Fish gotta swim, and bird's gotta fly, but not when
you bake 'em both in a pie! Sunday Brunch in the Loony Bin next, on
Sick, Sad World
Jake is really excited about a conference he and Helen are going
to be attending. He's especially excited by the chance to meet the
guy who owns the Pizza Forest restaurant chain. Quinn is disturbed
by the prospect of being alone with Daria all weekend, especially
when she isn't going to be allowed to date, although she and Daria
are permitted to ask a friend over.
Quinn turns down Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, who all want to take her
to a concert, which really concerns Sandi. Quinn manages to convince
her that she's just playing hard to get, and ends up inviting all
three over for a sleep-over.
Daria tries to stay over at Jane's, but can't because Jane and Tom
are going out that night. Later, Daria finds out that the conference
is right by the Museum of Medical Oddities, and she asks Jake to pick
her up a skull-crusher. Helen gets a call from Eric, and can't go
to the conference because a big case just reopened. Daria decides
to go along with Jake, partly to escape Quinn, and partly to visit
the museum. Helen suggests that he use this time to get to know Daria.
After Daria and Jake leave, Helen gets a call from Eric saying the
case was settled after all, so she's going to be around all weekend.
Quinn gets worried, and makes some quick excuses about inviting three
people over. That weekend, Sandi hits on the idea of giving Helen
a makeover to totally humiliate Quinn.
Jake and Daria run into Andrew and Michele Landon at the conference.
Unfortunately, Jake's room reservation was lost, and he and Daria
get stuck in rooms above the kitchen. At the reception, Andrew introduces
Terry-Berry Barlow to Jake, but Barlow pretty much ignores him at
first. Later, he insults marketing consultants, to Jake, but asks
to speak with Daria to prove his point about market research (although
he's got a problem with names). He's impressed by her response, and
invites Jake and Daria to go ballooning with him the next morning.
Helen tries to get relationship advice from the Fashion Club, but
is a bit disappointed with the result. The Fashion Club spends a restless
night, with Quinn and Sandi having nightmares about each other, Stacy
getting pillow hair, and Tiffany getting a rash. This is made even
worse when Joey, Jeffy and Jamie show up in the morning and see all
of them before they have a chance to put on any makeup.
Jake is trying to convince Daria to help him out, and they sit down
to have a sort of talk, where they exchange shoe-sizes. The next morning
they show up for the balloon ride, but Barlow's balloonist gets mad
and quits. Daria refuses to go along, insulting Barlow in the process.
Barlow gets angry and storms off, leaving Jake, who manages to release
the balloon when he tries to get out. Luckily it quickly gets stuck
in a tree.
Jake manages to get over his fear of heights, and Daria gets him to
spend a few hours in the Museum of Medical Oddities.
Quinn: You're leaving me here alone with Daria all weekend?
Daria: Relax. I'll use the popular thumb screws.
Quinn: But how am I supposed to choose just one friend?
Daria: Throw them in a lake and see which one bobs to the surface
"Do you mind if I come over Saturday night? Otherwise I'm afraid
I'll end up doing time for de-accessorizing a teenage girl with my
bare hands." -- Daria ("Of Human Bonding")
Helen: I mean, this trip is a chance to really get to know
your daughter as a person. Her hopes, her dreams, her fears.
Jake: Ah, Helen, do I have to?
Jake: But I'm scared.
Barlow: Say, Darlene, would alligator wrestling get you into
Jake: Of course it would!
Daria: That depends. Is there a restaurant next door with cock
Daria: On the other hand, you know how we always sit in the
kitchen together reading the paper and not talking?
Jake: Is this a trick question?
"No matter what I do, pillow hair!" -- Stacy ("Of
Daria: You could still be the first to fly around the world
Arno: Teen-girl is right. I shall do it. Beginning now. I quit.
"Refusing to have anything to do with an unmanageable bag of
hot air. Or his balloon." -- Daria ("Of Human Bonding")
More Helen and Jake trouble, more Fashion Club infighting. Daria and
Jake's bonding attempt was pretty amusing, except the "hero"
comment. Never would have guessed it was by one of the two main writers.
Also see my Rambling of 11-11-00.