Is there really a secret underwater train smuggling
flounder to freedom? Tonight, on Sick, Sad World
Jake is up late because a waiter gave him the wrong kind of coffee
(he asked for decaf) and is trying to make some warm milk in the kitchen
when he manages to light a roll of paper towels on fire with the stove.
He wakes everyone up and gets them out of the house, and the fire
is put out before it does much damage, but the Morgendorffers have
to go stay in a hotel for two weeks while the house is repaired (mostly
The insurance won't cover much, but Jake gets one of his clients,
La Grande Hotel, to give him a discount. At the hotel they meet Bobby
Stewart, a bellhop who takes a liking to Quinn and starts offering
her all sorts of things "because my uncle's the hotel manager."
Daria and Quinn find out they have to share a room.
Tom and Jane get bored with TV and try to figure out something else
to do, but get into an argument and end up not doing anything.
While Helen and Jake start to get some spice into their marriage,
Daria takes off for Jane's house to escape her sister. Jane isn't
happy about it, but allows her to stay anyway, and sticks her in Penny's
room (way at the other end of the house from hers). Daria tries to
go back to the hotel after the first night, but Quinn gets really
freaked out because the Fashion Club is holding a meeting there, so
Daria ends up staying with Jane for most of the two weeks.
The Fashion Club does meet at the hotel, and gets most of the attention
from the people working there (who all seem to be young guys). Sandi
gets jealous over the amount of attention Quinn is getting from Bobby,
and starts calling him a stalker.
Daria and Tom get into an involved talk on history and politics, especially
relating to Lenin, Trotsky, and Ms. Li. Jane walks in on them talking,
because Tom is very late for their date.
Quinn starts getting worried about Bobby actually being a stalker,
and tries to talk to Helen and Jake, who are so relaxed by the hotel
living that they barely notice.
Jane starts avoiding Daria at school and at her place, until finally
Daria waits in her room for her to get home. Daria confronts her about
the way she's been acting, and Jane starts getting real jealous until
she calms down a bit and realizes Daria isn't doing anything. Jane
admits to problems between her and Tom.
Then Bobby turns out to be a computer hacker, and some detectives
talk to Quinn, which freaks out Helen and Jake who think something's
happened to her. Quinn freaks out when she finds out she almost went
on a date with a computer geek. Jake and Helen finally notice Daria
is missing, and get Quinn to tell them where she went. They go to
Jane's to pick her up.
Daria's had a conversation with Trent, after he comes looking for
Jane because he thinks one of them is supposed to give the other a
ride or something. Trent claims Tom is interested in Daria, and Daria
gets really defensive about it. Her parents finally show up, and she's
very quiet on the way home.
"Oh my god, Eric, the house is on fire, I'll have to call you
back! No, I don't know when. No, you can't hold!" -- Helen ("Fire!")
Jake: Daria! What are you doing in bed when the house is on
Daria: Um... trying to find out if these blankets are flame
Helen: Jake, leaving paper towels by an open flame? What's
wrong with you?
Daria: Mom's right. Kerosene would have been much more effective.
Jane: You gave Daria your number?
Tom: You did. So we could go rescue her from mother/daughter
Quinn: Yeah. And they have these satiny padding kind of hangers,
so your clothes won't get hurt.
Daria: In fact, it's the same satiny padding that's inside
Quinn: Eeww... You're not really going to eat all that fat,
Daria: No. I'm going to stick it in my boots because I love
that squishy-squishy feeling around my toes.
Trent: Can't. Practice starts at seven.
Jane: Trent. It's nine.
Trent: Hm. I better head out.
Jane: I thought you wanted pizza.
Tom: Actually, I'm not that hungry after all.
Jane: Okay. Guess I've lost my appetite, too.
Sandi: Excuse me, but some people should not go out of the
house without a muumuu.
Quinn: I know. It's like she's not even worried about offending
Quinn: Bobby! What are you doing here?
Tiffany: I think he works for the hotel...
"We were talking about The Prince's influence on Lenin,
Trotsky, and Mrs. Li." -- Daria ("Fire!")
Ms. Defoe: Jane, while art is a time-honored way to give expression
to strong emotions, it shouldn't be at the expense of your canvas.
Jane: (tearing a hole in the canvas) What?
Ms. Defoe: Um, nevermind.
Jane: We'd sit in front of the TV and make fun of whatever
we saw. It was the perfect relationship.
Jodie: You're just joking when you say that, right?
" So I said we can't just start thinking every guy who follows
us around is a stalker, because the whole Fashion Club philosophy
is based on getting guys to follow us around." -- Quinn
"Mo-om, I said he's not a stalker, he's just enthusiastic!"
-- Quinn ("Fire!")
"So, the only way he could have "stopped by" is if
he went that way to see you before he came this way to see me! Oh."
-- Jane ("Fire!")
Daria: Weren't you having problems before I got here?
Jane: Well, if you insist on being accurate about it.
"Where's that stalker? I'll rip his eyes out! Um... he is all
handcuffed and stuff, right?" -- Jake ("Fire!")
Quinn: You mean I almost went out with...
Detective: That's right.
Quinn: A computer geek?!
"Guys can always tell when other guys are into someone. You
know, ethereal transference." -- Trent ("Fire!")
Better than most of the season, with some humor and some drama, but
too many irrelevancies to be good drama and not enough humor to fit
Also see my Rambling of 11-17-00.