"How shoddy fertility drugs are creating a new breed of gang, and wreaking havoc with police line ups. Delinquent Quintuplets, next on Sick, Sad World."

A delivery service drops off a huge bouquet for Quinn. Daria is the one who answers the door, and she takes it to Quinn who's considering her other gifts, for various idiotic anniversaries, from Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie. Quinn and Daria talk a bit, ending up with Quinn figuring out that it's almost the six month anniversary of Daria and Tom's first date.
Helen starts circling help wanted ads in the paper for Jake, which gets him angry until he finds one for an internet startup. He manages to bluff his way through the job interview and get hired, although he's disappointed to have missed the boat on stock options.
Daria starts getting angry at Tom for not going out on a "real" date, and tries to hint to him that she wants to. Jane eventually finds out about their problem, and tries to cheer Daria up, which rather backfires.
Jake meets and greets his new coworkers, and is rather put off by them. The place is a stereotypical Internet startup, but Jake is troubled by all the tech talk that he doesn't understand. He ends up asking Daria to help him out on the computer.
Tom goes over to Daria's house to try to talk to her. He takes her out for a walk and figures out she's mad at him. He tries to get her tell him what's wrong, but she wont, so he walks off.
Jake pulls an all-nighter on his big marketing presentation, but gets very distracted by all the goodies a computer with a big Internet connection can offer. He's multitasking so hard that he manages to crash his laptop hard and lose his presentation.
Daria talks to Helen about the anniversary. Helen first assumes it's a sex talk, and is greatly relieved when it isn't. Helen tells Daria a story about one of her anniversaries with Jake, and that she shouldn't expect much because if she does she'll be disappointed. She adds that if he forgets the anniversary all together she should show no mercy.
Jake's presentation is little more than a litany of buzzwords and pretty much flops. He then throws a tantrum about his computer crashing which goes over sort of well. Just well enough to get him kept on as a consultant.
Daria finally realizes (after a lot of examples in her face at school) that she's been a jerk, and goes to talk to Tom. Tom calls her on forgetting the anniversary herself and being angry at him for doing the same. They end up celebrating by eating Quinn's chocolates.

"Hey, when did the help-wanted section start coming precircled? Am I paying extra for this?" -- Jake ("Sappy Anniversary")

"Snotty digerati! Hey, that rhymes." -- Jake ("Sappy Anniversary")

"I'm going to call it Exploding Kiln #1. Or what do you think of Pottery Blam?" -- Jane ("Sappy Anniversary")

"My ex, your current, this is slightly uncomfortable, but how can I resist?" -- Jane ("Sappy Anniversary")

Jake: Backslash! Backslash, damn it! Gotta remember it's a backslash!
Daria: Relax. It's not like you depend on the internet for a living.

Quinn: Sometimes things just slip my mind, like names or what day it is.
Tom: It's tuesday.

"Jake Morgendorffer, that is one beautiful pie chart. Oh damn, the zmbies are coming over the hill! Bam, bam, bam! Exploding frog cartoon? Gotta see that! Good lord, the Nikkei is dropping! Quick, move out of Yen! Something's happening on the panda cam? I am wearing a polo shirt and khakis, why do you ask?" -- Jake ("Sappy Anniversary")

Daria: It's not about sex.
Helen: Oh, thank god! I mean, I see.

Daria: So I admit I've been kind of sensitive lately. And, um, a little...
Tom: Distant? Cranky? Childish?
Daria: Yes. Thank you so much for all the adjectives.

Wraith's Ramblings:
Very funny Jake plot clashing with Daria and Tom having a fight over, effectively, nothing at all.
Also see my Rambling of 03-02-2001