Monaco's Mopiest Millionaires, today on Sick, Sad World

Right after class picture day, the school buys a new goalpost, and the QB who had lead the team to a State Final victory comes back to memorialize it. Jodie has to write a speech about it since she's on Student Council, and gets really pissed about the whole thing. She gets stuck and goes to Daria for help.
When the football player finally does show up, he's a great big jerk, hits on Brittany, and insults everyone else. Daria and Jane, after a brief encounter, wish him dead, and then the new goalpost (which hasn't been installed yet) falls on him and kills him.
There's a big funeral in the auditorium, and Daria is disgusted by everyone thinking he's a big hero, even after he was such a jerk. Then everyone starts coming to Daria for advice on how to handle it, since she's "used to facing the void".
Jane starts to avoid Daria, and Daria gets really ticked at all the people coming to her for advice. Finally, she goes over to Jane's house, and Trent tells her Jane's out running. After a brief talk, he sends her upstairs to Jane's room, however.
Jane and Daria complain at each other, then settle down. Finally, Daria ends up selling advice on how to cope to Sandy, who's cat got into her makeup.

Quinn: Do you think Nature's Precious Wonders was a good choice, because I almost went with Starlight over Yosemite.
Helen:  I think it was a fine choice.  What did you pick, Daria?
Daria:  Black clouds swallowing Chernobyl

"I don't like to smile unless I have a reason." -- Daria ("The Misery Chick")

Helen:  Daria, people judge you by your expression.
Daria:  Yeah, and I believe there is something intrinsically wrong with that system.  I have dedicated myself to changing it.

Daria:  If you don't believe any of it, why give the speech?
Jodie:  Because I'm on the Student Council.  It's a job with many responsibilities, and today it's my responsibility to kiss the butt of some jock getting a goal-post named after him.

"I know the whole school is turning itself inside out for some egotistical football player.  And I've seen you insult or proposition just about everyone you've come across.  So, my guess is, you're the football player guy.  Congratulations.  You must've worked very hard to become such a colossal jerk so quickly." -- Daria ("The Misery Chick")

Mr. O'Neill:  You probably think about the dark side all the time.
Daria:  The dark side?  Are we talking about the Force?

Quinn:  Wow, your room still looks like this?
Daria:  Need help filling out your picture order form?  It's Q, U, I...

Daria:  Are you avoiding me?
Jane:  Uh... not any more?

"Yeah, well, I don't like it when I say people should die and then they do.  I don't want that kind of responsibility.  At least, not until I have a job in middle management." -- Jane ("The Misery Chick")

"When they say 'You're always unhappy,' what they mean is 'You think, Daria, I can tell because you don't smile.  Now this guy died, and it's making me think, and that hurts my little head and makes me stop smiling.  So, tell me how you cope with thinking all the time, Daria, until I can get back to my normal vegetative state'." -- Jane ("The Misery Chick")

Daria:  Did Trent know you were up here?
Jane:  I told him to tell anyone who showed up that I was out running.  What a surprise, he forgot.
Daria:  No, he didn't

Daria:  Find some other way to feel, then you won't feel sad.  Good luck.
Sandy:  That's what I get for ten dollars?  Are you kidding?
Daria:  See, it's working already.
Sandy:  (pause)  Thanks...
Jane:  You just made ten bucks off that poor girl's suffering.
Daria:  Yeah, that was wrong.
Jane:  Really.  Next time...
Daria:  Twenty.

Wraith's Ramblings:
Some very good interaction between Jane and Daria in this episode, as well as some exploration of Daria's place in the school society (she isn't as much of an outcast as she thinks). A little bit of development for Jodie and some of the other kids, but not all that much.
Also see my Rambling of 7-22-97, 7-28-97, 8-20-97.