Neonatal Skinheads, next on Sick, Sad World

Jake loses a big client, and has virtually nothing to do at work. He decides to work on his cooking. Meanwhile, Helen has more than she can handle, and there is a statewide art contest with the subject of student life at school.
Mrs. Defoe guilts and flatters Jane into doing a poster to enter, and Jane forces Daria to help her with it. They go to the pizza place to think of ideas, and pig out until there's one slice left (of an unknown number of pizzas). Daria comments about how she feels like throwing up, which of course gives her a great idea for the poster.
They enter a poster of a beautiful girl looking into a mirror, with a poem, by Daria, about how she's pretty and vomits up dinner. [She's knows she's a winner,/She couldn't be thinner,/Now she goes in the bathroom/And vomits up dinner.]
Mr. O'Neill and Mrs. Li object to the language, and try to get Daria to change it. Mr. O'Neill calls their parents (Jane's mother is Amanda), but is scared of talking to the fathers, and when he has to call Jake he totally flips. Mr. O'Neill then promises that if he can't come up with something they (Daria, Jane, Li, and himself) can all agree on, they'll leave the poster alone.
He comes up with something, but it's a total perversion of the message Daria and Jane were after. They decide to withdraw the poster, but Mrs. Li decides it's going to be entered anyway. Daria and Jane then decide they don't like it, so they sneak into the school board meeting to fix the situation (with Trent's help). Jodie sees them, but Daria and Jane baffle/scare her off, then they go ahead and deface their poster.
Mrs. Li hauls them to her office the next day, and threatens to charge them with vandalizing school property. She calls to the Lane residence to talk with Mrs. Lane, but no one answers (Mrs. Lane is listening to really loud music and Trent is passed out on his bed - whether from alcohol or sleep deprivation we don't find out. Sleep deprivation for him, that is). She than calls Mrs. Morgendorffer - at her office. Helen gets really pissed when Principal Li explains the situation, and threatens her with a lawsuit. In the end Brittany's poster wins.

"'Want you to be honest,' he said. What the hell made me believe him?" - Jake ("Arts 'N Crass")

"If you're looking for some way to occupy yourself, there are plenty of chores that need doing around here. What? You get to say it." - Daria ("Arts 'N Crass")

Mrs. Defoe: Brittany, did you spill your paint?
Brittany: Um... no?

Jane: Unto?
Daria: Buckle my shoe.

Mrs. Li: Students, I urge you to take this opportunity. Curiosity, inquiry, expression; these are the building blocks of education.
Brittany: Ma'am?
Mrs. Li: No questions!

Jane: You're a real Joan of Arc, you know that?
Daria: Yeah. And I think I just ordered a stake.

"It's your decision to make. (Door closes) Call their parents." - Principal Li ("Arts 'N Crass")

Assistant: Helen, it's your daughter's teacher.
Helen: Tell them I'll make sure Quinn turns in the assignment on Monday; oh, and try to find out what the assignment is, okay, and maybe you can get started making a few notes on it.
Assistant: It's your other daughter... I think.
Helen: Daria? Well then, tell them I'll talk to her about her attitude, and try to find out who she insulted and what she said, hmm?

"Yes, is this about her essay on banning capital punishment and bringing back torture instead, because it was obviously a joke." - Helen ("Arts 'N Crass")

"You came up with the idea of a girl with an eating disorder... Daria, that is so... so you." - Helen ("Arts 'N Crass")

Daria: It's not negative. It's supportive of students who don't want to be judged by their looks.
Quinn: Oh, come on Daria. People like that don't exist.

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say: A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Jane: Not if you're a diabetic.

Mr. O'Neill: I've captured the essence of your message, while softening the "rough edges."
Daria: You stonewashed it?

Jane: I see. She's not going to throw-up anymore. But I might.
Daria: Don't do that. It's downbeat.

Daria: Sorry we woke you up.
Trent: Don't worry about it. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

"I can't believe what Mrs. Li did to your poster. Wait a minute... what are you guys planning?" - Jodie ("Arts 'N Crass")

Principal Li: Did you really think you were going to get away with it?
Jane: Well, it would be stupid to say yes now.

Wraith's Ramblings:
A good start to a new season, this episode manages to be a very funny "issue" show, with very good characterization and excellent performances by the voice actors.
Also see my Rambling of 2-17-98.