Are drug-crazed rodents raiding your child's medicine
cabinet? Rats on Ritalin, next on Sick, Sad World
School's ending for summer. Mr. DeMartino is having his students
help him pack up the classroom, and finds out that Kevin and Brittany
are going to be lifeguards over the summer. Brittany manages to tear
one of his maps, and Mr. DeMartino throws a wobbler about hating being
Mr. O'Neill hands out PSAT scores in his class (which includes the
Fashion Club). Quinn finds out she didn't do very well, nor did the
rest of the Fashion Club. Sandi lies about her score, which is really
lower than Quinn's, and Quinn is disappointed that she didn't beat
Sandi's score. Mr. O'Neill asks for volunteers for his summer camp,
and is excited when Quinn approaches after class until he finds out
she just wants advice about her PSAT scores. He tells her that her
score isn't high enough to get her in to Pepper Hill, her party-school-of-choice.
Daria and Jane aren't getting along very well, and Jane surprises
Daria with the news that she'll be off at an art camp all summer.
Daria tries to talk with Jane, but Jane isn't interested.
Quinn gets really upset about the PSAT results, and asks her parents
to get her a tutor while pretending she really doesn't want one. She
tells the Fashion Club about getting tutored, and they all agree not
to let anyone else know.
Jodie's summer schedule is packed (two internships, volunteer community
service, a part-time job and golf lessons), and Mack is stuck driving
an ice-cream truck to earn some money to pay his father back.
Helen and Jake meet Tom for the first time, but barely let him get
a word in edgewise before Daria drags him out of the house. They go
out for pizza, but run into Kevin and Brittany before they get to
the pizza parlor, and Daria decides she can't deal with trying to
tell everyone that Tom is going out with her now. They end up going
to Tom's parent's club, where Daria meets Tom's family.
Quinn's tutor, David, gets a really odd introduction to the family
and finds out Quinn is really ignorant. David almost drops
her as a student until she basically begs him not to and stops pretending
she doesn't want a tutor.
Jane starts finding out exactly what the art community is really like,
much to her dismay, and Kevin and Brittany start screwing up at the
Daria is spending a lot of time sleeping in, until Helen volunteers
her for Mr. O'Neill's summer camp. Daria and Mr. DeMartino are his
co-counselors, and Mr. O'Neill divides the campers up into three groups.
Daria's group includes a bitter, angry kid named Link who catches
Jane trades snide comments about one of the instructors in the camp
with another woman, Allison, and strikes up something of a friendship
Mack has an absolutely horrible time at work, and he and Jodie don't
have time to get together to do anything until the Landon's have their
big Fourth of July party.
Daria finds out about a big Fourth of July ball from Tom's mother,
Catherine, after Tom has told her Daria wouldn't want to go. Tom explains
that he already promised Daria he'd go with her to her friend's party
(the Landon's party).
At the Landon's party, Sandi gets really jealous of the way Joey,
Jeffy, and Jamie treat Quinn, so she "accidentally" lets
slip that Quinn is being tutored. When this makes Quinn even more
popular (at least with the three Js) the rest of the Fashion Club
determines that they all need a tutor too (they all end up with David).
Daria finally tells Kevin, Brittany, and Jodie about dating Tom, which
totally throws Jodie for a loop.
Allison convinces Jane to try mingling with the other artists, which
Jane is reluctant to do until Allison bets her dinner if it doesn't
work (and it doesn't).
At the summer camp, Mr. DeMartino severely frightens one of the campers,
which at first worries him and Mr. O'Neill, but the kid turns out
to be the biggest bully in the camp, so all the other kids love Mr.
DeMartino for doing it.
David drops Sandi after she tries to take him shopping with her. He
drops Tiffany after she ignores him to do her makeup. Then Stacy stops
getting tutored after she finds out Sandi and Tiffany have.
Daria starts avoiding Tom, who is about to leave for a long stay with
his Great-aunt Mildred.
Mr. O'Neill tries to counsel Link, but Link really chews him out for
how he's running the camp.
Catherine invites Jake and Helen to a big benefit ball, but Helen
balks at the expense (it's a thousand bucks per ticket) and makes
up an excuse to get out of it.
Allison takes Jane out for the dinner, then back to her place where
she shows Jane samples of her art. After a talk, Jane gets up to leave,
but Allison hits on her. Jane insists she's straight and runs off
back to her cabin.
Kevin and Brittany screw up at the pool again, getting a "once
more and you're fired" notice.
Mr. O'Neill tries to get the campers to sit in a big circle and meditate,
but has to leave to get his acanacia. When he's gone, Mr. DeMartino
goes spare and breaks out a window, leading all the campers out into
the hills for a hike. Daria has a talk with Link (they're the only
ones still inside), but it gets ruined when Mr. O'Neill comes back
and butts in.
Quinn starts to really like David, and tries to get him to ask her
Jane gets pretty fed up with the art camp, doing a lot of paintings
she later describes as her "Art Camp Sucks" period.
The summer camp ends with all the campers loving Mr. DeMartino, which
rekindles his desire to be a teacher. Daria tries to have one last
talk with Link, but he's still upset because he thinks she was only
fronting for Mr. O'Neill.
Daria finally agrees to go out with Tom again, but starts off by trying
to pick a fight with him. He finally gets fed up with her total resistance
to doing anything and drives off.
Quinn goes to Daria for advice about David, and tells her that she
and Tom are obviously compatible. When Daria complains about Tom's
family, Quinn gets freaked out about people judging her by her family,
Daria, in an attempt to bring some intelligence to the house, calls
Jane and bribes her into letting Daria come for a visit. Jane suggest
riding with Mystik Spiral, who were planning to stop by for a visit
on their way to a gig.
Kevin and Brittany of course manage to mess up again and get fired.
They meet Mack in his truck, who quits and manages to convince them
to take over for him. They're very popular with the kids, because
they can't make proper change.
Daria and Trent have a talk about Jane, while the rest of the band
sleeps. Trent tries to reassure Daria, at least until he gets some
good inspiration for a song.
Quinn tells David that she like likes him, and asks him out, but he
turns her down, saying she's shallow, which really upsets Quinn.
Mack finally spends a little time with Jodie (down at the soup kitchen,
but he brings roses; red ones) and offers to take her out to Chez
Pierre. She finds out he quit, but he tells her that he paid off his
Daria and Jane don't hit it off very well at first, but end up going
to the Mystik Spiral gig and more or less make-up there. Before Daria
leaves the camp, Jane tries to convince her to give Tom another chance.
When Daria gets home, Quinn goes to her for advice about David. Daria
tries to comfort her, and Helen overhears part of their conversation.
After Quinn leaves, Helen comes in and gives Daria a letter, which
turns out to be from Link.
School starts back up, and Quinn actually answers (correctly) a question
in History class. Sandi tries to intimidate her about it, but Quinn
metaphorically slaps her silly.
Daria and Jane walk home together from their first day back at school
and talk a bit about their summer, but just as Jane reveals the incident
with Allison Tom pulls up in his car. Jane gets Daria to get in the
car with Tom and heads home.
Daria and Tom have a talk while sitting in his car outside Daria's
house, and agree to give it another try.
Mr. DeMartino: It almost makes me forget that most of you
didn't learn a thing all year!
Daria: That's not true. I learned to sleep sitting up.
Mr. O'Neill: You think you might have done better if you studied?
Who were these other people you mentioned?
Quinn: I told you to forget them!
Mr. O'Neill: Eep! Of course you did.
Mr. O'Neill: Put your nose to the proverbial grindstone.
Quinn: What's wrong with my nose?
"Does this college town have a name, or do you just turn left
at the kid with the tractor?" -- Daria ("Is It Fall Yet?")
Stacy: We're only flesh and blood.
Tiffany: Stacy, ew.
Sandi: We'll have plenty of time to pull up our test scores
Stacy: Yeah! No sweat!
Tiffany: Stacy, ew.
Helen: I see. And what exactly is this job?
Daria: I'm sorry, but the confidentiality agreement I signed
with the government prevents me from revealing that.
Brittany: Wait a minute, isn't golf for old people who dress
Jodie: Yeah, my parents.
Helen: The game plan is, you don't say a word.
Jake: So he won't feel self-conscious about the vocal cords,
"Sorry about that. They've been acting a little strange since,
oh, ever since I can remember." -- Daria ("Is It Fall Yet?")
Daria: Boy, you can really smell the mold on the old money
in here, can't you?
Tom: Better on the money than on the food. Uh-oh.
Daria: Someone pull out a new twenty?
Catherine: High honor role is an achievement in any school.
Daria: Actually, at ours it just means you stayed out of prison
David: Hi, I'm David Stornsten. Are you Quinn?
Daria: I don't know, is this the ninth circle of hell?
David: The Divine Comedy.
Daria: Wait a minute, you know that? All right, who are you
and what do you want with my sister?
Quinn: Oh yeah. Napoleon, Water World, the A La Carta.
David: Hm. Revisit European History.
Helen: I'm sorry, but you're not staying locked up in your
room all summer.
Daria: So instead you're going to lock me up with a busload
of whiny kids and the poor-man's Kathy Lee Gifford?
"What about my feelings? What about my rights? (pause) What
about my bribe?" -- Daria ("Is It Fall Yet?")
"I just can't sit here and listen to any more vacuous prattle
with your brain-dead friends. Eyeliner, hair-band colors, God are
you boring." -- David ("Is It Fall Yet?")
"Do the world a favor and don't go to college! Give up
your spot to somebody who wants to learn." -- David ("Is
It Fall Yet?")
"Now just the counselors. This young person, he played... huh...
Oh dear." -- Mr. O'Neill ("Is It Fall Yet?")
Daniel: But what was I thinking when I created a work that
seems to have turned out both seminal and semiotic?
Jane: I can't believe I'm getting away with it?
Kevin: Say there... um, Tom. If you're Daria's brother, how
come we never saw you before this year?
Tom: That should be obvious. They weren't able to match up
our telltale birthmarks until now.
Daria: Um, Jodie. Hell's frozen over, and Tom's here with
Jodie: What? I mean... it didn't occur to me that... um, you
Allison: You can't eat in your room forever. Why go to an
artist's colony if you're not going to mix with your fellow artists?
Jane: That's like saying why go to a penal colony if you're
not going to mix with your fellow... I think I'll stop there.
"Gee that was fun. But in the future let's save time and just
roll around on gravel." -- Jane ("Is It Fall Yet?")
"You academics aren't very understanding of the pressures facing
normal people. Nevertheless, if we leave now, I'll buy you
a snowcone." -- Sandi ("Is It Fall Yet?")
David: Steinbeck was perhaps best known for his poignant novel
about the Oakies.
Tiffany: Uh huh...
David: A heavy metal band famous for having a baboon on bass.
Tiffany: Uh huh...
"This toaster's really shiny." -- Tiffany ("Is It
"They were making fun of their butts? Wait, that would
be saddle-baggers. Oh no, that's the look my mother always gets when
I say something stupid." -- Stacy ("Is It Fall Yet?")
Mr. O'Neill: I asked you to stop by because I noticed you
seem a little... subdued.
Link: I was going to say miserable, but okay.
Link: How can you stand this place?
Daria: Um, cause I'm one of the guards instead of the prisoners?
"Aagh! Peanut butter! Sitting in circles, stupid songs, arts
and crafts... cruel and unusual... HELL! I can't take it any more!"
-- Mr. DeMartino ("Is It Fall Yet?")
"If you feel yourself getting mad, go ahead! If someone is doing
something that irritates you, tell them about it in detail! And hike
whenever you feel like it!" -- Mr DeMartino ("Is It Fall
Helen: Normally we love museums. In fact we were thinking
of seeing the Van Gogh exhibit this week.
Tom: Um... That exhibit left a year ago.
"You can't judge people by their family. I mean, what if people
judge me by... bleah, gotta go." -- Quinn ("Is It Fall Yet?")
Brittany: Oh Mack, something terrible happened!
Mack: It's okay, the sun isn't really gone, it's just hiding
behind a cloud.
Jane: Some day the curators will look back on these and say
they're from my Art Colony Sucks period.
Jane: Hey Trent, I meant to tell you, you guys have a gig
Daria: You better start soon or you'll miss your next break.
Jane: Unless you take your next break now.
Daria: In which case you better take it on stage; they'll never
think of looking for you there.
Jane: And while you're up there maybe you could play something.
Oh, wait, that's what they're paying you for. Nevermind.
Trent: You guys are weird.
Jane: Give it some thought on the way back.
Daria: I don't think so.
Jane: Or, converse with the band. The choice is yours.
Jake: It's summer all ready?
Helen: (exasperated) Jake... You made a joke, didn't you?
A somewhat promising end to the season, indicating a return to humor
after "Dye! Dye! My Darling"
Also see my Rambling of 11-19-00.