It's quite a web site when Civil War buffs get in
the buff. www.gettysbare, next on Sick, Sad World.
The teachers, headed by Mr. DeMartino, want a pay raise. Ms. Li is
adamant about not giving them one, and after a heated exchange the
teachers go on strike.
School continues anyway, with Ms. Li brining in substitutes. We meet
two of them. Mr. DeMartino's replacement is Mrs. Stoller, an elderly
teacher used to first graders. Mr. O'Neill's replacement is Ken Edwards,
who is quickly revealed as a pedophile. He gets fired as soon as Helen
finds out from Quinn that he was hitting on Tiffany in class. Ms.
Li needs a replacement and decides to stick Daria with the job of
The teachers picket outside the school, but don't have much luck.
They spend a lot of time trying to come up with protest songs and
protest signs to garner more support.
Quinn is very upset about having Daria as a teacher, but Jake is quite
excited. He think it'll give him more time for his model trains if
the parent-teacher conferences are at home.
Trent, coming to school to pick up Daria and Jane, runs into Mr. O'Neill.
Mr. O'Neill recognizes him and manages to flatter Trent into helping
write a protest song for the teachers. When Daria and Jane show up
to leave, Ms. Defoe asks her to help with their signs. Jane gets Daria
to use her new teacher powers and write a note to get out of class
to work on the signs.
Daria manages to figure out from Quinn's class that Mr. O'Neill was
teaching Romeo and Juliet. She has to write her own lesson
plan and test.
After an insulting "final offer" from Ms. Li, Mr. DeMartino
goes in to face her over the contract the teachers want.
Quinn actually takes notes in class, expecting Daria to do her worst.
When Sandi gripes to her about it, Quinn ends up actually being defensive
about Daria's teaching. Sandi threatens Quinn with revealing that
Quinn and Daria are sisters if the Fashion Club doesn't get good grades
on the test.
Tom tries to help Daria with writing a test, and they get interrupted
by Quinn as kind Daria to go easy on the class. Daria refuses and
basically calls Quinn smart, which so confuses Quinn that she runs
off downstairs to study. Quinn runs into Jake, who offers to help
her. Quinn has to correct Jake's foggy memory of the play, and realizes
she does know it, much to her relief.
Ms. Li and Mr. DeMartino sit up in Li's office all night and the next
day with the contract negotiations.
The two subs give their classes a test. Daria ends up giving out a
one question essay test. The Fashion Club, except Quinn, gets a bad
grade. Sandi gets angry and threatens again to reveal that Quinn and
Daria are related. Quinn counters by threatening to show around some
pictures of Sandi in fifth grade with huge braces, but then admits
that Daria is her sister. Sandi tries to play it up, but ends up embarrassing
The teachers are back at work the next day, and Mr. DeMartino is so
pumped by his success that he actually tries to teach Kevin.
Jane: Is that the voice in my head that tells me to kill and
Daria: No. Satan's voice is lower and he has an English accent.
"In an unprecedented show of spine... I mean, spite, your teachers
have announced a strike." -- Ms. Li ("Lucky Strike")
Mr. Edwards: The only books worth reading are those written
in the deep, passionate waters of life.
Stacy: So, like Jaws?
Mr. Edwards: See, love can be so simple when the hand of experience
nurtures the budding flower to full blossom.
Tiffany: You're writing about gardening?
Mrs. Stoller: Darlene, where are you going?
Daria: To get Daria.
Good Daria: You'd be betraying your teachers.
Evil Daria: Hey, yeah. You'd be betraying your teachers.
"Home is my sanitarium away from school." -- Quinn ("Lucky
Mr. O'Neill: Wait... I know you!
Trent: You're on Spiral's mailing list?
Trent: (singing) Your salary offends me. Your health plan...
Mr. O'Neill: Doesn't mend me?
Trent: You know, if you're not going to take this seriously
we can just stop right now.
Mrs. Stoller: And so the people asked George Washington, "Will
you be our new king?" And Washington said (Jane walks in) young
lady, you're tardy.
Brittany: Gee, he wasn't very focused.
"Thank you Joey, Jeffy, or Jamie. Laurence Olivier, in his present
state, couldn't do much better." -- Daria ("Lucky Strike")
"I'd suggest you cheat off your neighbors, but considering who
most of you are sitting to..." -- Daria ("Lucky Strike")
"Don't think you can intimiate... intermolate... don't think
you can scare me with your threat to picket naked." -- Ms. Li
"Anthony, Angela, any progress? Oh no, they've killed each other!"
-- Mr. O'Neill ("Lucky Strike")
"Oh Puffy you don't need a weapon to make me do your bidding."
-- Ms. Li ("Lucky Strike")
"People of Mars. I mean, students of Lawndale High. This is
your leader, a pricipal. What was I saying? Oh, the teachers, the
teachers. The strike's over." -- Ms. Li ("Lucky Strike")
Amusing episode that suceeds very well despite the plot.
Also see my Rambling of March