They bake cookies by day, but they really heat up at night. G-string grandmas, today on Sick, Sad World.

Tonight on Sick, Sad World; prime-time special, with people just like you, only more pathetic.

Quinn wants to go on a date with Skyler, but has a baby-sitting job the same night. Daria takes the baby-sitting job to escape Couple's Counseling night at her house. She gets Jane to come along to do homework, specifically a history paper about cults.
The two kids turn out the be perfect angles, even after the parents leave. The TV is locked to the Forecast Channel, and there are raisins in the refrigerator as a snack.
Daria gets sick of them, and calls Jane, who was delayed waiting for Trent to give her a ride. Jane and Daria tell the kids all sorts of things as bedtime stories, and then send them to bed.
Jane bypasses the Parental Lock on the TV so they can watch Sick Sad World. The kids come downstairs to watch (mud-wrestling).
Daria gets a good grade on her paper, which is about her de-programing experience. (The ending scene to this one had me laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes).

Mr. DeMartino:  Can anyone give me another example of a group using coercive techniques such as peer pressure, chanting, and social isolation to achieve control over it's members?  Brittany?
Brittany:  Cheerleading?
Mr. DeMartino:  Ah, Brittany.  Sometimes, despite a total lack of insight, you stumble on an interesting answer.

Jane:  She'll never have to worry about mind-control.
Daria:  No, but she'll have to watch out for ferrets building a nest in her head.

"She's well liked among classmates of both sexes.  And yet, strangely, she turns my stomach." - Daria ("Pinch Sitter")

"Forget it.  I don't like kids.  I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." - Daria ("Pinch Sitter")

Quinn:  Six bucks an hour!
Daria:  Ooh.  I could make a down-payment on that isolated mountain cabin.

"But, if I baby-sat for you, then technically I'd be doing you a favor.  And that simply cannot be." - Daria (Pinch Sitter)

"You know, I used to wear miniskirts.  But life goes on." - Helen ("Pinch Sitter")

Mr. Guptie:  Were you planning on having a boyfriend in the house?  Because, ha, we don't allow that.
Daria:  No problem.  I'm flying solo these days.
Mrs. Guptie:  Then I guess it's not an issue.
Daria:  Unless I pick up somebody on the way over.

Daria:  Ten dollar surcharge if I have to spend more than fifteen minutes with the parents.
Quinn:  That's fair.

Jake:  Hey Daria, where ya goin?  It's Couples Therapy Night.
Daria:  Baby-sitting job, dad.
Jake: (muttered) Wish I had a baby-sitting job.

Daria:  Hi Mrs. Kewpie.
Mrs. Guptie:  What?
Daria:  Mrs. Guptie.

Daria:  Okay, you can drop the angel act.
Tricia:  What do you mean?
Tad:  Is it time to floss yet?

Daria:  Raisins?
Tad:  Raisins are nature's candy.
Daria:  Then why do they have to cover them with chocolate to sell them at the movies?
Tricia:  Sugar is bad.
Tad:  Sugar rots your teeth.
Tricia:  Sugar makes you hyper.
Tad:  Hitler ate sugar.

Daria: Do you always believe everything grownups say?
Tricia: Yup!
Daria: Well, then, what if 2 grownups say exactly opposite things?
Tad: (Thinks a moment, then starts to cry, and runs away.)

Jane:  (answering phone) Yo.
Daria:  Hey Grandma, it's time for your damn pill.
Jane:  Huh?
Daria:  You were supposed to be here an hour ago.

Tricia:  Tad dropped a spore!
Tad:  Did not!  It was a raisin.

"All hail, Pippi Longstocking.  Hey, Trent, come look at this!" - Jane ("Pinch Sitter")

"I used to help with my sister Summer's kids... till they got old enough to run away." - Jane ("Pinch Sitter")

"And the dish ran away with the spoon.  But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize the marriage as legal." - Jane ("Pinch Sitter")

Tricia and Tad:  (In unison)  I am cool and that is it, and everyone else is full of... full of... full of...
Mrs. Guptie:  Tad!
Mr. Guptie:  Tricia

Wraith's Ramblings:
A minor expedition into exploring some bits of modern society here, although the Gupties definitely don't represent any normal family. It unfortunately set up one of the "use-it-then-once-forget-it" things standard in most television (namely, Couples' Therapy Night). And it certainly has a classic ending.