Compulsion, or
More than One Way To Break a Washing Machine
By
Anastasia Hunt

It was a typical, sunny lawndale day, and Daria Morgendorffer was just miserable. Too sunny and just too damn typical, she thought, as she walked to school. Her annoying sister Quinn was about twenty yards in front of her, surrounded by Jeffy, Joey, and Jamie; they were groveling, as usual. Daria thought she would be sick, but she didn't have the energy.
After what seemed like forever, Daria made it to school and to her locker, where Brittany, of all people, was waiting for her. Daria felt another wave of nausea come on .
"Hello, Brittany. Where's your shadow?" Daria inquired of the bubbly blonde in typical Daria fashion. Brittany responded with a squeaky "Huh?" and a blank stare/hair twirl maneuver. After a lengthy pause, Daria asked, "Can I help you?" and thoght to herself ' No, there are some who are just beyond help'.
Brittany chuckled and said,"No, Daria. That art project's not due until NEXT week. Remember?" She pause again and then said, "No, I was just gonna tell you I'm having another party on Friday and that you and that weird girl you always hang around with are invited. And, like, anybody else you want to bring." Brittany stared at Daria expectantly.
Jane had, in the meantime, gotten to school and walked up to Daria's locker in time to witness the invitation. Daria looked at Jane briefly and then responded "Let me guess- need to keep the ratio of cute girls down, right?"
Brittany squealed, "Oh, Yes! Daria, I knew you'd come! You don't know how much this means to me! See you guys Friday night!" she trilled and then bounced off to find her Kevvie. Daria just stared in amazement.
"I didn't even say yes."
Jane said, "Oh, c'mon, Daria, it'll be fun. Besides, maybe that big-head guy will be there again." The two of them headed to class to mull this over.
"Look, Trent, will you just take us to the party? It's not like you have anything better to do anyway," Jane cajoled.
Trent groused" Another party in Crewe Neck? What's up with that?"
"Well, it's a place for me to pick up guys. And anyway, Daria loves any chance she can get to humiliate her sister." Trent perked up (as much as it is possible for Trent to perk up) at the mention of Daria. As far as he was concerned, Daria was the only female in Lawndale worth even talking to. Sure, there were plenty of cutesy little bimbos around, but they only made Trent's stomach turn. Daria was...well...cool. And any time he got to spend with her was worthwhile.
"Look, it's not like I'm asking you to go to the party- only to drive us there. Can you do that?" Jane asked.
"Oh, all right. When is it?"
"Tonight."
Trent sighed. "Well, thanks for the notice, Janey."
Jane smirked, "Anytime, bro."

"I can't believe I'm going through with this...again," Daria moaned to Jane as they were getting ready for the party in Daria's room. "Like I don't find enough humiliation at home or school...now I'm going to willingly subject myself to more of the same?"
"Yeah, but guess what-" Jane was interrupted by Helen, Daria's career-minded, pushy, obnoxious, overbearing, irritating mom.
"Daria, Jen, are you girls getting along alright? Almost ready for that big party? " Helen, one of Quinn's outfits in hand, looked at Daria expectantly.
"Honey, aren't you going to get ready?"
Daria replied, "I AM ready."
helen gasped, "You're wearing THAT? it's not too...flattering. Here, why don't you borrow something of Quinn's?"
"No, Mom, that's okay. Really."
Helen paused and grumbled briefly,then turned to leave, sticking her head back in Daria's door to say," Well, you girls have fun tonight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." On her way out, she bumped into Jake, Daria's dad.
"Hi, girls. You need a ride to the party?" he asked them.
"No, Dad, that's been taken care of," Daria replied.
"Are myou sure?" Jake insisted.
"Yeah, Dad, wer'e-" Quinn poked her cute, annoying, perfectly styled head through the door and said " There's some eeky looking guy here to see you two."
Jane piped up, " Tall, skinny, tribal armband tattoo?" Quin nodded with distaste. "That's our ride. Gotta go." She and Daria filed past Jake and Quinn. "That's what I was trying to tell you-I scammed a little bit of quality time with Trent for ya." Daria looked at her with a look that could have passed for awe. "You don't have to thank me, daria- that's what friends are for."
Twenty minutes later, Daria and Jane were standing at Brittany's front door.
Jane was applying lipstick to a resistant Daria. "Why? You know I don't do makeup, jane."
"Trust me, you'll thank me in a minute," Jane replied. The door opened.
Brittany squealed "Ooh, Hi, Daria! You made it? Oh goody! I was beginning to wonder." Quinn made a hasty retreat to the bathroom and locked the door.
Daria then noticed she was without her purse. "Oh, damn, I must have left it in trent's car," she remarked to Jane, who only smirked. Daria was beginning to wonder if something was up. As she mused, Jeffy bumped into her as he looked for Quinn, spilling his drink all over her.
"Like, I'm sorry, I didn't -hey, have you seen Quinn?" he said. Daria's jacket was the only casualty in this, so she removed it and looked for someplace to ditch it. As she hung it on a ceramic tiger, she said to Jeffy," Fortunately, not yet. She's probably in the bathroom ,though. You know Quinn- always hiding in the damn bathroom at parties." Jeffy looked at her briefly and continued his search elsewhere. Just then, the song by Smash Mouth with the really danceable beat came on and the whole room began to dance- Daria included, which puzzled her.

Trent turned on the tape player as he was leaving Brittany's. He was in the mood for a little They Might be Giants this evening. "Ana Ng" was cranking from the speakers and Trent was thinking. The song got to the part about walking in the glow of each other's majestic presence, and Trent noticed that Daria's purse was still in the seat. There was only one thing to do- return it.Even if it meant dealing with the rent-a cop and the snotty Crewe Neckers. Daria was worth the hassle.

Trent made it past the cop and into the house. What he saw boggled his mind- The whole room was dancing to that damn cheesy Smash Mouth song- and Daria was leading them. That song was potent. And Daria was in a trancelike frenzy, twisting like crazy. It was creepy, but kind of cool. RThen the song ended. Everybody went back to their discussing and munching. Daria looked up, saw Trent, and cringed. Trent handed her purse to her wordlessly. He'd tease Janey mercilessly later.
"Ah..thanks, Trent," Daria wheezed.
"Hey, no problem."
Upchuck walked up to the two of them and said, "Hey, we're playing post office, and you two just won a trip to the Mmmmakeout Room!"
"Um...I didn't even know we were playing," Daria said. Jane walked up behind her and said "Okay, so I took the liberty of entering you guys. Now be good sports and let us lock you in the laundry closet for seven minutes, okay?"
Daria and Trent stared at each other wordlessly. "Six and a half minutes to go", noted Daria.
Jane slipped Upchuck a fiver. "Thanks, Upchuck." He looked at her and said "But we're not playing post office...unless you want to. Grrrowwrrrr!!"
"Dream on, Upchuck. It was devious of me to be so untruthful, but necessary."

"Well, thanks for bringing me my purse. And I'm sorry you got roped into this Post Office thing."
"Actually, I don't mind- I kind of enjoy your company," trent said, and then turned beet red. Oh well, he thought, might as well spill all. "I was listening to this song when I found it...it was about heartfelt longing for someone on the other side of the world."
"Sounds like "Ana Ng", by They Might Be Giants, the first rock band to find a prominent yet very cool use for the accordion," Daria chipped in.
"Yeah, it was." He paused. "Have you ever felt that way before? A longing for someone-"
"- and worried that it will never happen?' She finished. "Uh.......uhhuh," she replied very quietly. She was a nervous wreck. So was he. Daria took off her glasses and began to polish them- a nervous habit.
"Lemme see those," Trent requested. He tried them on, took them off, and shook his head. He attemted to put them back on her but wound up bumping noses with her quite sharply. "Ow," she said. He rubbed her nose for her and muttered an apology. She gently removed his hand from her nose , pulled him closer, and kissed him gently. Than they kissed with more intensity. Daria accidentally fell back on the washer and it started to foam. She and Trent looked at each other, chuckled dryly, and left the room.

the end.....or is it ?