Would you moan my name... if I boinked you in heaven?
Ghost Hookers in the Sky, tonight on Sick, Sad World
Jane is spending a lot of time with Tom still, and Daria isn't very
happy about it. At school, Mrs. Bennett assigns the class a real-world
economics lesson, in which they have to form groups and do something
like buy a car (only not really buy it, of course, just go through
the process). Daria asks to do the project alone, mostly to tick off
Jane, but isn't allowed to. Jodie doesn't want to work with Mack,
since he's owed his father money since the third grade, and ends up
teaming with Daria to escape Brittany, who's had a fight with Kevin.
Unfortunately, this leaves Jane standing there when Brittany is on
the prowl, and they end up partners. This leaves Mack and Kevin, of
Jodie isn't thrilled by Daria's attitude throughout the project. After
eliminating all their other ideas, Jodie basically decides on applying
for a small business loan, and Daria doesn't really object. They end
up going out for pizza to escape Daria's crazy family while they work
on the project.
Everyone else ends up at the pizza place as well. Jane starts by taking
control of the project and picking what she considers the easiest
thing on the list: buying a car. Mack and Kevin have made the same
choice, and when they spot Jane and Brittany, Brittany and Kevin have
a little one-upmanship. Daria and Jodie show up, and Jodie goes off
with Mack to eat. Kevin runs off after his fight with Brittany, and
Jane invites Daria to join them, but she says she isn't hungry.
Jane and Brittany go to talk to a car salesman, and he turns out to
be far more interested in Brittany than anything else. He makes plenty
of passes at her that she doesn't really notice, and he pretty much
Mack and Kevin get stuck with a real fast-talking (literally) salesman,
who manages to convince Kevin that a twenty thousand dollar car is
actually cheaper than a ten thousand dollar car.
Daria and Jodie set up a business plan for a youth investment advising
firm, and pitch it to a local bank. The banker is impressed, but calls
the loan "high risk" since they're both still in high school
and with no experience. He asks Daria if her father could cosign it,
but she says no, and Jodie gets angry at him for asking Daria. After
Jodie mentions her father's name, the banker is impressed, and offers
them the loan, but they turn it down and storm out. On their way to
the next bank, Jodie makes a big deal about wanting to be judged by
her own merit, but then at the next bank makes sure the bank official
knows her father's name from the start. Back at Daria's, Daria calls
Jodie on her name dropping, and Jodie tells her off and storms out
in a huff, all with Helen standing in the background.
Brittany actually manages to get a good deal on the car, although
it's mostly because the salesman was trying to get her to go to the
Bahamas with him. Kevin actually makes a cash downpayment on his,
and freaks out when he's told they weren't really supposed to buy
Daria and Helen have a talk about Daria's ethical standards. Helen
points out that Jodie's more pragmatic than Daria, and that having
strong ethical standards isn't a bad thing, but also manages to tie
in a guilt trip about Jane.
During their class presentation, Jodie gets really worried that Daria's
going tell what really happened, but Daria supports her story. After
class they apologize to each other, and Daria apologizes to Jane,
and they agree to pizza after school.
Tom: Anybody want a ride home?
Daria: That's very thoughtful of you. But since I live two
houses down, I guess I'll pass.
Daria: You don't have to tiptoe around me like I'm some sort
of hysterical nut-job.
Jane: There are many words I could use to describe you. Hysterical
is not among them.
"I know what you think, but I know what I think, and I think
I think just as well as you think. Don't you think?" -- Brittany
Daria: Are you comparing Kevin and Brittany to you and me?
Jane: There's like sixteen possible combinations there, and
not a single one of them works.
Jane: You want to do a class project with me?
Brittany: Well, not really, but I mean, you're right here and
"I hate everybody. So, you ready to work?" -- Daria ("Partner's
"No, no, absolutely not! It's unethical, it's immoral, it may
well be illegal, I'll have no part of it. Okay, I'll do it."
-- Helen ("Partner's Complaint")
Jodie: Daria is the inside person; I'm the outside person.
Banker: Very wise decision.
"Hey, Janey. Hey, Da... Whoa!" -- Trent ("Partner's
"Your father found a cheese fry melted onto his "World's Greatest
Dad" cup and he thought it was some kind of rodent. Now he's sworn
off coffee." -- Helen ("Partner's Complaint")
It started off fairly well, but too little information and a rather
mixed message keep this from being among Glenn's better works.
Also see my Rambling of 11-6-00.