©2005 The Angst Guy (email@example.com)
Daria and associated characters are ©2005 MTV Networks
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Synopsis: A good grade doesn’t always mean that getting it was a good thing, too.
Author's Notes: This was first produced on PPMB in the thread, “Scenes no Daria fanfic should ever have!” I have no idea what inspired me to write this ficlet. Enjoy.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to whoever started that thread!
Grading high-school tests was the easiest thing in the world, reflected science teacher Janet Barch that evening in the kitchen of her suburban home in Lawndale. She started at the top of the stack of papers on her table. Charles Ruttheimer. She smiled and scrawled an F at the top of the page without checking any of the answers. Next test: Kevin Thompson. F. Michael MacKenzie. Another F. Males in this society got all the breaks in life, and females suffered as a result. Janet Barch was proud to be the one who leveled out the playing field.
The next test in the stack was covered with a Technicolor riot of crayon marks, either gibberish or tiny pictures of people on fire or being blown up or run over by trucks. At the bottom of the page, in response to the question, “What was the most important formula discovered in the Twentieth Century?” was the reply, “E = MC Hammer!”
Janet looked at the top of the page and was able to make out the name “Daria” among the mass of scribbles. She made a tsking sound and shook her head with a smile. Daria Morgendorffer had obviously not yet recovered from her special project on the effects of LSD-25 on reaction timing. After a pause, Janet lowered her pen and wrote “A–” in the only clear spot on the page. She then gave a last look at the “E = MC Hammer!” notation, smiled, and said, “Can’t touch that!” Then it was on to the next test.
Original: 02/20/04, modified 04/06/05