Disclaimer: I don’t own Daria or any of the characters in it. I just like borrowing them now and then. That being said, this is my first attempt at fanfic, so be gentle. The lyrics to the song are mine, just thought it sounded like a Spiral song, hope you enjoy. Any and all feedback is welcome. I can be found at sarahlane84@live.com

Without Further Ado, here’s Combat Girl:

It’s about 3 years after graduation and Daria and Jane are home for summer break. The scene opens in the Lane kitchen where Jane and Daria are arguing.

“Come on Daria, we don’t have time to find anyone else.”

“No can do Jane, why don’t you do it?”

“Because I have to be behind the camera. Besides, playing my brother’s love interest in a music video is too twisted, even for me.” Jane made a disgusted face as she fiddled with the camera.

“Why don’t you call Monique? I’m sure she’d be happy to help… Or she might know someone else.”

“Monique and Trent haven’t spoken in over a year, and it needs to be someone he’s comfortable with.” Sudden realization sparked in Jane’s eyes as she looked up. “That’s it… It’s too awkward given your history, isn’t it?”

“Jane…” Daria shook her head, her tone full of warning, just as Trent walked in with his impeccable timing.

“What history Janey? Daria and I never dated.” He scratched his head as Daria shot death rays at Jane.

“I know that!” Janey rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath “Captain Oblivious….”

She scrambled to cover before those little dots started connecting in his brain.

“What I meant was…. That you and Daria have known each other so long that she might consider you the brother she never had.” Jane grinned triumphantly as Daria bit her lip nervously.

“Oh…” Trent thought for a moment then grinned. “That’s kind of cool Daria, that you would think of me like that.”

“You know me… full of sentimental ramblings and emotional attachment.” Daria gave a relieved little smirk.

“Attachments… makes you sound like a Hoover.” Jane grinned, “Does that mean you can su-“

“Can it Lane!” Daria tossed a snack cake at Jane’s head, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Or you’re gonna spend the next few months sucking your food through a straw.”

Trent did his laugh/cough, “Good one, Daria”

“Alright, alright.” Jane grinned, holding her hands up in surrender. “But we still need to find our video vixen. C’mon Daria… You’re our only hope.”

“What about me says “Vixen” to you?” Daria raised an eyebrow. Seeing the smirk on Jane’s face, she put up her hand. “Never mind, don’t answer that, I do not want to know.”

“Come on Daria! Pleeeease? You wouldn’t want to kill the hopes and dreams of an up-and-coming musician, would you?” She smacked Trent in the chest. “Look pitiful Dammit! I’m trying to help you here!”

“Wha? Oh” Trent grinned and turned to Daria, putting on his most pathetic puppy dog face.

“Now who could say no to that?” Jane grinned.

“I don’t know… I…” Daria shook her head a bit, looking down at her hands. Jane nudged Trent, gesturing for him to do something. Daria’s head shot up when Trent took her hands, fixing her with an earnest gaze. His voice was just above a whisper when he spoke.

“Please Daria… You’re our only hope. The Spiral needs you.” He squeezed her hands gently. “I need you.”

Daria sighed in defeat, closing her eyes as she shook her head.

“I hate you both.”

Trent looked confused when Jane clapped her hands excitedly. He turned back to Daria, waiting for her to open her eyes.

“Fine.” Daria looked at him miserably. “When do we start?”

Trent grinned broadly, scooping Daria up and spinning her around.

“Ugh! Jane! Call him off! Call him off!” Daria batted at Trent’s shoulders.

“Down Trent! Down… This is why we keep you on that leash.” Jane smirked.

“Huh?” Trent looked up at Daria’s slightly green face, “Oh, sorry.”

Trent gingerly set Daria down, leaving his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

“Sorry, got a bit carried away there.” He grinned sheepishly as the color returned to her face.

“Looked like she was the one about to be carried away.” Jane chuckled.

“Can it Jane!” Trent and Daria shouted at the same time, causing Jane to burst into laughter. Trent rolled his eyes and turned back to Daria. He gave her his goofy little grin and squeezed her shoulders.

“You are a lifesaver.” He quickly hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Thanks…. Sis.” His grin broadened as he pulled away.

“I gotta go tell the guys. Spiral lives!!” he bounded out of the room in search of his band.

Daria turned to Jane who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Wow, Christmas already? From green to red in 3.2 seconds, that’s gotta be a record.” Jane chuckled at the death look Daria shot her. “Come on SIS… your lover, I mean your brother awaits.”

“I’m sending you my psychiatrist bills.”

“More material for that junk mail sculpture I’ve been dreaming of. Now let’s get you to wardrobe.”

“Wardrobe? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing now?”

“You don’t look like a Combat Girl.”

“I’ll show you combat…”

“Another time Amiga, we’ve got bigger fish to fry today….. Now where are your contacts?” Jane grinned evilly at the look of horror on Daria’s face.

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Don’t you always? Now let’s go, time’s a waistin. To my laboratory!” Jane cackled as she grabbed Daria’s arm and dragged her upstairs. “We have a lot of work to do.”

“So what exactly are we doing this for again?” Daria asked as Jane sat her down on the bed.

“A contest sponsored by the local TV station. They want up and coming bands to make a music video and send it in. The winner gets their video added to the late-night lineup. Now hold still while I put on the eyeliner.” Jane grinned evilly. “This won’t hurt a bit.”

The camera cuts to an outside view of the Lane house as we hear Daria scream.

“Ow! Dammit Lane, I’m already blind enough!”

A few painful minutes later, Jane walked down the stairs and cleared her throat.

“Gentlemen!” Jane smirked at the band. “I give your Combat Girl!”

Jane gestured to the stairs. We only see the shocked faces of the band as Daria grumbles from off-screen.

“Let’s get this over with.”

From Daria’s point of view we see the inside of a bar, Mystik Spiral is on the stage, awaiting direction as Jane moves around the bar, testing different angles and getting some shots of a small crowd. We see a man get up and walk towards Daria. About halfway to her, he cringes and turns around. Daria’s eyes narrow as she turns to see Jane laughing, having caught the whole thing on tape.

We still see things from Daria’s view as the scene changes to Trent’s bedroom. It’s been cleaned and the only light is from several candles. Trent sits on the bed rolling his eyes as Jane gyrates a bit, trying to get Daria to dance. Jane ducks as a CD case narrowly misses her head. Jesse grabs her by the arm and drags her away as Daria’s eyes close. When she opens them again she is in the Lane’s bathroom, sliding her glasses back on. She is dressed in a green hoodie and jeans as she leaves the bathroom and heads down the stairs.

She flops on the couch and turns on the TV as Trent comes in from the kitchen.

“Is she done with the video yet?” Daria turned the volume down as he sat beside her.

“Nah, it’s gonna take a while, Danny just got here. They’re up in her room playin around with some software he brought over.” He grinned at her. “Thanks again Daria. You were an awesome Combat Girl.”

“Um, thanks.” Daria mumbled, looking down at her hands for a moment. She looked back up and raised an eyebrow. “Where exactly did that song come from anyway?”

“Something Jesse said. Jane got really pissed at him for eating her gummy bears one day. He tried to get out of it by telling her she looked hot when she was mad.” Trent grinned. “Haven’t seen him get his ass kicked like that in a while.”

Daria smirked and shook her head. “I still don’t get the whole Combat Girl thing though.”

“The boots.” Trent gestured to Daria’s feet. “Jess says when he sees a girl in combat boots, he doesn’t know if he should be turned on or scared.”

“Interesting.” Daria shook her head a bit.

“What? C’mon Daria, think about it. A woman in boots is hot, no question about it. But combat boots add a bit of an edge. A woman in combat boots doesn’t take any crap” Trent grinned at her. “Like you. You’d kick the ass of anyone who looked at you wrong without batting an eye. It’s part of what makes you so cool.”

“Thanks…. I think.” Daria blushed a bit as she turned back to the TV. “Up for some Sick, Sad World?”

Trent shrugged, leaning back into the couch and stretching his legs.

A couple weeks later, we see Daria knocking on the Lane’s door. Jane opens the door and drags her in.

“About time you got here! It’s almost time!” Jane shut the door and ran back to the couch, gesturing for Daria to have a seat. Daria nodded to the band as she settled on the arm of the couch next to Jane.

“And now it’s time to announce the winner of the Legends of Lawndale Video contest.” The woman on the TV chirped. Jane turned the volume up and leaned forward.

“Our winner comes from right here in Lawndale. A group of four young men who call themselves Mystik Spiral.”

Everyone cheered, Jane stood up and did a victory dance before waving to everyone to quiet down.

“Shhh, here’s my masterpiece.”

“And without further ado.” The reporter announced. “Here is Mystik Spiral’s video ‘Combat Girl’ Enjoy.”

Cut to the TV screen as the video starts to play.

(Start with a bit of feedback from a guitar, the inside of the door at the bar, close zoom on the bottom of the doorway just as it opens. We see a pair of black combat boots step in as the music finally starts [think typical Mystik Spiral, maybe a bit like “Icebox Woman”] as the camera continues upward, Trent starts to sing)

You got your boots on tonight

And you look ready to fight

The camera pans up a pair of bare legs to a black pleated skirt that falls just above the knees. Then, we see a black jacket, unzipped halfway, revealing a dark green shirt beneath)

And I’m thinking I might

Have found the love of my life

(The camera finally reaches Daria’s face, she is almost unrecognizable. Her hair is pulled back in a low bun, and she’s got the dreaded contacts in with just a hint of eyeliner and lipstick. She looks around with little interest, and makes her way to the bar, ignoring everyone around her as the band jumps into the chorus)

Combat girl

You’ve got those boots on

Combat girl

Yeah you’re headstrong

Combat girl

This stupid love song

Will never be enough for you

(Daria orders a drink, and turns, leaning back against the bar as she takes a sip. She glances around again, looking bored, raising an eyebrow slightly as her gaze falls on the stage. At this point, we see that Mystik Spiral is the band performing. She hides a small smirk, taking another sip of her drink)

You’d just laugh at bouquets

If I sent chocolate your way

(We watch from Trent’s pov as a guy approaches Daria, she shoots him a look and he turns away without even speaking to her)

You’d slice me like a filet

So I just think I’ll say… Hey

(Cut to a close-up of Trent as he sings the chorus)

Combat girl

You’ve got those boots on

(The camera cuts between Trent and Daria, she sets her drink down and puts her elbows on the bar behind her, shooting him a look that screams “Just try it”)

Combat girl

Yeah you’re headstrong

Combat girl

This stupid love song

(Trent takes off his guitar and jumps off the stage, handing the guitar to some random person. The music drops to just the bass and the drums as he makes his way across the bar, almost growling the bridge of the song)

Come a little closer baby

Let me feel your light

(Daria raises one eyebrow as he draws near, she looks him up and down once)

I promise not to be prince charming

If you promise that you’ll bite

(She pushes off the bar, crossing her arms across her chest as he finally closes the gap, stopping just inches from her. They stare each other down for a few seconds as Jesse starts strumming the guitar, building volume slowly)

Just take me home tonight

(She smirks a little, uncrossing her arms as she turns to go. She’s almost out of reach when Trent grabs her arm as the band stops for a second, then launches back into the tune as she turns her head)

I see your face in my dreams

And in those Hollywood scenes

(Trent moves closer, turning her to face him and leaning down so his face is just inches from hers)

We take it to the extreme

Yeah you’re makin me scream

(He puts his hands on either side of her neck, using his thumbs to tilt her head back. He leans in for a kiss as the chorus starts)

Combat girl

(She smirks, shoving him back, and we see they are no longer in a bar, but the candlelit bedroom. He falls back on the bed as she takes a step back)

You’ve got those boots on

Combat girl

(She slowly unzips her jacket as he sits up, leaning back on his hands, and grinning slyly.)

Yeah you’re headstrong

Combat girl

(The jacket falls away, revealing that the green shirt beneath is a tank top that hugs some decent curves. She pulls a pin from her hair, shaking her head a little as it cascades across her shoulders. She walks toward him, licking her lips slowly)

This stupid love song

Will never be enough for you

(Daria straddles him on the bed, her hands tilting his head back as she leans in for a kiss, close up of Trent’s face as he starts to close his eyes)

Yeah it’ll never be enough for you

(Trent’s eyes open again and he is back in the bar onstage)

I know I’ll never be enough for you

(The camera swings back to Daria, as she drains her glass in one gulp and slams it on the bar, giving him one last look as she turns to leave. The music dies slowly, until we just hear feedback again. Cut to Trent’s face as he backs away from the mic, lowering his head and closing his eyes)

As the video ends, we see the group in the living room again. The guys all look pretty pleased, Jane is grinning broadly, and Daria looks slightly uncomfortable. Jane nudges Daria’s leg with her elbow.

“So how’s it feel to be a star? Will you remember us little people when you’re living in that mansion?”

“I’ll put flowers on your grave every year Jane.” Daria deadpanned.

“I still say we should’ve gotten that pole in Trent’s room.” Jane pouted. “Would’ve added some pop to the video.”

“Much like the pop you’re about to feel.” Daria glared as Jane glanced up confused. “Just hold still Jane… This won’t hurt a bit.”

Cut to the outside of the Lane house as we hear a loud thud and Jane yelp.

“Ow!”

The End