm."
With a blinding flash, the four found themselves outside the Good Times near Isa's work.
Isa was thinking. I know their future. Maybe I can help them avoid the bad parts. But can I change history? Wait, we already have, Daria kissed Trent. I can tell Trent to dump Monique now. Tell Daria not to ask Trent to do the music for the project, or to get into Tom's car. There's so much I can…
A hand fell on her shoulder and a soft voice said, "Sorry my dear, that kind of stuff is my job." She turned to see Cupid and Patrick standing at the interdimensional portal. "You have to stay here, and I can't allow you to say anything about what you were thinking."
Patrick was pushing Daria, Jane, and Trent toward the portal. "Come on now. We've got to get you through before the stupid network goes on the blink again. Damn computer viruses. Always hit the routing system. In you go." He pushed all three through at once, reached back, grabbed Cupid and pulled him through. The black face on the wall vanished, leaving the plain, soiled block walls.
Isa looked at the wall for a couple minutes. "On second thought, I think I'll skip the Chinese tonight and get some pizza."
Lyrics from L.A. Woman, The Doors.
Thanks to Kristen Bealer for beta reading.
Revised February 2005