Daria Does America Part I
by Pat Johnson
[This scene begins during a typical June day at Lawndale High School]
Loudspeaker (Principal Li's voice): Good afternoon productive workers, I mean, students of Lawndale High. As you are well aware of, we are having our annual awards assembly at the end of this week for the seniors that have distinguished themselves throughout their career here. I urge all of you to come and be on hand for this wonderful night. Also, whomever stole the diplomas out of the office, and you know who you are, please return them IMMEDIATELY or else graduation will be cancelled once again this year!
Daria: Well, another wonderful order from the commander above. I can't believe the year is almost over already.
Jane: Yeah, another 180 days gone past that I'll never get back. Think we can apply for a refund?
Daria: It's not worth it. Besides, anyone over 30 here will claim that we are benefiting by coming here everyday but I don't buy it for a second.
Jane: Oh well, at least there's the summer. Do you know what you are doing yet?
Daria: No, I could get the job where I clean up after the elephants at the zoo but I have too much dignity to do that again
Jane: I didn't know you had any.
Daria: Believe me, it's here……under a heavy veneer of cynicism.
Jane: I don't know what I am doing yet. I spent half of last summer doing what Trent did.
Daria: What, practicing music and playing gigs?
Jane: No, just the sleeping in 'til 2 bit. I am looking for a lot more action this time around
Daria: Nothing wrong with that, just be sure that you do something productive.
Jane: I will, unlike her (pointing)
[Daria and Jane are at Daria's locker watching Quinn walk by with the three J's behind her]
Jeffy: So Quinn, what are you going to do this summer?
Quinn (turning around after trying to ditch them) : For the last time, I am telling you! I am going to go to fashion camp with the fashion club and learn more there than this school will ever teach me
Joey: But…..
Quinn (interrupting): And no! None of you can come, at least not until you can get into the fashion club.
Jamie: That's not fair! Guys can't do that without losing their toughness. Are you sure you don't want to come up to my shorehouse with me and my family?
Jeffy (boasting): She would rather be with me at my lakehouse
Joey: It's way too boring to have a good time. She would rather go to Europe with me!
Jamie: Would not!
Joey: Would too!
Jeffy: You guys are both wrong!
Joey: Shutup, brown noser!
Jeffy (ready to throw a punch) Why you little…..
[All three proceed to fight in the hall while Daria and Jane stare at each other and wryly smile]
Daria: I'll see you after school Jane
Jane: later…..
Daria(calling at Quinn to come over): Hey Quinn
Quinn: Yeah
Daria: Do you actually enjoy watching them fight over you or do they love to get in trouble every week?
Quinn: I don't know, sometimes I wish they would get off of my backs and stop following me around 24/7
Daria: Wish I could help you…..
Quinn: You can, just hang around me more often!
Daria (stern voice): I don't know why I bother with you sometimes……
Quinn: Because you would twice as unpopular as you are now if I wasn't here
Daria:(mean look on face): Get out of my sight now and don't even THINK of opening the door to your room later
[Quinn and Daria go their separate ways to class]
Scene II
[This scene takes place later that afternoon at the Morgendorffer household]
Jake: Helen, will you look at all of this mail that we have!
Helen: This is really unbelievable, didn't I tell you to get us off of those junk mailing lists?
Jake: I don't remember you telling me that!
Helen: Well, I did! And since you didn't, I can now yell at you for ignoring me as usual
Jake: Wait, I'll make this up to you……..I'll take you on a vacation!
Helen (getting visibly upset): You think that you can right all of the wrongs that you have committed just by taking my somewhere nice?
Jake: It has been a long time since we have had sometime to ourselves!
Helen: Well, it's not my fault you decided to go fishing with the guys the last three weekends I have been totally free.
Jake: Oh sure, like it's my fault that I didn't know what you would be doing
Helen: Put a sock in it Jake!
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!
Helen: I'll go upstairs for this
[Helen goes upstairs to make a call. A few seconds later, Quinn walks in the door]
Jake: Hey Quinn! How was school today?
Quinn: The usual, class was lousy since the teachers kept telling me to be quiet during my gossip hour. And then, the fashion club ripped me for wearing the same outfit two days in a week and wouldn't you believe it, no one asked me out today! Joey, Jeffy, and Jamal wanted me to be with them for the summer but I turned them all down. Who wants to be with one guy for the whole summer?
Jake: That sounds exciting!
Quinn: Who are you kidding Dad?
Jake: No one, I really mean it.
Quinn: Yeah, whatever…..
[Quinn is about to head upstairs when Daria comes down the hall and stands at the top]
Quinn: Well, if it isn't the black cloud herself
Daria: Oh, I see you finally took your foot out of your mouth
Jake: What are you girls arguing about now?
Quinn: Daria won't admit that I am the reason that she is as popular as she is
Daria: For your information, you have no idea what you are talking about. I don't admit anything to you!
Jake: Girls, can't we put this aside? Your mother has had a long day and wouldn't want to hear this!
Helen (from upstairs): Mind your own business!
Daria: My, aren't we all getting along?
Quinn: We would if we could ship you off to Siberia
Daria: The postal service won't take a package that big. I already looked into it after you raided my closet!
Jake: Quit bickering girls, what do you want for dinner tonight?
Daria: Anything but flaky attitudes. I have enough of that to stomach
Jake: How about Lasagna?
Daria and Quinn (together): NO!
Jake: How about take out?
Daria: Good idea, and take Quinn out while you're at it
Quinn: Shutup!
[Quinn goes upstairs and the two nearly stare each other down as they pass by. Daria goes downstairs and all is fine until a loud noise pierces the house]
Quinn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Helen (running in): What is it?
Quinn: I am ruined! All of the posters, pillows, and Waif magazines in my room are gone!
Daria (shouting from downstairs): You ain't seen nothing yet!
[Quinn and Helen go downstairs and everyone is getting upset]
Quinn: (ready to cry) Some sister you are……trying to ruin my life!!!
Daria: I've been doing that for 14 years. Why the accusation now?
Helen: Both of you knock it off!
Jake: Yeah you two!
Helen: Shut up and order dinner Jake!
Jake: Chinese O.K. ?
All 3 in unison: Yes!
Jake: (in a down voice) Will do……
Helen: If I've told you once, I have told you a thousand times, please get along for the love of God and this household! You two need to learn how to live together and benefit from each other.
Daria: Well, not tonight. The Sick Sad World marathon is on and this can wait!
Helen: No it can't! After dinner, all of us are going to sit down and we are going to come up with a solution to this arguing
Daria and Quinn: Yes Mom……
Scene III
[It is after dinner and all are calmed down now]
Helen: Well, what have we learned tonight?
Quinn (monotone voice): Both of us are unique humans that can learn from each other
Daria: And are better together than apart
Quinn: And we won't fight anymore
Daria: Even if it means missing the Sick Sad World marathon
Helen: No jokes now! Both of you to your rooms and don't come down until I come talk to you
[Daria and Quinn go up to their rooms]
Jake: Can I speak now?
Helen: Seeing that it's just you and me down here, yes
Jake: I have an idea honey
Helen: You? What is it?
Jake: How about sending the kids off to Grandpa and Grandma Morgendorffer's house for part of the summer?
Helen: You must be kidding, they won't even recognize them!
Jake: Who cares? At least they will be off of our backs
Helen: I still don't like it….how are they going to get out there?
Jake: We could finally get our vacation I was promising you!
[There is a five-second pause while Helen thinks]
Helen (yelling) : Daria! Quinn! Come down here please
[Daria and Quinn come down]
Helen: Your father and I have an announcement to make
Quinn: You're going to replace my stuff?
Daria: You are going to sell us to parents who know how to raise kids?
Helen (devilish voice): Even better. We have decided to have the two of you go out to Grandpa and Grandma Morgendorffers house in California for part of the summer
[Silence fills the room, Daria and Quinn have blank expressions on their faces]
Quinn: Oh my God! What about my summer with the fashion club?
Daria: I am not too sure about this, we haven't seen them since the first Reagan administration
Helen: Quinn, you can see them when you get back to school but this will be a good bonding experience for the two of you and a chance to see your grandparents while they are still alive!
Quinn: I don't want to go! Why can't you just send Daria?
Daria (turns and faces Quinn): At least I'll finally get away from you and your phoniness. Oh wait a second, I'll still feel a little bit of it out in California.
Quinn: Why don't you go, and never come back?
Helen: ENOUGH!! Your father and I have had plenty of this. Both of you will be gone the day after school ends. We will make the travel arrangements later in the week.
Jake: Look at it this way gir-
Helen: Talk to them later Jake, when we go up to their rooms!
[The kids go upstairs real slowly while Helen has the attitude of taking over a third-world country]
Scene IV
[Lunchtime, the next day, at Lawndale High]
Quinn: So then my Mom sends us up to our rooms. My summer is ruined!
Stacy: You bet. Too bad you can't go to fashion camp now. You are going to be way behind come September.
Sandy: Isn't there any way you could get out of it?
Quinn (sulking): Apparently not…..and (stands up and points to Daria) it's all her fault!
[The cafeteria becomes silent. Daria stares at Quinn before getting up and leaving}
Daria: You have a lot nerve Quinn. Too bad you don't have a heart
[Daria gets up and walks away while Quinn slowly saddens]
Quinn(yelling): Daria, come back!
Stacy: Nice going, fashion misfit!
Quinn: Shutup!
[Daria goes to her locker, Jane leaves the cafeteria and meets her there]
Jane: I am sorry
Daria: It's O.K. I'll get over it. I guess you haven't heard
Jane: Heard what?
Daria: Because of our bickering and Mom and Dad's urge to get us out of the house for a few weeks, Quinn and I are going to visit Grandpa and Grandma Morgendorffer out in California at the end of next week
Jane: No really, what are you going to tell me
Daria: That IS what I have to tell you
Jane: Oh! This sounds like major news
Daria: It is, and you see the way Quinn is acting. This is going to be more torture than it is here
Jane: And when was the last time you saw them?
Daria: When Grandpa Morgendorffer died. Grandma has since re-married but that was long after we went to Grandpa's funeral. I was little and Quinn was just a little baby
Jane: Yeah, and she's as smart then as she is now. Some things never do change
[Both chuckle]
Daria: How about you come on over my house after school, since we won't be together after next week
Jane: Alright, and I'll bring over the Sick, Sad World marathon episodes that I taped too! That should cheer you up
Daria: I don't get cheered up, I just feel less down
Jane: The same goes here too
[Daria and Jane go off to class]
Scene V
[Daria and Jane are in Daria's room that afternoon]
Announcer: Are animal maulings clogging up our prison system? Bears Behind Bars coming up on Sick, Sad World!
Daria: Ahhhhh, what a way to let off steam!
Jane: You said it, the narcoleptic narcs were the best before. And now, more maulings! It doesn't get any better than this
Daria: Not unless Quinn spontaneously combusts, but I don't see that happening anytime soon
Jane: Daria, I was thinking
Daria: About something other than art?
Jane: Yes, I can do that! Anyway, you and Quinn are going out west and I have nothing to do for the summer
Daria: What you are saying is….
Jane: Yes, let me come to California with you
Daria: You don't want to see my family. They're boring, dull, and old as dirt
Jane: Yeah, but think of where we are going!
Daria: To the unhappiest place on earth. What's your point?
Jane: There is a lot to do out there besides seeing family. It's pretty neat out there from what I've heard
Daria: But we are flying out there, we will have no way to get around. Grandpa and Grandma Morgendorffer are too old to drive now.
Jane: But I can drive! And I have my car all lined up
[Long pause and Daria slowly cracks a smile]
Daria: This could work
Jane: Just like the time we made Brittany's friend and Kevin meet at Lover's Lane on quota night?
Daria: Exactly!
Jane: I like the sound of this
Helen (from downstairs): Daria! Joan! Dinner is ready!
Daria: We'll be down in a second
[Daria and Jane go downstairs, the three of them eat at the table]
Daria: Lasagna, for the third time this week
Helen: Not just lasagna, it's lasagna with garlic bread and salad
Daria: Whoa, let me grab a seat
Jane: Mrs. Morgendorffer, I heard that your kids are going to California next week
Helen: Yes, the Grandparents are dying to see them!
[Very cynical look on Daria's face as she looks at Jane]
Jane: I know. I am free this summer and wondered if I could drive the two of them out
Helen: Why would you want to do that?
Jane: It would be more fun and a chance for both of them to "bond" after their recent spats
Helen: You have a point there! Daria, what do you think?
Daria: Jane's trunk is big enough for Quinn
Helen: Stop it Daria! I like the idea and if it's O.K. with Quinn, I will let you do it. Just be careful
Jane: I think that we will be safer on the road than in school
Daria: At least none of us will have a gun
Scene VI
[Second to the last day of school, Daria and Jane are eating lunch]
Daria: Another year almost done
Jane: Amen to that. When do we get to burn our books?
Daria: Right after we get to watch half the football team cry when they find out that they are staying back
Jane: Nothing like a five-year plan to be in chic
Daria: Oh, no
Jane: What?
Daria: If it isn't the queen of snots herself
[Both turn around to see Brittany coming]
Brittany: Hello less popular citizens!
Jane: Don't you have a boyfriend to Elope with?
Daria: Or a bra to stuff?
Brittany: Even better! I got a D on my last history paper!
[Daria and Jane stare at each other]
Jane: And you are happy!?!?
Brittany: Yeah! Now I don't have to stay back and can cheer next year. Goooo team!
Daria: Excuse me while I stop eating
Brittany: What are you two up to?
Jane: Making fun of winners like you……
Brittany: Why do I bother talk- Oh, no, hide me!
Daria: Did she just say what I thought I heard?
Brittany: It's Kevin and I don't want him to see me! He thinks I cheated on him when I went out of town last week
[Kevin spots her from the other side of the Cafeteria and walks over]
Kevin: Hey babe! You still cheating on me or are you going to come clean?
Brittany (yelling): I didn't cheat on you!
Kevin: Then where were you last week when I tried to get a hold of you?
Brittany: That is none of you business!
Kevin: That's because you're ashamed to tell me about the guy you're with now
Brittany: Why you……you………you creep! I don't want to see you again for the whole summer
Daria (whispering to Jane): Then we get to miss watching all of the fun when we get back
Jane: Sad, isn't it?
Kevin: I am going to be over Mack Daddy's house tonight watching the best oft the pigskin channel. Come on over when you are ready to come clean
[Kevin walks away]
Brittany: Oooooooooooooo, I ought to dump him for what he's worth
Daria: That's not how the saying goes
Brittany: I don't care! I've had it up to here with him and want to get away from him for the summer. You girls wouldn't happen to have any suggestions, would you?
Jane: Actually, we are going t-
Daria: Don't tell her!
Brittany: Tell me what?
Jane: Daria, let me have a word with you
[Daria leans over to Jane and away from Brittany]
Jane: Do you realize that I have another seat in my car? If she comes, it will help pay for stuff and it will make Quinn a lot easier to deal with
[Long pause while they think, then they go back to where they were at the table]
Daria: Brittany
Brittany: Yeah
Daria: Me, my sister and Jane are going out to Grandma and Grandpa Morgendorffer's house in California next week and we were wondering if you would come along
Brittany: Would I? Would I? Of course I would! I have always wanted to be like the girls in California
Jane: You already are in more ways than you know
Brittany: And I have family out there too! Maybe we could get time to see them
Daria: And you are able to make it?
Brittany: I have no plans up until cheerleading starts in August
Daria (looking up in disbelief because she is about to say this): Call me the evening on the last day of school and we will get the rest of this together
Brittany: I can't wait to tell all of my friends and that creep who is not nice anymore
[Brittany gets up in excitement and leaves the table]
Jane: Not like he ever was to begin with
Daria: Tell me about it, at least you didn't have to do a science project with him
Jane: Understood. Call me later
[Daria and Jane go back to class]
Scene VII
[That night at the Morgendorffer table during dinner]
Quinn: I don't want to go out to California with Jane and Brittany! They're Daria's friends. What about MY friends?
Daria: Yeah, they've been acting pretty dumb lately
Helen: Sorry Quinn, Daria's friends are older and would be better suited for something like this. Besides, aren't they going to camp?
Quinn: That isn't my point. I would find some to go if it wasn't for Daria and her stupid ideas
Daria: Making your sister a scapegoat at the cafeteria was about 100 times more dumb if you ask me
[Quinn quiets down and eats her dinner without talking]
Jake: Think of it this way, Quinn will get to know Daria's friends better and Daria will….um……..
Daria: Get to know Quinn's faults even better too!
Helen: We have called Grandma and Grandpa and they are thrilled that you are coming. You girls start packing when you are done with dinner and remember to pack light since we've decided that Jane is driving!
[Quinn goes upstairs after a minute or so, Daria follows soon afterwards. Later on, Daria is packing and Quinn comes in her room]
Daria (to herself): I can't believe that we are doing this
Quinn (knocking) Can I come in?
Daria: No!
Quinn (comes in anyway): Listen, I need to tell you something
Daria: What, that you are going to be the largest roadkill we see on our way out?
Quinn: No, what I mea-
Daria: Whatever it is, save it. I have had enough of what you have had to say
Quinn: Daria, I was going to be nice for once but you haven't changed a bit!
Daria: And I intend to keep it that way!
Quinn: You'll pay for this!
[Quinn leaves while Daria continues packing. Meanwhile, Helen and Jake talk downstairs]
Jake: Helen, that was delicious!
Helen: Thank you Jake!
Jake: I didn't realize that you called my parents
Helen: I haven't yet. Since I came up with the idea you can call them and tell them that Daria and Quinn are coming out there
[Puzzled look on Jake's face]
Jake: I don't know about this honey, my Mom and I haven't gotten along since Dad shipped me off to military school and they hated it when we became hippies. I don't know if she's ever forgiven us for it and my stepfather! If I get my way wi-
Helen(angry tone): Just do it Jake. It will make things easier for both of us!
Jake(feeling down): Yes dear……
Scene VIII
[After school the next day, at the pizza hangout]
Jane: So Daria, how's everything going with our trip?
Daria: Quinn is still complaining because none of her friends can go. Like any of them were free anyway
Jane: What does she know, maybe we will have room for her in the trunk
Daria: Not with all of the make-up and magazines that she's probably going to bring. Remember to put a two piece limit for each of us. I don't think that will be a problem for Brittany considering that all she ever wears is cheerleading outfits
Jane: Not a concern. My concern is how Trent is going to survive while we are gone
Daria: I know, I won't be around
Jane: That wasn't what I was talking about. I always run his errands for him. The only place that he can get to with the hours he pulls is the convenience store. Nothing like living off of bread and high-sugar soda
Daria: We had to do that when Mom wasn't home one night. Dad can't make lasagna to save his life
Jane: Think we are going to enjoy this trip?
Daria: Well, having the four of us together will prove interesting. But Grandma and Grandpa Morgendorrffer won't have a clue what is going on. This may turn out to be not so bad after all
Jane: And what about-
[Kevin walks in and sits down while they are talking]
Kevin: I hope you guys realize that letting Brittany brainwash you like this is not going to fool me
Jane: Yeah, noting gets by you. What were we thinking Daria?
Kevin: I am going to follow you when you get out of here and make sure that she's not lying to me!
Daria: Why don't you worry about how many F's you are getting before that happens. Wouldn't being benched next year be something to worry about?
Kevin: Whoa, good point. I am going to call the coach about that. Tell Brittany to watch out though, I'll be watching
[Kevin leaves with a some a somewhat angry look on his face and bumps into an old lady on his way out. The restaurant manager comes along and promptly kicks him off of the premises]
Daria: Thank God for people like him to make us look smarter
Jane: You said it. I'll be over tomorrow morning at 7 A.M. Be ready to go!
Daria: I always am. That's what amazes people so much
Scene IX
[Later that afternoon, at Daria's house]
Brrrrrrrrrrrriiiinngggggggggg!
Helen: Daria, it's for you!
Daria: I got it! Hello?
Brittany: Is this the Morganloafer residence?
Daria: Close enough Brittany, how are you?
Brittany: I'm fine, but my car isn't? Someone let the air out of my tires
Daria: And who could that be?
Brittany: I don't have the slightest idea. Think it could be Upchuck?
Daria(rolling her eyes): He has every reason to be angry with you now
Brittany: Why that little weasel! He's not getting invited to my next party
Daria: Not he still has that camera with the lens he told me about. Are you sure that you were visiting family last weekend?
[short pause]
Brittany(hurried voice): When are we leaving tomorrow morning?
Daria: 7:30 A.M. on the dot so we can get a good start on the highway. And don't forget to pack light. We are travelling by Jane's Car
Brittany: But what about my hair? The wind will ruin it!
Daria: That might not be a bad thing if you think about it
Brittany(pouting): I'll be over in the morning!
[Brittany hangs up. Ten minutes later, the phone rings. Daria picks it up]
Daria: Hello?
Trent: Hey there. Just wanted to say goodbye before you left tomorrow since I won't be up
Daria: Thanks. It was real nice of your sister to drive
Trent: Yeah, but who is going to do my food shopping?
Daria: Buy in bulk
Trent: Not a bad idea. Write back and let me know how things go. It's going to be pretty slow around here
Daria: Will do unless we get carjacked. Then you'll know how we end up
Trent: O.K. Stop by when you get back. Later
Daria: See you
[Daria hangs up the phone and continues to watch T.V.]
Scene X
[That night at Daria's House. Her and Quinn are finishing packing]
Daria(to herself): On the road in 12 hours. This can't be happening. At least I am done for the night
[Daria goes down the hall to downstairs with her bags]
Daria: Oh my God!
Quinn: What are you talking about?
Daria: You brought enough stuff to clothe half the state of California
[Quinn has five bags near the front door]
Quinn: This? This is nothing. I only brought half of the fashion club's magazines and some of my makeup!
Daria: Do I need to repeat myself?
Helen(walking in from Kitchen): Quinn, what on earth are you thinking?
Quinn: That I need a lot of beauty sleep tonight
Daria: Try just a lot more beauty
Helen: I mean with this packing? Go back upstairs and take half of this with you!
Quinn: Yes mom…..
[Quinn takes 3 bags upstairs and unpacks]
Daria: Mom?
Helen: Yes Daria?
Daria: Is you really sending us out there because we haven't seen our Grandparents in a while or are you trying to get out of the house for a vacation and aren't telling us?
Jake(coming in from the upstairs bedroom): Honey, I got all of the resort brochures that you were aski-
[stops when he sees Daria]
Daria: That explains everything. Have a great trip and get me a t-shirt when you are there
[Daria goes back upstairs to get ready for bed]
Jake: I'm sorry honey. I didn't know they were home and when I-
Helen(shouting): Put it away Jake!
[upstairs]
Daria(going into Quinn's room): Listen, if you haven't figured it out about Mom and Dad
Quinn(interrupting) Figured what out?
Daria: What was I thinking? Anyway, they are going on a vacation while we are gone
[Quinn pauses for a second]
Quinn: I can't believe it. They are gone and I have to be on a lousy trip with YOU!
Daria: Unpack and go to sleep. Maybe you'll have a conscience in the morning
[Daria goes off to bed]
Scene XI
[6:55 the next morning. Jane and Brittany are at the house]
Helen: Daria, wake up! It's time to start your trip!
Daria: You mean you and Dad are going to come clean and Quinn is going to be nice to me?
Helen: I mean your trip to California. Joan and Brittany are on here now
[Daria barely gets out of bed and changes once here Helen leaves. Daria goes downstairs to find Jane and Brittany falling asleep at the breakfast table. Jake is reading the morning paper]
Jake: Are you ready Daria? You don't look that excited
Daria: How often do I look excited?
Jake: C'mon kiddo, your sister is full of pep this morning, you should be too!
Daria: Quinn is up this early? She NEVER gets up this early………
[Quinn comes through the front door]
Quinn: All done now! The car is packed and ready to go
Daria: Did I hear you right?
Quinn: You sure did! I took the liberty of doing all of the dirty work so we could get out here sooner
Daria: This is too good to be true…..
Helen: Joan, Brittany, wake up again! It's almost time to go
Jane(waking up): Officer, officer, I didn't mean to fall asleep, the gases from the plant do this to me every time we pass it
Helen: What are you saying Jane?
Jane: Oh, we haven't left yet. That would explain the quiet
Brittany: Time to go already! I didn't much beauty sleep last night!
Daria: Funny….I don't see much beauty around here
Helen: Give it a rest Daria. I made some breakfast for all four of you and fluffed your pillows. Are we ready to go?
All 4 travellers: I guess, yeah, sure
[The six of them head outside and the 4 get in the car. Daria and Quinn don't talk to each other the whole time]
Helen (leaning into the car): Now Daria, do you have everything I gave you?
Daria: Let's see, ATM card, road map, directions to Grandma's house, a ton of sleep-no-more, and a sack to put Quinn in. I think we're set
Helen: I'll call you out there in a week to make sure that you girls are alright and be nice to your sister
Daria: O.K. Mom. Jane, are you set to go?
Jane: Are you kidding me? We are getting away from home and school for two weeks what could be better?
Brittany: Knowing that the quarterback of the football team isn't trying to follow you
Quinn: Or your sister isn't the living form of the grim reaper
[Daria's seat goes flying back]
Daria: Oops, my seat slipped. What a coincedence
Quinn: Knock it off Daria!
Helen to Jake: What a wonderful trip they're going to have
Jake: Thank God we aren't going
[Jane starts the car up]
Daria: See you Mom and Dad
[Jane pulls out and the others wave as they leave]
Helen and Jake: Have fun! (pause) Are they gone yet?
Helen: After 16 years we finally have some free time to ourselves!
[They run into the house at full speed]
Jake: If we pack fast, we can make the 10:15 flight at the airport!
(TO BE CONTINUED)