What does your foot odor say about your sexual prowess? Sniffing For Love on the next Sick, Sad World

Mr. DeMartino is teaching the class about the Republican and Democrat parties, when Ms. Li bursts in with an announcement. She's decided to force everyone in the school to volunteer for a week so she can win an award from the superintendent, although that's not how she puts it. She brushes off Mr. DeMartino, who tries to resign.
Daria and Jane procrastinate, so most of the positions are filled by the time they sign up. Jane ends up doing an arts and crafts class in the children's ward of the hospital, and Daria ends up reading to seniors, which Kevin and Brittany also sign up for in the mistaken impression it involves high-school seniors. Quinn and the Fashion Club plan on collecting clothes for the homeless.
Jane picks out her own materials to take the hospital for her class (including pipes, tires, bags with radiation symbols on them, and doll heads for making voodoo dolls of the hospital staff).
Quinn talks the Fashion Club into starting by donating some of their own clothes, but only to make more room in their closets for new stuff.
At the retirement home Brittany and Kevin are big hits, Brittany with her romance novel and Kevin with his comic book. Daria tries out Howl by Allen Ginsberg and isn't well received, even after she's made to read a different book.
Jane really gets into her art project, but Daria is disappointed in her reception. Jane suggest getting some perkiness tips from Quinn, but not let Quinn know she's helping. Daria eavesdrops outside Quinns room, but can't stand it long enough to get any pointers. Daria ends up spending an afternoon with Brittany, who wants to help her out.
The Fashion Club goes collecting clothes, but is rather picky in accepting donations, not accepting anything that isn't up to their standards. Quinn finally gets worried about this, and gets Sandi to agree, so they decide to just accept anything from now on; at least, until they meet Ms. Johensen.
Daria ends up reading to a Mrs. Blaine, whom Daria at first suspects of being deaf, but who then tells Daria she has a pretty voice.
Ms. Li gets the commendation she was after, and reads it, or at least the parts that mention her, at assembly. She also gives an award to Kevin and Brittany for being "outstanding volunteers." Then the Fashion Club presents their donations, which amount to a pair of go-go boots and a belly chain. Jane got banned from the hospital for her mural, which included a scalping. At the end, Daria goes back to the retirement home and reads one of her Melody Powers stories to Mrs. Blaine.

Kevin: Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys.
Mr. DeMartino: A statement no doubt once also made by your mother!

Ms. Li: With all that this great land has given us, shouldn't we think about giving back just a little?
Daria: She's right. I'm going to renounce my citizenship.

Daria: I protested that book burning last year.
Jane: You yelled at the TV screen.

"There'll be no popsicle stick picture frames in Jane Lane's arts and crafts class. Tomorrow we're making voodoo dolls of the hospital staff" -- Jane ("The Old and the Beautiful")

"Do you think if you breathe on me I might catch your enthusiasm?" -- Daria ("The Old and the Beautiful")

"Yeah, the kids and I are redoing all the wall murals. The happy clowns holding balloons? We turned them into Mongol invaders wielding maces." -- Jane ("The Old and the Beautiful")

Daria: I didn't know Brittany had an older sister.
Ashley-Amber: She does? Cool. Maybe we can get manicures together.

Daria: They may be shallow, but that doesn't mean they should be executed.
Jane: Yes it does.
Daria: Very well, I'm sold.

Wraith's Ramblings:
Jane's part was great, and the Fashion Club was at their best (by which I mean most typical). Daria's part didn't seem to fit her character, however. I expected at least a token protest against the mandatory volunteerism, and it's very hard to imagine her desperate enough to go to Brittany for help.
Also see my Rambling of 10-29-00.